Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#876
#876
Hey rmsmith a word to the wise from the unwise.

Cut the beer out for a while.

Best of luck buddy.
 
#880
#880
golfballs said:
Nobody ever goes into a marriage thinking they they will get a divorce. I'm sure people see that stat and say, well that won't be us. But half of those people end up getting divorced. Crazy to think about.
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I've been married 12 years to my wife. We almost got divorced a couple years ago but after separating for about 4 month we decided to start over and ended up falling in love with each other again.

It really doesn't surprise me that the divorce rate is this high. People change as the years go by. I ain't the same person I was 5 years ago and won't be who I am 5 years from now. I personally think the key to a long marriage is learning to fall in love with the one you married over and over again.

Me and my wife and closer now than we've ever been but a few years ago we barely even liked one another.
 
#881
#881
14 years today

We have had our ups and downs, but it has been worth every bit of it.
 
#882
#882
Been married a long time. Not perfect but we both love each other. Two way street the entire way.
 
#885
#885
What do you do when the two of you just simply change? We never fight and still share the same beliefs, interests, etc.

She knows 100% that she wants kids. I've done a complete 180 on the matter since getting married.
 
#886
#886
top-funny-marriage-quotes-53932.jpg
 
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#888
#888
Some comedian said once that marriage licenses should expire every few years or so and I wholeheartedly agree. It would certainly save people a lot of money and stress. Every so often your license expires and if you dont renew, all your assets are split (unless other contracts like a prenup are in place) and you go your separate ways.

Kind of like going into free agency, lol.

Or at least there should be a 2 year probationary period after marriage.
 
#889
#889
WooPigSooie said:
Some comedian said once that marriage licenses should expire every few years or so and I wholeheartedly agree. It would certainly save people a lot of money and stress. Every so often your license expires and if you dont renew, all your assets are split (unless other contracts like a prenup are in place) and you go your separate ways.

Kind of like going into free agency, lol.

Or at least there should be a 2 year probationary period after marriage.
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I'm surprised that governments haven't picked up on that. Marriage license have to be renewed every two years for more money in the coffers, or somebody's pocket. Marriage seems more and more like a business sometimes.
 
#890
#890
MSUDuo said:
What do you do when the two of you just simply change? We never fight and still share the same beliefs, interests, etc.

She knows 100% that she wants kids. I've done a complete 180 on the matter since getting married.
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Why wouldn't you expect change? Nobody goes through life without changing.

Here's the thing (not speaking specifically to you MSU), when you agree to marry someone you commit. There's a reason that word is used a lot in terms of marriage. You commit to living your life with the other person. The good times, the bad times, the blah blah boring times, the exciting times, the healthy times, the sick and scared times. When you get married, you say I'm yours and I'm there for you to protect you, support you, encourage you, help you, learn from you, lean on you, live my life with you. Love grows as a result of these things, not the other way around.

You can't control or change your spouse. You can only work on yourself. But if you're both committed, truly committed, when you say I do....it is the most spectacular feeling you can imagine. It is the most freeing, loving, secure environment to live a life you could ever dream of.
 
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#891
#891
MSUDuo said:
What do you do when the two of you just simply change? We never fight and still share the same beliefs, interests, etc.

She knows 100% that she wants kids. I've done a complete 180 on the matter since getting married.
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Deciding post-nuptual to not father your wife's children is a pretty big thing to pull a 180 on. You put her in a tough situation and deserve to be left.
 
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#892
#892
JonWard said:
Deciding post-nuptual to not father your wife's children is a pretty big thing to pull a 180 on. You put her in a tough situation and deserve to be left.
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Tell me about it. We're trying to figure out where it (the change in heart) is coming from but I just don't think I have an absolute desire to have kids anymore. Or at least for a long time.
 
#893
#893
vollygirl said:
Why wouldn't you expect change? Nobody goes through life without changing.

Here's the thing (not speaking specifically to you MSU), when you agree to marry someone you commit. There's a reason that word is used a lot in terms of marriage. You commit to living your life with the other person. The good times, the bad times, the blah blah boring times, the exciting times, the healthy times, the sick and scared times. When you get married, you say I'm yours and I'm there for you to protect you, support you, encourage you, help you, learn from you, lean on you, live my life with you. Love grows as a result of these things, not the other way around.

You can't control or change your spouse. You can only work on yourself. But if you're both committed, truly committed, when you say I do....it is the most spectacular feeling you can imagine. It is the most freeing, loving, secure environment to live a life you could ever dream of.
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I hear ya man. That's why this is so tough. Her parents just celebrated 35 years and my parents will celebrate 29 this summer. Divorce isn't in our vocab but obviously that might change if my feelings don't change back.

The only married friends I have have been married for less time than I have, hence why I figured I might ask here. Thanks guys
 
#894
#894
MSUDuo said:
I hear ya man. That's why this is so tough. Her parents just celebrated 35 years and my parents will celebrate 29 this summer. Divorce isn't in our vocab but obviously that might change if my feelings don't change back.

The only married friends I have have been married for less time than I have, hence why I figured I might ask here. Thanks guys
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How old are you? I don't really want kids at all but I will do it when my wife is ready. She is 29 and wants to try in a couple years.

It a little different out here though as people get married and have kids later than the south.

I was 28 when we got married and people out here thought it was really young.
 
#895
#895
MSUDuo said:
I hear ya man. That's why this is so tough. Her parents just celebrated 35 years and my parents will celebrate 29 this summer. Divorce isn't in our vocab but obviously that might change if my feelings don't change back.

The only married friends I have have been married for less time than I have, hence why I figured I might ask here. Thanks guys
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Do you ever tell each other you love each other?
 
#896
#896
vollygirl said:
Why wouldn't you expect change? Nobody goes through life without changing.

Here's the thing (not speaking specifically to you MSU), when you agree to marry someone you commit. There's a reason that word is used a lot in terms of marriage. You commit to living your life with the other person. The good times, the bad times, the blah blah boring times, the exciting times, the healthy times, the sick and scared times. When you get married, you say I'm yours and I'm there for you to protect you, support you, encourage you, help you, learn from you, lean on you, live my life with you. Love grows as a result of these things, not the other way around.

You can't control or change your spouse. You can only work on yourself. But if you're both committed, truly committed, when you say I do....it is the most spectacular feeling you can imagine. It is the most freeing, loving, secure environment to live a life you could ever dream of.
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Certainly, until the bottom falls (gets deliberately & intentionally ripped) out.

If anyone is getting divorced I'd recommend my wife's lawyer. With no hesitation.
 
#897
#897
Burger said:
Do you ever tell each other you love each other?
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You bet. We don't leave the house or go to bed without 3 things: a kiss, hug, and an ILY.

Like I said, we are rock solid on almost everything.

If you would've told me 3 years ago that I'd end up not wanting kids, I would've called you a liar.

I'm just looking to see if anyone else has been in my shoes. I'm not looking for a magical fix. At this point, only the good Lord knows where all this is headed.
 
#898
#898
MSUDuo said:
You bet. We don't leave the house or go to bed without 3 things: a kiss, hug, and an ILY.

Like I said, we are rock solid on almost everything.

If you would've told me 3 years ago that I'd end up not wanting kids, I would've called you a liar.

I'm just looking to see if anyone else has been in my shoes. I'm not looking for a magical fix. At this point, only the good Lord knows where all this is headed.
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You have hope man; you're not anywhere close to that line of no return yet. Have you ever thought of a second honeymoon?

I hate seeing divorces, and business go under.
 
#899
#899
MSUDuo said:
I hear ya man. That's why this is so tough. Her parents just celebrated 35 years and my parents will celebrate 29 this summer. Divorce isn't in our vocab but obviously that might change if my feelings don't change back.

The only married friends I have have been married for less time than I have, hence why I figured I might ask here. Thanks guys
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My brother and his wife didn't want kids. We knew it when they were dating. They had each decided before they even met each other. They were completely adamant about this. There was no discussing it. They were steadfast in their decision, and we all respected it.

They had been married for five years, and thought she was pregnant. They were devastated, as neither one of them was prepared for it. Well, she wasn't. Over the next few months, they realized that the relief they expected to be feeling was replaced by disappointment. My nephew is now 16 years old. :)

On the other end of the spectrum, my younger sister and her husband planned on having three kids. They had their first daughter. Then my sister miscarried three times in five years. I'm sure you can imagine the devastating emotions they went through, and the toll it took on their relationship. But they got through it.

My point in telling you all this is that, just as you changed your mind about wanting to be a daddy, doesn't mean it won't change back. Or, that you wouldn't be over the moon if she told you tomorrow she was pregnant. Or, that if you do decide to be a father and it doesn't happen for y'all, the marriage is over.

If all else is good in your marriage, then just talk about it. There's a reason you're feeling like you've changed your mind. Fear? Finances? Peer pressure? Just keep communication open in a loving way with your wife.
 
#900
#900
PimpVol said:
Certainly, until the bottom falls (gets deliberately & intentionally ripped) out.

If anyone is getting divorced I'd recommend my wife's lawyer. With no hesitation.
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I'm really sorry Pimp. You know you can't change the past, you can only change your future. (I mean that in the most loving way possible.) Be an amazing dad to your kids, and be the man you want them to become.
 
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