ClearwaterVol
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Robert Neyland, Woody Hayes, Bear Bryant, and a host of other "old guys" take exception to your first sentence.
Come to think of it, maybe this is a generational shift. "My way or the highway" was the common attitude for hard-nosed football coaches from the inception of the game up through the mid 1900s. But you're right, in recent decades a kinder, gentler version of the successful head football coach has come into being.
Then again, there's Nick Saban.
So maybe things haven't changed as much as all that.
Those guys operated in an era where they had unlimited schollies to give. Bear used to take guys he didn't want to prevent his rivals from getting them.