The Grude News, the midday edition. For those just tuning in.
Well, no news can be good news to an extent. Since his mega planet killing asteroid strike yesterday, Atlanta hasn't been very chatty. Not that we expected it as he's been trying to figure out which fork to use at the bigwig dinner last night and wants to know why he got three forks when he can just wipe off one with the tablecloth and continue eating. Emily Post probably ate up a lot of his bandwidth last night, hence, why he didn't post.
Regardless, between the time of his post and the meetings yesterday, something happened. Which we could assume was a good thing since the Neyland renovations went through without a hitch. You'd imagine some inner fighting if Currie was about to hire some no name Sun Belt coach and donations drying up. Not the case.
Swain seemed to be happy this morning. He's been full on Grude since this insanity started. Or as a minimum, a splash hire coach. Don't know if he knows something we don't, but it's like he hit the Mega Millions and $1B Powerball in the same week. I'll take that.
I'd say some of the news coming out of the meetings today could help clarify some stuff. Nothing specific, but could provide some nuggets to help tie things together.
We have determined an escape room turns into a "I really don't want to" escape room if Volly is trapped with Sam Elliott.
And we have entered the initial stages of the Great BBQ War of 2017. Sides are being picked and nobody will sit this one out. It's going to get medieval before it's over.
Duck continues to impress with his pragmatic thoughts and breakdown on the coaching search.
However, allegedly there was a stalemate this morning. No further information on that.
And somehow, we got onto a hairless cat pic spree. It got a little weird after that. Not that hairless cats aren't weird enough as it is.
Jimmy Hyams claims to have received copies of the resignation email sent by former VFL Coordinator Antone Davis. The emails claim he was subjected to constant intimidation, bullying and mental abuse from Jones. In another email to Currie: I want you to know that I am not leaving Tennessee because I want to, Davis wrote in the email. I am leaving because I must. My biggest regret and fear is that I am leaving behind student-athletes and co-workers that may be subjected to the same treatment I have received.
Just wow if that's the case. Very telling to the state of the program.
In other news today, Freak was in negotiations with Boeing for an enhanced "sky yacht" 747 conversion for use to get to and from the Grude 1 yacht. When informed by Boeing engineers it would be impossible, potentially unwise and certainly unsafe for them to both put in a full lower deck hot tub, upper deck tailgating area and add luxury seating, Freak sent in Corporate Negotiator Preacher Webb who immediately started putting people "on the list" as well as Corporate Bouncer Ape who had choice words to say.
Engineers also stated it would be "impossible" for any 747 to land on the Grude 1 yacht as there is not enough landing space. Said "you're going to need a bigger boat." Freak's associates have been in contact with Newport News Shipbuilding to modify Grude 1 with a landing strip next to the franchised Waffle House and Krystal Burger.
From the entire Volnation News Team, I'm Grand Vol and My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get..
(All information herein is specifically parody unless otherwise indicated by real posters or events)