I can't...amazing. I've been a douchebag my entire life, and I never knew exactly how to best convey it, you know? I've tried ending relationships with a text message, driving shirtless, and I even once had a bumper sticker that said "tell your girlfriend I said thanks."
But nothing...nothing felt quite right. Until I laid eyes upon this product. It perfectly exhibits to all my asinine need to prove that I perfectly fit the image of an obnoxious alpha male stereotype.
And talk about value! You'll save so much money on dates, gifts for your girlfriend, etc. when you buy this, that you'll eventually be able to make your place into a gathering for all things degrading to women.
Buy one for your brother, your best friend...anyone who enjoys spending Friday nights without the hassle of companionship, or company or friends.
Why aren't you buying this? What are you, a sissy?