Official Jon Gruden Thread 30

[Hawkpilot]

I don't remember him referring to bentons.

No, it was just mentioned and took on it's lore in this thread.

 

[Dudleys87]

The one with 13 TD's, 10 INT's and a 57% completion rate?

As opposed to any of the 3 currently at Tennessee?
They’re setting the world on fire, right?

 

[Volbrando]

I think what I’m most excited about in a Gruden hire (besides winning) is the absurd number of epic hype videos

and chucky dolls sold

 

[UTVolinExile]

I play Pokémon with my kids. Got to find ways to connect with your children. Mine are 13 and 10. They love Pokémon so dad takes an interest. My pops was a s***ty father so in an effort to be a good dad, I try to stay involved in what my boys are doing. I try to be a father, a friend, and a mentor. They know at times dad has to play disciplinarian as well.

Ignore the Poke-Haters Sarge.

 

[SeanJean]

How many SEC Title games has he been to? Zero. We played them in that game in 98, when Sherrill coached them and they had a really good team.

Dude. He is in the same division as Alabama. Be realistic. They have been to the SEC Title game almost every year he has been at MSU. That's nonsense.

 

[VFLnSFD]

No, it was just mentioned and took on it's lore in this thread.

You need to be prepared though that it doesn't taste like the bacon you're used to.

 

[VFL92]

if Gruden did accept offer and Vols lose to Missouri then fire Butch on Sunday and name interim. Hire Gruden on Tuesday. The excitement level from the fans feeds to the players and they beat LSU and Vandy.

Don't expect that to happen. Butch is here until the end of the season, or after 7 losses at the earliest. Don't play this narrative out in your mind. It'll only cause you to cheer against the Vols.

Gruden is happening. Be patient.

 

[Hawkpilot]

You need to be prepared though that it doesn't taste like the bacon you're used to.

That's fine. I usually get all my beef/pork from my dad. He raises it.

 

[Godfatha]

I looked it up. They were ranked 7th per capita and one spot overall above Tennessee.

Per capita. That being said Mississippi doesn't have the population Tennessee does

 

[DaUndergroundMan]

such a Debbie Downer....he'll come around eventually along with some others that love crow !

Haha, he's the FF hall monitor.

He directs people to the Gruden thread like a cranky old constipated man yelling at kids taking a shortcut through his back yard, "Get off my lawn, theres the sidewalk, right next to the street, which is exactly where trash like you belongs, in the street, in a can, where you can be the city's problem, since your mother never...", shaking his fist, as the kids continue on their shortcut, waving at at ole man volfannbama.

It's funny cause he claims to never visit here, cause its where the trash belongs, so I decided to come here and talk about him, knowing he probably lurks like everybody.

Funny that someone beat me to it.

 

[BJWeeks]

and chucky dolls sold

Chucky going to come on jumbotron on 3rd down telling everyone to get loud

 

[Coastypop]

I am hearing that Gruden would a GREAT coach for Tennessee .... Just because he is!

 

[Dudleys87]

and chucky dolls sold

Up 1000% since the start of this thread

 

[Vols_14]

I am hearing that Gruden would a GREAT coach for Tennessee .... Just because he is!

Big if true

 

[revjayp]

Don't expect that to happen. Butch is here until the end of the season, or after 7 losses at the earliest. Don't play this narrative out in your mind. It'll only cause you to cheer against the Vols.

Gruden is happening. Be patient.

Man I don’t know who you are, but you bring a lot of calm to the hysteria. Appreciate what you bring. 👊

 

[chatt.vol]

Per capita means nothing in this case. This isn't income levels. This is how many D1 players a state produces. Who cares how many players a state produces per capita? The most talent comes out of Florida, Texas, California: States with big populations. Their per capita numbers are probably some of the lowest. That is a meaningless statistic in the grand scheme of things.

I guess you chose to ignore where I stated they also rank ahead of Tennessee in overall numbers as well.

 

[SergeantVol]

Ignore the Poke-Haters Sarge.

I will gladly take the ridicule if it means I get to connect with my sons.

 

[LakeMaryFLVol]

The Grude News, the morning edition. For those just joining us...

Well, we managed to make it like at least...a while without a catastrophic meltdown since the last update. Which is a good thing considering how regularly scheduled the crazy was the past few weeks. And of course, by saying that I probably invited the crazy to roll back in. My bad in advance.

I will hand it to the Beaver, he stepped up and helped Vols in need via this forum. Most places call that a righteous dude. Bravo sir. And it spurred additional posters stepping up to help those in need. Whether or not folks think us crazy for believing in the Gruden, we are a community that will help each other without hesitation.

Though the Night Shift has been slacking as of late. Only a hundred posts or so last night after midnight. Shame on you people. And you call yourselves Grudenites... We should get Escape Goat in here to teach you all how to do it. What's that? EG is missing too? Well, this is awkward...

Speaking of awkward. The whole ESPN truck thing just didn't pan out. Even truck drivers have to have a place to spend the night, folks. Let's dial the Hardy Boys adventures back juuuuuuust a tad. There's a fine line between fun and excessive creepy bunny boiler status. Some of ya'll are straddling that line.

We got onto a Pokemon Go conversation somehow. And it got slightly odd. We'll leave it at that, but I will say someone's mod campaign should be put on hold until it's determined if he's actually joking about being over 30 and playing Pokemon Go.

Last full day for Doyle's poor, battered Grudometer. It's already put out a Craigslist ad seeking a new home and promised to upgrade its announcement music to something other than the Spice Girls when Gruden is announced. The Grudometer has suggested possibly "counseling" and time apart without an official separation.

No real updates from any of our regular info sources. DTO, Boro, SC, Beaver and Atlanta have all gone into deep silence mode. From lack of info? Maybe. I'll remain positive and say "no news is good news" for the status of the hunt.

In other news today, it was announced voice overs for the forum posting will be put on indefinite hold due to the ongoing strike of actors contracted for the positions. Actor Samuel L. Jackson was quoted as saying "Why the **** does this stupid **** keep saying ****ing asterisk when I plainly ****ing say ****?!" Sandra Bullock, voicing for SmokingBob, was released from her contract for repeating "that gaudy orange is not in my color wheel" at the end of every post. Also, Gerard Butler was puzzled by his representation of Comb and having to use his King Leonidas voice for every post of "Gruden...to...the...Hill!"

Additionally, actors were complaining of harassment by several of their online counterparts. Justin Beiber made the statement "it's hard to get everything down right when that Behr guy is pounding on your door at all hours yelling 'I just wanna be friends! We can hang out!' It's not that I don't want this gig, but I really can't take that pressure." Additionally, James Earl Jones said his lines were "too bland" and asked why he was limited to only saying "You just made the list" in his Darth Vader voice for nearly every post.

Furthermore, Chris Hemsworth walked off the set when Volly and SFD were found violating their restraining orders and were discovered hiding behind potted plants with large cheesy grins. Security escorted the pair out of the studio, but not before noting "potted plants typically don't move under their own power from place to place nor do they giggle." Negotiations were ongoing and an additional battalion of security was ordered before the cost overrides put a hold on the project.

From the entire Volnation News Team, I'm Grand Vol and I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!








(All information herein is specifically parody unless otherwise indicated by real posters or events)

Awesome as always. Thank you

 

[bigmac]

Swain just implied that Cade decommitting is part of a bigger plan. Forcing UTs hand.

 

[wildorange]

GRUDEN to the HILL!!!!!! SOON ENOUGH!!!!!! GBO!!!!!!

 

[Chatt Vol]

Someone help. All the smoke is blinding me

 

[Dudleys87]

Don't expect that to happen. Butch is here until the end of the season, or after 7 losses at the earliest. Don't play this narrative out in your mind. It'll only cause you to cheer against the Vols.

Gruden is happening. Be patient.

Solid, I like it.

 

[Boca Vol]

When did this become the Mullen thread? Did I make a wrong turn when I logged in?

Dan Mullen can't even spell Spider 2 Y Banana!

 

[Dudleys87]

Swain just implied that Cade decommitting is part of a bigger plan. Forcing UTs hand.

Hmmm....

 

[UTVolinExile]

Don't expect that to happen. Butch is here until the end of the season, or after 7 losses at the earliest. Don't play this narrative out in your mind. It'll only cause you to cheer against the Vols.

Gruden is happening. Be patient.

Yep. Timing doesn't really matter at this point.