Official Women of Montana Grizzlies thread

#253
#253
shoulder+pads+girl.jpg
 
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#259
#259
Ashley Schaeffer said:
Nice story, pard.

It reminds me of a time back in high school when I secured a date with Becky Nelson, the school's prettiest debate team captain. When I picked her up in my daddy's 1959 Impala, her daddy invited me in for a shot of spirits. As we toasted, he reached down and pulled out a sawed off, double-barreled 12 gauge and pressed it into my nether regions. With my crotch sweat ruining the barrel blue, he told me, "If you don't make sweet, passionate love to my daughter tonight, I won't shoot your satchel off." I should have listened. Two days later, I heard a rapping at my screen door. Sure as a duck's rear smells, her daddy showed up with his trusty firearm, freshly blued. I leaped as he fired, and only suffered a 50% loss. I was able to roll away while he reloaded. I grabbed my Civil War bayonet and ran out the back door into the ravine behind our house. After I eluded Becky's crazed sire and stitched myself up with old bailing wire, I hid out in the wilderness for the next six months. When I came back into civilization, it was as if nothing had ever happened. Until one day when I went back over to Becky's house and saw the 50% that I had lost in a glass case on the coffee table. Her daddy smiled, welcomed me back, and said that he had cut the chances of a bad outcome in half. He wasn't very good at science.
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holy ****, that's an epic post.
 
#269
#269
Scotty's Flat Top said:
No offense pard but I'd rather not hear stories about your ball sack.

But hey different strokes for different pards
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Sure, ostensibly, the tale may have been about the scrotum of a scared teenager, pard. However, I figured that everyone could readily see that the story was really about the fall of ancient Rome and simply used a young scrotum as a conduit to make real message more concrete. In hindsight, I may have been incorrect. It seems that some got it and others did not.
 
#272
#272
Ashley Schaeffer said:
Sure, ostensibly, the tale may have been about the scrotum of a scared teenager, pard. However, I figured that everyone could readily see that the story was really about the fall of ancient Rome and simply used a young scrotum as a conduit to make real message more concrete. In hindsight, I may have been incorrect. It seems that some got it and others did not.
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You lost me at scrotum pard...

I can see the comparison of Ancient Rome and the losing of a testicle to be compared to that of a young Eunuch in Roman society to your particularly unique case pard, but not so much the downfall of Roman Society in general. But hey lets not split hairs here pard

ps... probably shouldn't use a young mans scrotum as conduit to anything... as society as a whole frowns upon that... pard
 
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#273
#273
Ashley Schaeffer said:
I hear you there, pard. Hell, I can only think of a few things that might be wrong with 'em, but none are very serious. Minor stuff like increased risk of: heart disease and stroke; high blood pressure; type II diabetes; cancer; gallbladder disease and gallstones; osteoarthritis; gout; sleep apnea; and asthma.
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Hell, I am not going to marry her.
 
#274
#274
Scotty's Flat Top said:
You lost me at scrotum pard
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Oh, now I'm startin' to understand, pard. You're not alone, a lot of fellas get all starry-eyed with imagery of the male anatomy. Hell, back in Winston-Salem, I was asleep in the dormitory one night when a few of the fellas thought it might be a good idea to have ol' Frank eat a gross of tacos and laxatives, and then go ahead and unleash the hounds all over my sleepin' body.

I woke just in time to see the business end of ol' Frank's digestive system starin' me down like a damned Taiwanese prize fighter just before the bell. I rolled out of the rack just as the back pressure and gravity sent the soft serve on its way to my Egyptian cotton. I made my way out into the hallway where it became apparent that the fury of Frank's bowel I had just witnessed on the interior of my room was but a small encore. As I made my way through the waste, feelin' like a cross between a proud soldier in the bunker and a scared gator in the sewer, I came upon the feet of Bertha B. Fleshman, our dormitory director. She ended up blamin' the entire escapade on me, and I was sentenced to ensuring the environmental compliance of the hallway inside of 4 hours. To comply, I recruited a few youths who were in town from Tuscaloosa for a volleyball game. They were decent workers, but didn't seem to understand what was so unclean about the hallway. Hell, I guess I'm just tryin' to say that I too have been confused and amazed at the capabilities of a male's nethers, pard.
 
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