Random Thoughts 30

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#7,052
#7,052
BadJerry20 said:
Oh no I'm definitely a deek. Just offering my monthly friendly advice. Mostly guys that can't take the ff drivel, and just like to have a good time. If your around tomorrow and not an alter, I'll make you a welcome thread. Its a lot of fun.
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ok, what is an alter, I'm guessing some kind of alternate identity?
 
#7,056
#7,056
If you show back up we'll make you a nice personalized welcome thread. Errybody will give a warm welcome. Tex, Smitty, Taters and I are on here most nights bullshatting
 
#7,068
#7,068
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas.

The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
 
#7,069
#7,069
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.

"Holy cow! What's that smell?"

"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"

"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
 
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#7,070
#7,070
A man was in a bar all day and he had to use the bathroom. He was in there for a while, yelling, so the barmaid reluctantly went to the bathroom to check on him.

"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the customers."

"Every time I try to flush the toilet something keeps biting my balls!"

"Sir, please get off the mop bucket."
 
#7,071
#7,071
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
 
#7,072
#7,072
Boy: ( calls 911 ) hello 911 i need your help!
911: alright what is it?
Boy: 2 girls are fighting over me!
911: -.- so whats the problem about that?
Boy: the ugly one is winning.
 
#7,075
#7,075
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied, "Well sir, it was like this. We was drivin' down the road, mindin' our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pullin' up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was 'most dead, so he shot 'em. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him. Then he came over to me and he said, 'How you feeling?'" "I said, I never felt better in my life."
​
 
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