Official 5* Twitter Updates Thread

[theFallGuy]

My goal here is to be supplied with some 5* twitter updates. I know the Zone is a fountain of knowledge.

and...

Go.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

There is this hilarious guy I follow and he had this to say:

The unibrow for Davis is like Samson's hair. I vote we trim it at halftime and see if he plays the same.

 

[PoochPunt3rdDown]

For what exactly are you asking?

 

[NewToVolCountry]

The same dude said this while he was in Behavioral Neuroscience.

Waking up ten minutes before class is never a good idea. I'm learning about the brain processes and mine's not even working yet.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

This dude is hilarious. I love this tweet of his:

I wish my singing sounded as good as it does in my head.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

This idiot also wants to ride a bull. SMH!!!

#BucketList I want to ride a freakin bull someday.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Hahahahaa, this guy got shocked a few days ago.

I just got shocked unplugging my computer charger. That was a wild ride. My arm is still shaking.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

LOL he has good pick up lines imo

#SexualPickUpLines is that your chamber of secrets coz i wanna slytherin

 

[PoochPunt3rdDown]

Newt. Those are terrible.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Wow, this dude must be a hardass. He gives plasma just like me.

To the guy in the plasma office bragging about stealing a car and beating a cop with a bat, you are a piece of trash.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Haha, this is want he just tweeted!!!!!

Neil lurves the penis.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Here's another. He said it has 75% success rate.

#SexualPickUpLines If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Pretty sure my follower is an alcoholic too.

You know you have problems when you want to buy a breathalyzer and have a contest with your friends.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

I've been there, too, man

Pretty sure I'm just going to hide my phone from myself from now on. Drunk texts/tweets are the worst.

 

[PoochPunt3rdDown]

Seriously, what is humorous about any of those? They sound like something my dentist uncle would say.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Awww, he's a romantic

It's crazy how just a smile can make your day.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Seriously, what is humorous about any of those? They sound like something my dentist uncle would say.

haha, nothing most likely, but if I didn't post anything this dude's thread would have gotten no traffic. Now people can hate on me and try to best it.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

To be honest, you haven't had any good tweets either, hoss.

We both suck

 

[NewToVolCountry]

"Just sitting here & I busted out laughing at the times Ive come home and my parents made fun of my hangover. Im glad I can make myself laugh"

 

[PoochPunt3rdDown]

I remember you getting shocked pretty badly one time. Any chance you are "this guy"?

 

[rockyvols]

We didnt have any 5*s sign

 

[NewToVolCountry]

No, I would be funnier than this dude.

 

[ImTheCrew]

Stupid tweets newt.

 

[NewToVolCountry]

Here's my favorite tweet of all time!!!!

Tweet and retweet were on the fence. Tweet falls off; who's left?

 

[theFallGuy]

wtf. This is turning into a massive fail.