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#127
#127
(AP) Pete Rose to be named Offensive Coordinator at UT.

The search for a new offensive coordinator at the University of Tennessee is finally over with the shocking announcement of former baseball manager and player Pete Rose taking over the duties. Athletic Director Phillip Fulmer said via Vol Crazy that "Pete brings a lot of experience to this position". The fact that he's never held a football coaching position at any level, or has ever played the game before...or arguably has no interest in the game didn't sway the 1st year athletic director in his decision. "A lot of thought went into this decision. We feel Pete brings the toughness and commitment necessary to be successful at this level of college football. Pete brings a lot to the table. Experience as an athlete, and a burning desire to succeed. We're proud to welcome him to the Vol family".

Pete Rose responded to a request for comment by saying "I really don't know anything about football. I always thought it was a dumb sport. I figure it's pretty easy. Go out for a pass...and the guy will throw it to ya I guess. I really don't know. I told Fulmer I didn't think this makes any sense...but he told me he'd give me a bunch of money so I said ok."

Undoubtedly this hire ranks among the most ridiculous in the history of sports. Twitter exploded when news of the hire broke out. Dan Mullen, head coach at Florida said "Pete Rose? Really? You're kidding right?" Indeed the entire sports world is shocked by this non traditional hire by the university, but Fulmer stands by his decision. "This doesn't make sense to a lot of people. I realize that. But I have a duty to do what's best for this football program".

-Dart Fartsworth reporting.
 
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#128
#128
Breaking news...

Hearing that there is a news conference scheduled for Wednesday, Jan 2 at 9:00 am.

The meeting is scheduled for the large, ladies restroom on the ground floor of the AD building.

At that time, Coach Jeremy Pruitt will announce the entrance of our new Offensive Coordinator.

And after an extended drum roll, Jim Bob Cooter will crawl in through the ladies room window.
 
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#129
#129
The new OC is a wheel of fortune. The team huddled JG spins and when the clacking stops we have a play.
Now I know your skeptical, but it is the latest technology available. The play call is completely random, leaving the opposing dc at a loss in predicting our call. BOOM the element of surprise.
 
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#130
#130
Briles is coming and bringing his OL coach as well as Lebby from UCF to coach RBs.
We're waiting until after signing day to announce that Friend and Weinke are heading to WKU to be OC and QB coach/Pass Game Coordinator respectively.
 
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#131
#131
actually all plays will henceforth be called by an artificial intelligence program running on an IBM Watson super computer. Machine learning is currently ongoing as the algorithim consumes video of every football game ever broadcast. The plays will be announced to the team by a 3D hologram of General Neyland projected onto the sideline.
 
#132
#132
Don't tell anyone i told you, but a friend of mine within 50 miles of Knoxville, who is a solid source outside of the UT Athletic Dept. Just told me that Phil Fulmer will be calling the plays next year, 13% done at this point.
 
#134
#134
golfballs said:
Per my sources it’s happening. CJP believes in second chances. CPF has given it his blessing. Expect an announcement soon
Click to expand...
I would take Propst over Kiffin. Kiffin’s Wikipedia page still says head coach of FAU...I doubt he comes back to TN. The fans would riot....
 
#135
#135
Our OC? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. They haven't announced it yet because he is currently wrapping up another gig, where he has the lead role in a Bear Bryant biopic on the Hallmark channel. MI0001467866.jpg
 
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#136
#136
Sammy the sloth will be the next OC. It is just taking him two weeks to read the contract and sign it.
Kelly the Koala Bear will be the DB coach. Book it!
 
#139
#139
I have this from a VERY GOOD source!!! This weekend Holly Warlick is going to step down as Lady Vols coach to take over the OC football job. Her teams have averaged over 50 points per game. She believes she can do the same for the UT football team. Rumor also has it Smokey will take over the Lady Vols team. I have spoken to several people and this is seen as a major upgrade for the Lady Vols.

1544843501130.jpeg
 
#141
#141
Rumblings out of Florida are that Sal Sunseri will be hired as our new offensive coordinator. Apparently impressed during his interview, said he knows about teams scoring 40+ points per game at will, and he was on the sideline calling plays. No follow up question was asked regarding which side of the ball he was calling plays for. The only hold up is they have ran out of hems to let out of Derek Dooley's orange pants for Sunseri to wear.
 
#142
#142
The new OC is a wheel of fortune. The team huddled JG spins and when the clacking stops we have a play.
Now I know your skeptical, but it is the latest technology available. The play call is completely random, leaving the opposing dc at a loss in predicting our call. BOOM the element of surprise.
 
#143
#143
RockyTopTexas said:
WHAT?
Click to expand...

giphy-downsized-large.gif
 
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#144
#144
UNLV OC Barney Cotton will be our next OC.
The reason for the delay is obvious as he’s an underwhelming hire and the news would send recruits scattering before the early signing period.
But he LOVES to run the ball so he was an easy hire for CJP as CJP has made it clear he wants a run first, run often, and run always offense.
 
#145
#145
My source tells me Peyton's lawyers are trying to get him out of his contract with Nationwide. Once they(Nationwide)are no longer on Peyton's side, he will FNALLY be announced as our new OC AND QC.
 
#146
#146
My highly reliable, insider said our next OC is currently an NFL head coach that’s tanking his team so they don’t make he playoffs (the team is an annual fixture in the playoffs) and he will be fired with a buyout. His agent will be so upset, he’ll be dropped so Jimmy Sexton can pick him up. The 5% is that a competing head coach who also wants our OC job and Sexton as his agent does a better job tanking and coach “B” makes the playoffs
 
#148
#148
Sources are saying Pruitt will take over offensive play calling and just hire a QB coach.......
 
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