That's my fear, that I don't say to her, that her body won't be able to keep fighting. I see her struggle, and it's scary. She'll go do anything just because, but I've never seen anybody wear down that fast. Going out, exercise bike for 10 minutes, taking those treatments, literally anything, and she has to sleep afterwards. She gets so upset that she can't go to church, a swim meet, have special time, anything without feeling completely drained. Yet she still does everything she can, every day. I'm just worried all of this together will eventually get the best of her. I literally sit on a machine yesterday at work kinda thinking/praying, God what am I gonna do if this kills her? How do I tell the girls? Just stuff like that, It's gotten to me since I saw her output in the bag the other day. I want to literally be angry, but I know I've gotta watch myself for ger, and the kids. I try to talk about long term stuff, so she doesn't know I'm worried. Vacation this year, gping back to Idaho next year, etc. Even with that, she said she's afraid she won't be alive to go back. I mean, that's lije a kick in the nuts when she said that. I brush it off to her, but I literally have that fear. I hate to ramble again, just don't want to in front of her.
