Official Jon Gruden Thread 33

[G8rh8r]

Beaver announced he had a surprise for us last Tuesday, the 7th, and it would be a couple of weeks. I don’t think we hear anything til next week.

I hope it’s earlier, but following the beaver droppings, I’d say next Thursday.

 

[Grand Vol]

The Grude News, the morning edition. For those just joining us...

Well, first official press conference without FORMER Coach Lyle Allen "Butch" Jones at the podium. I'm pretty sure the entire room felt a little uncomfortable sitting there with their Butch Bingo cards ready to go and Hoke walks up without using any catch phrases. It actually went fairly well without having all kinds of crazy catch phrases. I did like his emphasis on the Seniors.

DTO stated many stories of Jones will come out this week as players and staff start to leak information about his time here. I doubt very seriously it's going to be flowery. As a matter of fact, it's kind of already started. And it's ugly. Probably going to get downright nasty by the time it's over.

Bubba brought the heat earlier on Currie's grin at the press conference yesterday. Stated it was a "smirk of concealment" rather than one of humor.

That's motivating for sure. I'm pretty sure the last time I trusted a man named Bubba, my wallet got stolen and I woke up missing a kidney. So, don't mess this one up, please.

DTO is hearing awesome things. But made the disclaimer he got burned before and "11th hour snags" blew it up. I can't say that I blame him, Boro and OV for being cautiously optimistic.

And speaking of optimistic, where is Slice? Hope all is well with Red. Sincerely mean that.

BCarter is like one foot on the train, one foot dragging the platform at the station. Gave validity to the house hunting rumors from a couple of weeks ago.

There seems to be universal approval for Currie calling recruits according to rumors out there. It speaks well he is trying to hold this class together.

Face is now famous (or infamous) for making a joke out of one of Ron Swanson's posts. Apparently, the 100% guaranteed insider status joke post went viral and even Swain thought it interesting. We do tend to get around pretty good. WTH? I have yet to be Tweeted and hell, I'm the news guy.

We had a nice Beaver shot last night. Seems as if he's always lurking. Said call him the "Mystic Beaver."

Columbia Vol noted that would make a dandy name for a strip club.

And Ape showed up not long afterwards demanding scotch. Not sure if he received his bottle of Macallan Fine and Rare 1955 from Beaver yet though.

Beaver continued to tease. It's not the first time Beaver has teased a bunch of folks.

Babyvol from TOS basically implied Thirsday might get interesting. We shall see.

In other news today, the actors doing the text to voice have reached a boiling level. Due to the fact many posts come on top of each other, actors and actresses kept walking over each other and are starting to squabble over it. Freak decided to offer the deck of the Grude 1 yacht as a floating amphitheater in a celebrity cage match for them to settle their differences. It will be a true tournament style battle with 68 spots in a bracket style single elimination.

Currently, Justin Beiber (voicing for Behr) is set for one of the wild card spots and is matched against a surprisingly spry Betty White (voicing for Catbone). The Beib is a solid 90 point underdog, though that number came down significantly from opening at 200 when Racist Joe went all in on his offshore bets for Beiber. And speaking of JoeVol33, his voice over, actor/artist Ice T, was scheduled for an old school rap versus an old school country showdown with Hank Williams Jr (voicing for Jake), but injuries sidelined the both of them. So, a random drawing was held in which Gal Gadot (voicing for SFD) and Blake Lively (voicing for Sara Clark) took their place.

However, a freak baby oil accident caused by a careless Simian stagehand who tripped and spilled ten gallons on the pair as they were starting to wrangle caused the ruckus to be put on hold for the moment. Referee Freak decided it was safer to allow the pair to clean up prior to continuing the match.

8,742 members of VN immediately lived up to the Tennessee nickname and volunteered to assist cleaning the pair after Official Freak called it off. Never before in Tennessee history have so many been willing to sacrifice so much for so few. John Currie was on board for an official tour and was asked for comment about the match up of the pair as well as the baby oil accident. However, he remained tight lipped and only gave us this:

From the entire Volnation News Team, I'm Grand Vol and he doesn't know it's a damn show, he thinks it's a damn fight!








(All information herein is specifically parody unless otherwise indicated by real posters or events)

 

[The Comb]

Long time listener, first time caller. Soon!

A+ user name

 

[StoVol]

Biggest news of the night is Ruck called me a snooty traitor.

I will smash his Whore mouth

 

[Volfan82]

Call in now and tell them they are wrong. Anyone can make that call after the fact.

People already have. I said if he is announced, I don't know for a fact that Gruden is coming here. I just find it mildly annoying that they're not even acknowledging some of the smoke that is visible. They're saying the same things that all the other trolls on here are, things like Gruden hasn't coached in 10 years or he made a statement over a year ago that he would be a bad college coach blah blah blah...

 

[Behr]

Now Behr, you gonna make me feel all special qouting me.

You are special.

 

[Volsfaninva917]

You believe this? Hopefully Gruden would do better than this. I'm not buying it

247 Reported this last night, Patrick Brown to be specific. 247 prides themselves on not reporting rumors, only fact. So if Patrick Brown is reporting this and 247 published it, then yes it is FACT. They also said it is FACT that Tee Martin has not been contacted by Jon Gruden

 

[VFLnSFD]

Beaver announced he had a surprise for us last Tuesday, the 7th, and it would be a couple of weeks. I don’t think we hear anything til next week.

I hope it’s earlier, but following the beaver droppings, I’d say next Thursday.

In context, though, he seemed he might have been talking about Daniela.

 

[Jake]

The Grude News, the morning edition. For those just joining us...

Well, first official press conference without FORMER Coach Lyle Allen "Butch" Jones at the podium. I'm pretty sure the entire room felt a little uncomfortable sitting there with their Butch Bingo cards ready to go and Hoke walks up without using any catch phrases. It actually went fairly well without having all kinds of crazy catch phrases. I did like his emphasis on the Seniors.

DTO stated many stories of Jones will come out this week as players and staff start to leak information about his time here. I doubt very seriously it's going to be flowery. As a matter of fact, it's kind of already started. And it's ugly. Probably going to get downright nasty by the time it's over.

Bubba brought the heat earlier on Currie's grin at the press conference yesterday. Stated it was a "smirk of concealment" rather than one of humor.

That's motivating for sure. I'm pretty sure the last time I trusted a man named Bubba, my wallet got stolen and I woke up missing a kidney. So, don't mess this one up, please.

DTO is hearing awesome things. But made the disclaimer he got burned before and "11th hour snags" blew it up. I can't say that I blame him, Boro and OV for being cautiously optimistic.

And speaking of optimistic, where is Slice? Hope all is well with Red. Sincerely mean that.

BCarter is like one foot on the train, one foot dragging the platform at the station. Gave validity to the house hunting rumors from a couple of weeks ago.

There seems to be universal approval for Currie calling recruits according to rumors out there. It speaks well he is trying to hold this class together.

Face is now famous (or infamous) for making a joke out of one of Ron Swanson's posts. Apparently, the 100% guaranteed insider status joke post went viral and even Swain thought it interesting. We do tend to get around pretty good. WTH? I have yet to be Tweeted and hell, I'm the news guy.

We had a nice Beaver shot last night. Seems as if he's always lurking. Said call him the "Mystic Beaver."

Columbia Vol noted that would make a dandy name for a strip club.

And Ape showed up not long afterwards demanding scotch. Not sure if he received his bottle of Macallan Fine and Rare 1955 from Beaver yet though.

Beaver continued to tease. It's not the first time Beaver has teased a bunch of folks.

Babyvol from TOS basically implied Thirsday might get interesting. We shall see.

In other news today, the actors doing the text to voice have reached a boiling level. Due to the fact many posts come on top of each other, actors and actresses kept walking over each other and are starting to squabble over it. Freak decided to offer the deck of the Grude 1 yacht as a floating amphitheater in a celebrity cage match for them to settle their differences. It will be a true tournament style battle with 68 spots in a bracket style single elimination.

Currently, Justin Beiber (voicing for Behr) is set for one of the wild card spots and is matched against a surprisingly spry Betty White (voicing for Catbone). The Beib is a solid 90 point underdog, though that number came down significantly from opening at 200 when Racist Joe went all in on his offshore bets for Beiber. And speaking of JoeVol33, his voice over, actor/artist Ice T, was scheduled for an old school rap versus an old school country showdown with Hank Williams Jr (voicing for Jake), but injuries sidelined the both of them. So, a random drawing was held in which Gal Gadot (voicing for SFD) and Blake Lively (voicing for Sara Clark) took their place.

However, a freak baby oil accident caused by a careless Simian stagehand who tripped and spilled ten gallons on the pair as they were starting to wrangle caused the ruckus to be put on hold for the moment. Referee Freak decided it was safer to allow the pair to clean up prior to continuing the match.

8,742 members of VN immediately lived up to the Tennessee nickname and volunteered to assist cleaning the pair after Official Freak called it off. Never before in Tennessee history have so many been willing to sacrifice so much for so few. John Currie was on board for an official tour and was asked for comment about the match up of the pair as well as the baby oil accident. However, he remained tight lipped and only gave us this:

From the entire Volnation News Team, I'm Grand Vol and he doesn't know it's a damn show, he thinks it's a damn fight!








(All information herein is specifically parody unless otherwise indicated by real posters or events)

Great stuff, as usual!

 

[m1al]

I totally agree.....he’s changed a lot lately and it certainly is getting old....

Carrying water for Butch to stay 'in the fold' has got to have a negative effect on you......

 

[VolForLife83]

Y'all, I want Gruden as bad as anyone, butt if we've been in touch with Kacy Rogers, Gruden is not a done deal. Or probably even possible


https://www.google.com/amp/www.nydailynews.com/amp/sports/football/jets/u-tennessee-interested-jets-kacy-rodgers-head-coach-article-1.3629554

 

[vols72]

What was the context

Not sure.... Just found it interesting

 

[volfannbama]

I too have earned my stripes.
If Gruden does get named head coach ( which we have just as much reason to believe in as contrarians do, not to believe)
Will you be man enough to admit you were wrong?

If you are refering to me, heck yeah. I think he would do a great job here. Just needs tobe surrounded with a solid staff that understand the difference between college and nfl (recruiting rules, dealing with parents, limited practice etc). Which im sure his rep would allow him to assemble such a staff.

If Currie can pull it off good on him, i just dont think it happens.

 

[RikidyBones]

247 Reported this last night, Patrick Brown to be specific. 247 prides themselves on not reporting rumors, only fact. So if Patrick Brown is reporting this and 247 published it, then yes it is FACT. They also said it is FACT that Tee Martin has not been contacted by Jon Gruden

Jons agent could have done the contacting

 

[Rocky Top Raby]

The fact is most of us want Gruden to be true, but we were here in 2012.

Also this was my house long before it was yours, and if I want to piss all over your dinner I will.

"I wont let you piss on tradition"

 

[SobeVol]

Sobe apologies man I like you didn’t mean to come off as a prick. I’m an ass when I first wake up .. I have covfefe now

Sto,
No apology needed
My reply to you was just joking around.
The last was for our pompous leatherneck who is just trying to look tough.
I think he forgot if you don’t like the food on the menu? You have the option of other restaurants. To feel the need to belittle the patrons is immature self aggrandizement.

Truth is nothing new, but soon!

 

[preacherwebb]

I need to find an app or something for that.

the swain event

EDIT: nevermind

 

[Volsfaninva917]

Jons agent could have done the contacting

I'm going to say this one more time, Jon's agent would have NOTHING to do with his assistant pool.

 

[Doyle Hargraves]

70%

 

[Devo182]

Did the question of a coaching future come up at all last night during MNF? Anyone know?

Negative afaik.

2 "things" happened

1) usual "watch to see if he wears orange tie" came up. Blue tie.

2) post-game with SVP - he told Gruden cant wait till next weeks game and Grude looked down and said a quick goodbye. Body language people would say this tends to mean you are concealing something or do not agree with what is being said.

 

[The Comb]

Y'all, I want Gruden as bad as anyone, butt if we've been in touch with Kacy Rogers, Gruden is not a done deal. Or probably even possible


U. Tennessee interested in Jets' Kacy Rodgers for head coach - NY Daily News

Unless it’s a smokescreen and Gruden is contacting Rodgers for DC. Alternatively, it could just be the university covering their bases even if they have their man already.

 

[knucklehead_vol]

I know..now Dirty D hangs out with all the snooty sophisticated folks in the day shift..traitor to his kind that one is..

Hey 3rd shifter. There are some scally wags waiting for you in another thread. Doyle is one of us ****er....


GTFO

 

[Paukotajs]

What’s the most prick thing I can say to stir up a hornets nest so everyone will quote me so I can feel like the center of attention?

Pick a random quote from volfannbama.

 

[Orange_Crush]

I think you’ve got your man bun pulled too tight and it’s affecting brain activity.

Yes. Obviously I'm the one who didn't put much thought into their post. Thanks for the help. Cheers.

 

[FacelessArya]

The fact is most of us want Gruden to be true, but we were here in 2012.

Also this was my house long before it was yours, and if I want to piss all over your dinner I will.

Haha,

That’s where you’re wrong. You have been here at VN longer than me, but this thread ain’t your house.