Official Zone Absence Thread

Where are you?

  • Total voters
    32
#351
#351
CopperHead_Vol said:
If anyone cares, I'm back...

Off line since last fall... My sweet wife was diagnosed in early Oct with stage-4 cancer. It had spread to pancreas, liver and gallbladder. She had not been well for a while, she thought it was a gallbladder issue and had put it off due to the Covid crap and her doc retiring. Lost her on 11/22, 3 days after her first Chemo treatment.

I've struggled with serious PTSD and social anxiety since my early twenties. I was fubar when I met her 20yrs back but she loved me in spite of the hell I was in and put her through early on. She was my angel who healed me and kept my demons at bay. Went to the ER that night and came back to our isolated farm alone. It about literally ended me... Being at the farm alone is the cruelest of situations and I am still struggling daily, but my service dog Ruger is earning his keep now and the lady folks in my family are keeping an eye on me.

Sorry to vent, just hold you love ones close as we have no promise of tomorrow...

Be safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
Bless you brother
 
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#352
#352
CopperHead_Vol said:
If anyone cares, I'm back...

Off line since last fall... My sweet wife was diagnosed in early Oct with stage-4 cancer. It had spread to pancreas, liver and gallbladder. She had not been well for a while, she thought it was a gallbladder issue and had put it off due to the Covid crap and her doc retiring. Lost her on 11/22, 3 days after her first Chemo treatment.

I've struggled with serious PTSD and social anxiety since my early twenties. I was fubar when I met her 20yrs back but she loved me in spite of the hell I was in and put her through early on. She was my angel who healed me and kept my demons at bay. Went to the ER that night and came back to our isolated farm alone. It about literally ended me... Being at the farm alone is the cruelest of situations and I am still struggling daily, but my service dog Ruger is earning his keep now and the lady folks in my family are keeping an eye on me.

Sorry to vent, just hold you love ones close as we have no promise of tomorrow...

Be safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...

Dude sorry to hear that.
 
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#353
#353
Hate to hear this Copperhead, I'll definitely pray for your comfort through this difficult time. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer just a little over 4 months after being diagnosed. That's some hateful stuff and I feel for you.

Most of us in the Zone will always "listen" when stuff like this hits one of us and you're always welcome to vent. We sometimes may not know what to say, but we'll always listen.

You're welcome anytime.
 
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#354
#354
CopperHead_Vol said:
If anyone cares, I'm back...

Off line since last fall... My sweet wife was diagnosed in early Oct with stage-4 cancer. It had spread to pancreas, liver and gallbladder. She had not been well for a while, she thought it was a gallbladder issue and had put it off due to the Covid crap and her doc retiring. Lost her on 11/22, 3 days after her first Chemo treatment.

I've struggled with serious PTSD and social anxiety since my early twenties. I was fubar when I met her 20yrs back but she loved me in spite of the hell I was in and put her through early on. She was my angel who healed me and kept my demons at bay. Went to the ER that night and came back to our isolated farm alone. It about literally ended me... Being at the farm alone is the cruelest of situations and I am still struggling daily, but my service dog Ruger is earning his keep now and the lady folks in my family are keeping an eye on me.

Sorry to vent, just hold you love ones close as we have no promise of tomorrow...

Be safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
Wow man. Sorry you are going through all of this. Hang tough.
 
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#355
#355
CopperHead_Vol said:
If anyone cares, I'm back...

Off line since last fall... My sweet wife was diagnosed in early Oct with stage-4 cancer. It had spread to pancreas, liver and gallbladder. She had not been well for a while, she thought it was a gallbladder issue and had put it off due to the Covid crap and her doc retiring. Lost her on 11/22, 3 days after her first Chemo treatment.

I've struggled with serious PTSD and social anxiety since my early twenties. I was fubar when I met her 20yrs back but she loved me in spite of the hell I was in and put her through early on. She was my angel who healed me and kept my demons at bay. Went to the ER that night and came back to our isolated farm alone. It about literally ended me... Being at the farm alone is the cruelest of situations and I am still struggling daily, but my service dog Ruger is earning his keep now and the lady folks in my family are keeping an eye on me.

Sorry to vent, just hold you love ones close as we have no promise of tomorrow...

Be safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...

No words man. No words for this. Breaks my heart. Prayers are with you.
 
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#356
#356
CopperHead_Vol said:
If anyone cares, I'm back...

Off line since last fall... My sweet wife was diagnosed in early Oct with stage-4 cancer. It had spread to pancreas, liver and gallbladder. She had not been well for a while, she thought it was a gallbladder issue and had put it off due to the Covid crap and her doc retiring. Lost her on 11/22, 3 days after her first Chemo treatment.

I've struggled with serious PTSD and social anxiety since my early twenties. I was fubar when I met her 20yrs back but she loved me in spite of the hell I was in and put her through early on. She was my angel who healed me and kept my demons at bay. Went to the ER that night and came back to our isolated farm alone. It about literally ended me... Being at the farm alone is the cruelest of situations and I am still struggling daily, but my service dog Ruger is earning his keep now and the lady folks in my family are keeping an eye on me.

Sorry to vent, just hold you love ones close as we have no promise of tomorrow...

Be safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
Prayers up, CH_V.
 
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#357
#357
CopperHead_Vol said:
If anyone cares, I'm back...

Off line since last fall... My sweet wife was diagnosed in early Oct with stage-4 cancer. It had spread to pancreas, liver and gallbladder. She had not been well for a while, she thought it was a gallbladder issue and had put it off due to the Covid crap and her doc retiring. Lost her on 11/22, 3 days after her first Chemo treatment.

I've struggled with serious PTSD and social anxiety since my early twenties. I was fubar when I met her 20yrs back but she loved me in spite of the hell I was in and put her through early on. She was my angel who healed me and kept my demons at bay. Went to the ER that night and came back to our isolated farm alone. It about literally ended me... Being at the farm alone is the cruelest of situations and I am still struggling daily, but my service dog Ruger is earning his keep now and the lady folks in my family are keeping an eye on me.

Sorry to vent, just hold you love ones close as we have no promise of tomorrow...

Be safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
So sorry to hear that. Please know we'll sincerely keep you in our prayers.
 
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#362
#362
Behr said:
Hate to hear this Copperhead, I'll definitely pray for your comfort through this difficult time. I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer just a little over 4 months after being diagnosed. That's some hateful stuff and I feel for you.

Most of us in the Zone will always "listen" when stuff like this hits one of us and you're always welcome to vent. We sometimes may not know what to say, but we'll always listen.

You're welcome anytime.
Click to expand...

I appreciate everyone's kind words and much needed prayers....

Behr, this post was literally the first time I spoke with anyone about this or verbalized the circumstances / situation. As I mentioned, the ladies in the family are checking in but I do not talk about anything. They all know I am struggling and frequently crashing hard.

I did find out from family that my sweet wife reached out to my sister, daughters and first wife working with them to address what I would need to stay grounded and to try and go on without her. They basically babysit my wild-eyed ass, trying to keep me from self-destructing (with limited results). They are all angels but it is so tiring trying to not act how I really feel.

Be Safe,

CH_V
 
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#363
#363
CopperHead_Vol said:
I appreciate everyone's kind words and much needed prayers....

Behr, this post was literally the first time I spoke with anyone about this or verbalized the circumstances / situation. As I mentioned, the ladies in the family are checking in but I do not talk about anything. They all know I am struggling and frequently crashing hard.

I did find out from family that my sweet wife reached out to my sister, daughters and first wife working with them to address what I would need to stay grounded and to try and go on without her. They basically babysit my wild-eyed ass, trying to keep me from self-destructing (with limited results). They are all angels but it is so tiring trying to not act how I really feel.

Be Safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...

So many things to deal with in death from all sides. People that care about you don't know what to do. You need time alone but don't need to be left alone. You want to talk but hate to "bother" anyone. Others want to listen but can't without offering their opinion that's usually unwanted at the time.

Anyway, I believe in prayer and I've prayed for you and your family. I'll continue too. What's your first name, if you don't mind me asking.
 
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#364
#364
Behr said:
So many things to deal with in death from all sides. People that care about you don't know what to do. You need time alone but don't need to be left alone. You want to talk but hate to "bother" anyone. Others want to listen but can't without offering their opinion that's usually unwanted at the time.

Anyway, I believe in prayer and I've prayed for you and your family. I'll continue too. What's your first name, if you don't mind me asking.
Click to expand...


Sounds like you have walked this same path.... I actually shocked myself rereading what I originally posted. Heck we did not even share anything with family about her diagnosis until the very end.

I need all the prayer I can get... my old demons are back in spades but also the trauma of the helplessness / loss and the slow motion train wreck my sweet wife went through is daunting. Days are rough, nights are a living hell...

My wife squared me away, got me tamed a bit and in church. It really changed my life for the better. I welcome all the prayers I can get. My name is Shannon, as in a 300lb bearded Highlander... not a bulimic runway model....

I really appreciate all of you, now let's get back to trashing each other before Joe starts giving out those awkward hugs again....

Be Safe,

CH_V
 
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#365
#365
CopperHead_Vol said:
Sounds like you have walked this same path.... I actually shocked myself rereading what I originally posted. Heck we did not even share anything with family about her diagnosis until the very end.

I need all the prayer I can get... my old demons are back in spades but also the trauma of the helplessness / loss and the slow motion train wreck my sweet wife went through is daunting. Days are rough, nights are a living hell...

My wife squared me away, got me tamed a bit and in church. It really changed my life for the better. I welcome all the prayers I can get. My name is Shannon, as in a 300lb bearded Highlander... not a bulimic runway model....

I really appreciate all of you, now let's get back to trashing each other before Joe starts giving out those awkward hugs again....

Be Safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
It's not out of the norm here in the Zone for someone to post they lost someone, ask for prayers and tell everyone to have sex with themselves all in the same post.

It's not required but I like having a real name when praying for someone. I like to use examples as to why. It's uncomfortable to request prayer at prayer meeting for Buckfama, Weezer and TheFallGheyboy.
 
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#366
#366
CopperHead_Vol said:
Sounds like you have walked this same path.... I actually shocked myself rereading what I originally posted. Heck we did not even share anything with family about her diagnosis until the very end.

I need all the prayer I can get... my old demons are back in spades but also the trauma of the helplessness / loss and the slow motion train wreck my sweet wife went through is daunting. Days are rough, nights are a living hell...

My wife squared me away, got me tamed a bit and in church. It really changed my life for the better. I welcome all the prayers I can get. My name is Shannon, as in a 300lb bearded Highlander... not a bulimic runway model....

I really appreciate all of you, now let's get back to trashing each other before Joe starts giving out those awkward hugs again....

Be Safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
Shannon, death is tough. You have emotions and feelings that you (at least feel like) you can’t relate to anyone, and like Behr said, you don’t want to bother anyone nor do most people know what to tell you. The cliches are nice, and I know in my experiences I feel like people were genuine with their concern and sincerity, but it feels somewhat hollow nonetheless. I still struggle all the time with people close to me that I’ve lost, and for many of them it’s been 10-20 years since they left. I can’t fathom losing someone like what your wife obviously meant to you. Just know I’ll continue praying for strength and comfort for you. I wish I could/knew how to do more for you. We’ll gladly lend a ear anytime you need one in order to keep those demons away.
 
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#367
#367
volfanbill said:
Shannon, death is tough. You have emotions and feelings that you (at least feel like) you can’t relate to anyone, and like Behr said, you don’t want to bother anyone nor do most people know what to tell you. The cliches are nice, and I know in my experiences I feel like people were genuine with their concern and sincerity, but it feels somewhat hollow nonetheless. I still struggle all the time with people close to me that I’ve lost, and for many of them it’s been 10-20 years since they left. I can’t fathom losing someone like what your wife obviously meant to you. Just know I’ll continue praying for strength and comfort for you. I wish I could/knew how to do more for you. We’ll gladly lend a ear anytime you need one in order to keep those demons away.
Click to expand...

Thank you brother... I do need the prayers. I do not talk about my past but can say the dark shadows of loss, death, events, engagements and my actions/regrets had me completely FUBAR by my late twenties. She and my father were the only persons I have ever opened up too and could somewhat keep me grounded. Lost dad 8yrs back (he died in my arms), went rogue for months before the wife found me and reeled me back in. I have almost tipped a number of times since losing her. She set a family support structure that helps and made me promise to try but without her I have reverted back to a very familiar, dangerous self-destructive place.

Think I am done talking about all this... I appreciate everyone's compassion and prayers but I keep things buried deep for a reason.

Be Safe,

CH_V
 
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#368
#368
CopperHead_Vol said:
Thank you brother... I do need the prayers. I do not talk about my past but can say the dark shadows of loss, death, events, engagements and my actions/regrets had me completely FUBAR by my late twenties. She and my father were the only persons I have ever opened up too and could somewhat keep me grounded. Lost dad 8yrs back (he died in my arms), went rogue for months before the wife found me and reeled me back in. I have almost tipped a number of times since losing her. She set a family support structure that helps and made me promise to try but without her I have reverted back to a very familiar, dangerous self-destructive place.

Think I am done talking about all this... I appreciate everyone's compassion and prayers but I keep things buried deep for a reason.

Be Safe,

CH_V
Click to expand...
Then let’s talk about fun things, things we can all appreciate and enjoy. What’s your thoughts on the upcoming season? Do you have faith in Heupel and crew to get us going in the right direction? Who do you think will be our day 1 starting qb? Will he still be starter in November? What are you most looking forward to this season?

And finally, will joe and tfg ever not be complete and total weirdos?
 
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#371
#371
CopperHead_Vol said:
Figure I would add a pic since a lot of other folks had.

The reason that I am squinty eyed and listing to port is due to being about 1/2 way into a quart of untaxed corn.


View attachment 131028


Just don't show your lady folks. I don't need another poon stampede overrunning the farm.... Wife had a few harsh words last time that happened....

Be Safe...

CH_V
Click to expand...
Classic!
 
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#372
#372
volfanbill said:
Then let’s talk about fun things, things we can all appreciate and enjoy. What’s your thoughts on the upcoming season? Do you have faith in Heupel and crew to get us going in the right direction? Who do you think will be our day 1 starting qb? Will he still be starter in November? What are you most looking forward to this season?

And finally, will joe and tfg ever not be complete and total weirdos?
Click to expand...

Wait, we got a new coach? what happened to Cornbread? (serious question)

If weirdo was a religion folks would take 100 mile pilgrimages up a mountain to bask in the hallowed glory that is Joe and tfg...

CH_V
 
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#375
#375
CopperHead_Vol said:
Wait, we got a new coach? what happened to Cornbread? (serious question)

If weirdo was a religion folks would take 100 mile pilgrimages up a mountain to bask in the hallowed glory that is Joe and tfg...

CH_V
Click to expand...
Fires with cause (and I don’t check often, but last I knew, the fire with cause hadn’t been challenged). Giving recruits lots of money got him and potentially the school in trouble. So enter Josh Heupel (former Okie qb, former UCF coach). Fulmer is gone too and the new AD seems to be the real deal.

And Joe and TFG can’t help themselves. I ain’t gonna judge those weirdos though. They welcome here just like you.
 
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