Official Make Fun Of Florida Thread

#1

governmentmule

as always Go Lady Vols :clapping:
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#1
why did the Gator cross the road?

Because it's easier than crossing the goal line

Did you hear about the Gators found frozen in a car at the drive-in movie in January?
They went to see "Closed for Winter".


What's the difference between a Gator and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.

what did the UF graduate say to the UT graduate?
"You want fries with that?"

what do tornadoes and UF grads have in common?
They both always end up in trailer parks!

There was a couple who were getting divorced, so the judge said to the child, "Who do you want to live with? Do you want to live with your Dad?" "No," said the child, "he beats me." "Do you want to live with your Mom?" "No, she beats me too." "Well who do you want to live with?" "I want to live with a Gator Fan." Confused, the judge asked, "Why?" The child replied, "Because they never beat anybody that's good!"


If you have a car containing a Gator wide receiver, a Gator linebacker, and a Gator defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop

.A lady goes into a bar and sees a Gator fan with his feet propped up on a table...
He has the biggest boots she has ever seen. The woman asks the Gator fan is it true what they say about men with big feet?

The Gator fan says, "Sure is, why don't you come back to my place and let me prove it?"

The woman figures why not and spends the night with him. The next morning she hands the Gator fan a $100.00 bill. Blushing, he says, "I'm flattered, nobody has ever paid me for my services before."

To this the woman replies, "Well, don't be. Take this money and buy yourself some boots that fit."



Three SEC Football fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female, drunk and passed out.

Out of respect and propriety, the Tennessee fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Alabama fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Florida fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Tennessee cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Alabama cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Florida cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time.

The Florida fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"

"Well," said the officer, "I am simply surprised; normally when I look under a Florida hat, I find an a$$ hole
 
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#4

governmentmule

as always Go Lady Vols :clapping:
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#4
What happens when a Florida fan takes Viagra?
He gets taller

A little boy and his mother were walking in a cemetery when they came
upon a headstone that read “Here lies a Florida graduate and an honest man.”
The little boy asked, “Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?”


Why do Florida football players like smart women?
Opposites attract.

Q: What does the average Florida player get on his S.A.T.?
A: Drool.

Q: How do you get a Florida graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What are the longest three years of a Florida football player’s life?
A: His freshman year.

Q. How many Florida fans does it take to make popcorn?
A. Over 100. One to hold the pan, three to shake the stove,
one to hide the bong as the police arrive and the rest to complain
that they missed the recruiting party.

Did you hear about the Florida linebacker who stole a police car?
He saw “911″ on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

Did you hear about the new honor system at Florida?
Yes, your Honor. No, your Honor.

The Florida players are so lucky. When they go Christmas shopping
for their mother, girlfriend and sister they only have to buy one gift

Q: What is the difference between a Florida cheerleader and a catfish?
A: One has whiskers and smells; the other is a fish.

Q: What do Florida fans call it when a referee throws a game?
A: Saturday

Q: Why do Florida fans like to have sex with the lights off?
A: So it won’t run down the battery in the pickup.

Did you hear about the Florida fan who was injured in a pie eating contest?
A cow stepped on him.

I know,they are tacky,but what the hell :)
 
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#5

SuperDave

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#5
How do you separate the men from the boys in Gainesville?
Restraining order


What is the difference between a car full of gator fans and a porcupine?
Porcupine has the pricks on the outside
 
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