Looking for feedback, discussion on poem.

#26
#26
Some say poets are ****,
I agree with the rule.
So, I'm the exception,
FV, did you go to an all boys school???
 
#27
#27
RockyTop572 said:
I mean I don't really know your story or anything. It just sounded like a fairly average guy trying to figure out women?
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Reading the second one should put things more in perspective.

Short Version.

I'm married, there's been someone else, who also has someone else, and now that relationship is in turmoil as well. :wacko:

Clarification: My relationship with the second woman is in turmoil now as well. So, not only do I already feel bad enough for the relationship itself, but now I feel bad, because I feel bad that it appears to be ending. LOL I'm screwed up.
 
#29
#29
VolzRChamps said:
Reading the second one should put things more in perspective.

Short Version.

I'm married, there's been someone else, who also has someone else, and now that relationship is in turmoil as well. :wacko:
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Jerry Springer can help!
 
#30
#30
VolzRChamps said:
Reading the second one should put things more in perspective.

Short Version.

I'm married, there's been someone else, who also has someone else, and now that relationship is in turmoil as well. :wacko:
Click to expand...

Not be harsh, but that may be on you man. If your done with your wife, close up shop and move on with who you want to be with upfront. Going behind the back is not the way imo. I dont know the whole situation, but from the above statement that's my take. I hope things get better for you and that you find a positive way to deal with your obvious heartache.
 
#31
#31
Lexvol said:
Jerry Springer can help!
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Funny you mention that. As we sat in WalMart parking lot the other day discussing ending things, I saw the typical "white trash" walking by, and thought to myself, how appropriate that I'm at the White Trash Mecca acting like pure white trash by sneaking around. I thought to myself, we are one lesbian midget and a middle aged jewish host away from Jerry Springer.
 
#32
#32
TXVOL07 said:
Not be harsh, but that may be on you man. If your done with your wife, close up shop and move on with who you want to be with upfront. Going behind the back is not the way imo. I dont know the whole situation, but from the above statement that's my take. I hope things get better for you and that you find a positive way to deal with your obvious heartache.
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Thanks.
 
#33
#33
VolzRChamps said:
Reading the second one should put things more in perspective.

Short Version.

I'm married, there's been someone else, who also has someone else, and now that relationship is in turmoil as well. :wacko:

Clarification: My relationship with the second woman is in turmoil now as well. So, not only do I already feel bad enough for the relationship itself, but now I feel bad, because I feel bad that it appears to be ending. LOL I'm screwed up.
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Yea it sounds like you have a lot of life examining to do. We all get ourselves in stupid situations even when we knew what would ultimately happen before hand. When I'm in a tough spot I try to make decisions based on what's best for the greater amount of people from a very broad perspective.

But like my boy Jack Bauer said, "Part of getting a second chance is cleaning up the mess you made in the first place." That's the tough part.
 
#34
#34
RockyTop572 said:
Yea it sounds like you have a lot of life examining to do. We all get ourselves in stupid situations even when we knew what would ultimately happen before hand. When I'm in a tough spot I try to make decisions based on what's best for the greater amount of people from a very broad perspective.

But like my boy Jack Bauer said, "Part of getting a second chance is cleaning up the mess you made in the first place." That's the tough part.
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Well said. Like I said, I NEVER expected to be here. I was one of those "I'll never get divorced, I can't even imagine how someone could ever cheat, etc etc." Funny thing happened on the way to my current situation. Reality hit me square in the face and I realized that it's pretty closed minded to think that "it won't happen to me, I'll NEVER do THAT."
 
#35
#35
VolzRChamps said:
Well said. Like I said, I NEVER expected to be here. I was one of those "I'll never get divorced, I can't even imagine how someone could ever cheat, etc etc." Funny thing happened on the way to my current situation. Reality hit me square in the face and I realized that it's pretty closed minded to think that "it won't happen to me, I'll NEVER do THAT."
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Yea I mean obviously outside of gold diggers I don't think anyone gets into marriage expecting a divorce. I know that I certainly don't plan it ever happening to me but the statistics hold the opposing view. I'm not anywhere close to marriage but my parents are divorced so I know what that looks and feels like. It sucks and rarely once the process starts do both people think rationally and reasonably at any point but you can get through it. I think that both you and your partner probably each know deep down whether you can use time to get past it or not, and if not I think the best thing to do is get it over with and end things and not linger in the in between stage too long. If you do think you can get past it then you need to make a commitment to start working towards that immediately. From my experience the longer the in between stage lasts, the more painful everything will be in the future for all parties. It isn't a decision that you ever want to rush into but I think both parties generally know whether things can actually realistically be worked out or not.
 
#37
#37
VolzRChamps said:
Well said. Like I said, I NEVER expected to be here. I was one of those "I'll never get divorced, I can't even imagine how someone could ever cheat, etc etc." Funny thing happened on the way to my current situation. Reality hit me square in the face and I realized that it's pretty closed minded to think that "it won't happen to me, I'll NEVER do THAT."
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Do you and your wife currently have children?

I would say that is the most important question. If the answer is no, then I would say the choice is very clear...you both go your seperate ways.
 
#38
#38
VolzRChamps said:
Well said. Like I said, I NEVER expected to be here. I was one of those "I'll never get divorced, I can't even imagine how someone could ever cheat, etc etc." Funny thing happened on the way to my current situation. Reality hit me square in the face and I realized that it's pretty closed minded to think that "it won't happen to me, I'll NEVER do THAT."
Click to expand...

Yep....that is when things like this happen.
 
#40
#40
VolzRChamps said:
I'm looking for your thoughts on this poem, or it's contents. Thanks in advance for your time and attention.

Alone

How can it be that you feel so alone,
When happiness surrounds your loving home?
A head on a pillow beside you each night,
But you wake with emptiness at daybreak’s light.

Never has lonely felt so smothering.
You feel so alone even though they are hovering.
Going through the motions of wedded bliss
But it someone else’s lips that you miss.

No one can know, what would they say?
They wouldn’t understand anyway.
How could they when neither do you?
It happened so fast, it still seems new.

Fighting to stop it from becoming too much.
Regretting a lot , but missing the touch.
Missing the calls and the days away,
Struggling with words and what to say.

How is it I know just how you feel?
Is my fractured heart beginning to heel?
Of that I’m not sure, but one thing is certain,
I can’t bear to watch you when you are hurtin’.

Closeness was hard, but distance is worse.
Punishment for the sin is an unbearable curse.
Leaving behind feelings we must now disown
Leads us back to the “happiness” of being alone.
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Idk if you are religious or not but i would suggest very strongly praying about it... If you really dont love your current wife(I dont advocate divorce at all, im one of those who thinks its never gonna happen as well, i was raised to think that, and of course im not married) or dont think you can fix things with her, i say that would be the exception for me. If she isnt first in your life and you cant give it all to her, which is what she deserves, do you really want put her thru that... Just stuff to think about, i would also say talk to a pastor, they are very good at keeping things confidential, maybe you dont want to talk to one you know, go out of town and make it sort of anonymous... Im praying for your situation man, hope you can come to a decision and move on with your life and find happiness... We all love ya here bro!... Im not judging you buy telling you to go find a pastor or anything we all have our downfalls your just human, im just saying do that because i feel it could really help you figure out what has to happen... now i want to get in on the ridiculous poems a bit lol
 
#41
#41
Nothing better to do than be a bunch of haters,
Believe it or not you sound like stanky gators,
Bickering back and for with countless rhymes,
When none of them are worth a couple of dimes,
Maybe one day you will get a Clue,
And wont sound like you got an education from the big Blue,
Now this is where I end my schooling,
So now you guys can quit your fooling!
 
#44
#44
therealUT said:
Do you and your wife currently have children?

I would say that is the most important question. If the answer is no, then I would say the choice is very clear...you both go your seperate ways.
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No Children. I want them, just not sure if I want them with her....for obvious reasons. She wants children too.
 
#45
#45
bigtime said:
Idk if you are religious or not but i would suggest very strongly praying about it... If you really dont love your current wife(I dont advocate divorce at all, im one of those who thinks its never gonna happen as well, i was raised to think that, and of course im not married) or dont think you can fix things with her, i say that would be the exception for me. If she isnt first in your life and you cant give it all to her, which is what she deserves, do you really want put her thru that... Just stuff to think about, i would also say talk to a pastor, they are very good at keeping things confidential, maybe you dont want to talk to one you know, go out of town and make it sort of anonymous... Im praying for your situation man, hope you can come to a decision and move on with your life and find happiness... We all love ya here bro!... Im not judging you buy telling you to go find a pastor or anything we all have our downfalls your just human, im just saying do that because i feel it could really help you figure out what has to happen... now i want to get in on the ridiculous poems a bit lol
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Thanks. Very good advice in my opinion. Just not sure if I am ready to talk to someone about, especially one that I will feel even worse telling. I know it's wrong, and I know I should just stop, but at this point, I feel like I'm kind of past that point.
 
#46
#46
RockyTop572 said:
Yea I mean obviously outside of gold diggers I don't think anyone gets into marriage expecting a divorce. I know that I certainly don't plan it ever happening to me but the statistics hold the opposing view. I'm not anywhere close to marriage but my parents are divorced so I know what that looks and feels like. It sucks and rarely once the process starts do both people think rationally and reasonably at any point but you can get through it. I think that both you and your partner probably each know deep down whether you can use time to get past it or not, and if not I think the best thing to do is get it over with and end things and not linger in the in between stage too long. If you do think you can get past it then you need to make a commitment to start working towards that immediately. From my experience the longer the in between stage lasts, the more painful everything will be in the future for all parties. It isn't a decision that you ever want to rush into but I think both parties generally know whether things can actually realistically be worked out or not.
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Good Advice. Thanks.
 
#47
#47
VolzRChamps said:
Thanks. Very good advice in my opinion. Just not sure if I am ready to talk to someone about, especially one that I will feel even worse telling. I know it's wrong, and I know I should just stop, but at this point, I feel like I'm kind of past that point.
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Never to late man... I feel you, it would be really hard to tell a pastor or anyone for that fact, but sometimes telling something that is really naggin at you is the best thing to get it off your back... again just somethin to think about, hope it gets better!
 
#49
#49
I thought the poems had a good beat, but hard to dance to. Seriously, you are a gifted poet.

I'm no marital expert, but I have been married two weeks past 38 years. Still doesn't make me an expert, just a well worn veteran. I agree with the advice of seeking Pastoral counseling, but be sure the one you choose has some expertise in this area. You can be sure he or she has heard it all, and you won't be bringing anything new to the table. My pastor is well versed in marital counseling if you are anywhere close to Bristol. The other choice is a professional counseler. We have had many bumps in the road ourselves, but we have managed to always work it out, usually by give and take. I think that is the main problem with most marriages, not being willing to compromise when you should. But your situation is different as I interpret it, not a dispute thing, but a do we want to be together anymore thing. I advocate trying to work it out, but I don't advocate two people living in misery that cannot be resolved, then divorce is best. Be praying for all of you.
 
#50
#50
rbroyles said:
I thought the poems had a good beat, but hard to dance to. Seriously, you are a gifted poet.

I'm no marital expert, but I have been married two weeks past 38 years. Still doesn't make me an expert, just a well worn veteran. I agree with the advice of seeking Pastoral counseling, but be sure the one you choose has some expertise in this area. You can be sure he or she has heard it all, and you won't be bringing anything new to the table. My pastor is well versed in marital counseling if you are anywhere close to Bristol. The other choice is a professional counseler. We have had many bumps in the road ourselves, but we have managed to always work it out, usually by give and take. I think that is the main problem with most marriages, not being willing to compromise when you should. But your situation is different as I interpret it, not a dispute thing, but a do we want to be together anymore thing. I advocate trying to work it out, but I don't advocate two people living in misery that cannot be resolved, then divorce is best. Be praying for all of you.
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Thanks I appreciate the advice, AND the Prayers. :hi:
 
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