Joke time

[philly3]

Major Air Crash in Alabama
associated press---- Alabama's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater cessna 152 plane, piloted by two University of Alabama students, crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. University of Alabama search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

 

[CubsFanTN]

:lolabove: If Bear Bryant was around, this never would have happened.

 

[gsvol]

:lolabove: If Bear Bryant was around, this never would have happened.

Forget the Bear, he could never beat our General anyway.

Not even once!:salute:

 

[kev20]

A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, 'You
know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.'

The cowboy replies, 'Well, you see, I have two
brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.'

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He
orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.'

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. 'Oh, no, everybody's just fine,' he explains, 'It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church, and I had to quit drinking.'

'Hasn't affected my brothers though.'

 

[Etownvol]

Now THAT was funny.

 

[sea of orange]

There was a boy named Little Johnny, and today was Little Johnny's birthday. His parents wanted to do something very special for him so they said, "Little Johnny, we will get you anything you want for your birthday, you tell us and we will get it." Little Johnny stood there for a minute, pondering on what he wanted. He finally said, "mom and dad, I want some pink ping pong balls." His mom and dad couldn't figure out why Johnny wanted pink ping pong balls, but they got Johnny the pink ping pong balls anyways.

A year passed and it was once again Little Johnny's birthday. His parents once again confronted Johnny and said, "whatever you want, you just name it, we will get it for you." Little Johnny thought for a minute and said, "mom and dad, I want more than anything some pink ping pong balls." His mom and dad once again were dumb-founded by Johnny's strange requests, but still did not ask why.

A few days later Little Johnny fell very ill and had to be taken to the hospital. His mom and dad came in to see Johnny in his room, but he was not looking good. They said "Little Johnny whatever you want, we will get for you, all you have to do is name it." Little Johnny looked up and said once again, "mom and dad, more than anything I want some pink ping pong balls." Word soon spread around the town that Johnny was sick and that he wanted pink ping pong balls. Soon Little Johnny's hospital room was filled with pink ping pong balls sent from people around the town.

His mom and dad couldn't stand it anymore; they had to know the secret about the pink ping pong balls. They came in to see Johnny and said, "Little Johnny we just have to know why in the world you want all of these pink ping pong balls!" Little Johnny slowly opened his eyes and looked up- "mom and dad, the reason that I want all of these pink ping pong balls is...."

And then Little Johnny died