Official Jon Gruden thread XLI

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#476
#476
Real question: after hiring from LA Tech and Cinci, folks think UT will hire a dude making 7+ million that works 60 days a year to work in a pressure cooker for the same money at 364 days a year?
 
#477
#477
TNJOKER said:
.. it has something to do with a Latin word and Beaver going to college at MIT. I think it's a group more than anything.
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beaverfinal1.png
 
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#478
#478
After much lurking and reading threads, I have to say I believe it's not going to be Gruden. It is going to be some rinky dink coach that doesn't excite anyone, and causes me to ignore UT football for another decade.

At least the basketball team is looking good.
 
#483
#483
rkvdg said:
you grud or not
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Of course, why do you think I'm here? I'm a simple UT grad that took a co-op position at Honeywell in Clearwater, FL right as Gruden won the Super Bowl. There was so much positive energy surrounding the Bucs at that time that it was infectious all over Tampa/St. Pete/Clearwater. Hell, the Lightning wound up winning a Stanley Cup while I was down there--and I wound up going to a Finals game that solidified my love of that sport too. I'm all in on UT, Gruden, and Preds/Lightning.
 
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#488
#488
This is an old story that has cracked me up for years... But I decided to take a little liberty with it given we need a little humor while we wait on the official Gruden announcement.


Butch's Bricklayer Accident Report...

This is Butch's bricklaying accident report that was summited upon his firing.

Dear AD Currie:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the lost football game reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my record. You asked for a fuller explanation, and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the Georgia beat down, I was working alone on the roof of our six-story stadium. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 500 lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the upper deck.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 500 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is roughly 225 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the stadium.

In the vicinity of the third level, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the stadium. In the vicinity of the third level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel several stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.
 
#493
#493
This next Currie presser is gonna be a must see event, unless it's Mike Bobo or Mullen or someone, and if that's the case I'm gonna cry and contact eBay and sell all my orange or near orange, or even faded orange stuff.
 
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#494
#494
Breaking News, Hyams reporting:

"A grand new pyramid has been completed in Giza to be the burial site of Khufu, the Pharaoh of Egypt. The largest of its kind in the world, it will house the Pharaoh upon his death and have the security to protect the leader's body so his time in the afterlife will go undisturbed. According to Khufu's builder, 'this will be the most secure tomb of all time, no one will ever be able to break into it with all of the state of the art security features we have installed'. Khufu is said to be pleased with his engineering marvel and expects that it will soon be placed on the list as one of the wonders of the world."
 
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#495
#495
Orange&White said:
Beaver said ESPN would break this story, so if the announcement is next Tuesday/Wednesday and we have not heard anything that's probably not a good sign.
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Fortunately the lies being bought in this thread are from a college student selling false Gruden hope and not a Nigerian swindling the life savings of some of the gullible people in here.
 
#496
#496
mbushnell said:
After much lurking and reading threads, I have to say I believe it's not going to be Gruden. It is going to be some rinky dink coach that doesn't excite anyone, and causes me to ignore UT football for another decade.

At least the basketball team is looking good.
Click to expand...

Get The Fu(k Out
 
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