Looking for feedback, discussion on poem.

#1
VolzRChamps

VolzRChamps

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#1
I'm looking for your thoughts on this poem, or it's contents. Thanks in advance for your time and attention.

Alone

How can it be that you feel so alone,
When happiness surrounds your loving home?
A head on a pillow beside you each night,
But you wake with emptiness at daybreak’s light.

Never has lonely felt so smothering.
You feel so alone even though they are hovering.
Going through the motions of wedded bliss
But it someone else’s lips that you miss.

No one can know, what would they say?
They wouldn’t understand anyway.
How could they when neither do you?
It happened so fast, it still seems new.

Fighting to stop it from becoming too much.
Regretting a lot , but missing the touch.
Missing the calls and the days away,
Struggling with words and what to say.

How is it I know just how you feel?
Is my fractured heart beginning to heel?
Of that I’m not sure, but one thing is certain,
I can’t bear to watch you when you are hurtin’.

Closeness was hard, but distance is worse.
Punishment for the sin is an unbearable curse.
Leaving behind feelings we must now disown
Leads us back to the “happiness” of being alone.
 
#2
#2
VolzRChamps said:
I'm looking for your thoughts on this poem, or it's contents. Thanks in advance for your time and attention.

Alone

How can it be that you feel so alone,
When happiness surrounds your loving home?
A head on a pillow beside you each night,
But you wake with emptiness at daybreak’s light.

Never has lonely felt so smothering.
You feel so alone even though they are hovering.
Going through the motions of wedded bliss
But it someone else’s lips that you miss.

No one can know, what would they say?
They wouldn’t understand anyway.
How could they when neither do you?
It happened so fast, it still seems new.

Fighting to stop it from becoming too much.
Regretting a lot , but missing the touch.
Missing the calls and the days away,
Struggling with words and what to say.

How is it I know just how you feel?
Is my fractured heart beginning to heel?
Of that I’m not sure, but one thing is certain,
I can’t bear to watch you when you are hurtin’.

Closeness was hard, but distance is worse.
Punishment for the sin is an unbearable curse.
Leaving behind feelings we must now disown
Leads us back to the “happiness” of being alone.
Click to expand...
How it is I know just how you feel
Have my breakfast ready tomorrow or its you Ill keel
Leaving behind feelings we must now disown
Id rather sleep with a woman clone.
 
#6
#6
Cold, stone walls,
And desolation,
Were once the mark of isolation.

Yet, now I sit,
On porcelain throne,
Can't rid my bowels, 'tis constipation.
 
#8
#8
Just remember, over 50% of first time marriages end in divorce. So, feel free to join the club friend.



Club Member since November, 2007.
 
#9
#9
We used to drill like Black and Decker
Now she won't even touch my pecker
 
#14
#14
Crabs wash away, just buy some soap
But that syph you got, FV, just give up hope
 
#15
#15
The first poem in this thread is the more recent one. This one is from a lil ways back, when things were.....better.

Forbidden Love
Secret meetings always alone
Feelings that seem too overblown
Minutes like hours move slowly by
Days seem like weeks until the next time

Smiling like kids when gifts they receive
Feeling regret each time they leave
Torn between loyalties they both have
Trying hard to decide which broken path

A past with hard work is one way to go
Or a future with only the cold unknown
The best choice is simple though not to make
Broken lives will most certainly be left in the wake

Never planned from the start is where they are now
Thinking back it’s hard to understand how
Why did this happen and where does it end
Trust that’s been steadfast, now starting to bend.

Caught up in the moments of joyous life
Smiles that shine brightly like the blade of a knife
Cold and sharp and cutting so deep
Two souls will blossom and two will be reaped.

Consequences come with choices made
Love that was strong, now starting to fade
Hard to determine which way to choose
Someone must win and someone must lose

After much thought is given, decisions must come
Hearts so confused they only grow numb
Minds so broken they barely can work
Desire creeps in, beginning to lurk

Solutions too few and problems too many
Fortunes to be made off of thoughts for a penny
Can the right choice be made by simply just waiting
Hope and Regret now together and dating.

The end can’t be written it’s too soon to know
The words fall away and slowly just go.
As time goes on, one thing is less hidden
And that’s the love that is sadly forbidden.
 
#20
#20
Life Rule #1: Don't ever sweat the woman. There's too many others out there.
 
#23
#23
It definitely sounds, from the poem, that you either cheated on your wife, or you were right at the edge of cheating, and definitely still want to.

Woman. Whoa-man.
She was a thief.
You got to belief.
She stole my heart and my...
Cat.
 
#24
#24
Avoid the heartache, leave nothing to chance
Keep your willy inside of your pants
 
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