Joke thread time

#1
BamasBack12

BamasBack12

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#1
Let's start with this one...A little boy is walking through the mall with his mom and sister while their dad is off somewhere else. The little boy sees an Alabama jersey hanging in a sporting goods store window. He loves the beautiful crimson color and asks his sister "sis, I think I want to be a Bama fan, will you buy me that jersey?" His sister reaches down and slaps the $hit out of him and says "you better ask momma about that". So the little boy goes up to his mom and says "momma, will you buy me that Bama jersey, I think I've decided to be a Bama fan." His mother reaches down and slaps the $hit out of him and says "you better ask your paw about that". So when they meet up with the man of the family the little boy says to him "paw, I think I want to be an Alabama fan, will you buy me a Bama jersey?" The father reaches down and slaps the $hit out of him and says "now you think about that on the way home". That night, the family is sitting down to dinner and the father asks his son if he had any thoughts about what happened earlier that day at the mall, and the sons says "actually paw I do, I've only been a Bama fan for a few hours but I already hate you Tennessee f*#@ers!" :birgits_giggle: ROLL TIDE
 
#2
#2
Later, quality father/son time is spent searching thru the phone book for orphanage, locations and numbers. :huggy:
 
#3
#3
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Alabama Elephant. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Elephants too. No one really knowing what an Alabama Elephant was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A boy named John who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an Elephant." Then, asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why, I'm a Tennessee Volunteer," boasts the little boy. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks John why he is a rebel. "Well, my mom and dad are Volunteers, so I'm a Volunteer too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause, and a smile. "Then," says John, "I'd be an Alabama Elephant."
 
#5
#5
How many bammers does it take to change a light bulb?
5... 1 to screw it in and 4 to tell you how good the last one was...
 
#6
#6
Originally posted by BamasBack12@Oct 20, 2005 11:27 AM
Let's start with this one...A little boy is walking through the mall with his mom and sister while their dad is off somewhere else.  The little boy sees an Alabama jersey hanging in a sporting goods store window.  He loves the beautiful crimson color and asks his sister "sis, I think I want to be a Bama fan, will you buy me that jersey?"  His sister reaches down and slaps the $hit out of him and says "you better ask momma about that".  So the little boy goes up to his mom and says "momma, will you buy me that Bama jersey, I think I've decided to be a Bama fan."  His mother reaches down and slaps the $hit out of him and says "you better ask your paw about that".  So when they meet up with the man of the family the little boy says to him "paw, I think I want to be an Alabama fan, will you buy me a Bama jersey?"  The father reaches down and slaps the $hit out of him and says "now you think about that on the way home".  That night, the family is sitting down to dinner and the father asks his son if he had any thoughts about what happened earlier that day at the mall, and the sons says "actually paw I do, I've only been a Bama fan for a few hours but I already KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO GET A BEAT DOWN BY YOU TENNESSEE FOLKS!  :birgits_giggle:  GO VOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#7
#7
Did you guys see the Dear Abbey letter in the paper yesterday?

Dear Abbey:

Me and my fiance have dated for year and our ready to get married.
The problem is my family. One of my brothers is in prison for murder.
My sister is addicted to to crack cocaine and supports herself through prostitution. My other brother plays football for Alabama. My question to you Abbey, is this. Should I tell my fiance my brother plays football for Alabama??

Confused in Tennessee.



 
#8
#8
Brodie Croyle was driving through Tennesee on a road trip when he got very hungry. He decided to to stop and get something to eat. When he walked in, he walked right up to the counter. The person behind the counter was decked out in all Tennessee gear. With a sneering voice, Brodie says, "I'll have a Whopper, you stupid hick" The man behind the counter replies, "We don't sell Whoppers here."
Brodie says, "Well, idiot inbreed give me a BIG MAC!" to which the Tennessee fan replies, "We don't sell Big Macs here either." Brodie goes ballistic, swearing and fuming and finally asks "What DO you sell then?" to which the Tennessee fan replies "Hardware."

:birgits_giggle:
 
#9
#9
Billy Bob and his family moved from Alabama to Maine to so his Paw could find better work picking potatoes. The next day Billy Bob started his first day of kindergarten. When he got home he rushed to tell his Paw, "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to ree-cite the alpherbet today en Ah wuz the onliest one that could!"

His Paw replied "That's cuz you's from Bama, son!"

The next day he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to count as high as we could en Ah counted the highest!"

His Paw replied, "That's cuz you's from Bama, son!"

The next day, he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, today, when we wuz all in a line, Ah noticed Ah wuz the biggest of all! Ah bet that's cuz Ah'm from Bama, huh Paw?"

His Paw replied, "No son, that's cuz yer 17 years old."
 
#10
#10
Q: Why wouldn't Brodie Croyle buy a Japanese-made vehicle?
A: He was afraid he wouldn't understand the songs on the radio.
 
#11
#11
Question:

If you're born in Bammer, graduate from High School in Tuscallooooosie, get your PhD at Bammer, marry in Bammer and then get divorced in Arkansas; is your exwife still your sister?

Go Vols, Beat Bammer Bubbas in the Tidie Bowl!

Pound the Rock and Run to Victory :bammer: :td: :run:
 
#12
#12
What does an Alabama Cheerleader say after having sex?????











Get off me Daddy your crushing me cigarettes!!!!! :eek:lol: :boobies:
 
#13
#13
how many alabama freshman does it take to screw in a lightbulb.











none... its a sophomore course.
 
#14
#14
Two boys are playing football at a park in Knoxville when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Pitt Bull.

Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy, "I'll title it 'Young Volunteer Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal'".

"But I'm not a Volunteer fan," the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we're in Knoxville, I just assumed you were," says the reporter, and he starts writing again.

What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm an Alabama Crimson Tide fan," the boy replies. "They're the best."

The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little Redneck from Alabama brutally murders beloved family pet."
 
#15
#15
What do you call a double-wide trailer in the state of Alabama?

Scroll down for answer

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GO VOLS&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;</span>
 
#16
#16
How do you get a University of Alabama graduate off of your doorstep?
Pay him for the pizza.
 
#17
#17
Two Vol fans on the way to Tuscaloosa for the big game stopped in a bar in north Alabama. The bar was full of big scruffy looking dudes wearing "bama" caps and t-shirts, all sitting around drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and eating pickled eggs.

One of them turned to the Vols fans ands said: "Let&#39;s get this straight right now. We ain&#39;t gonna stand for any "Bama" jokes today, got it?"

The first Vol fan replied: "No sweat, we just came in for a drink on the way to the game."

The big Bammer said: That&#39;s better, I guess you didn&#39;t want an a&#036;&#036;whuppin&#39; today, huh?

The second Vol fan said: "That thought never entered my mind, pal. I just don&#39;t feel like having to explain the punch line eight times."
 
#18
#18
Originally posted by LadyinOrange@Oct 21, 2005 7:31 AM
Billy Bob and his family moved from Alabama to Maine to so his Paw could find better work picking potatoes. The next day Billy Bob started his first day of kindergarten. When he got home he rushed to tell his Paw, "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to ree-cite the alpherbet today en Ah wuz the onliest one that could&#33;"

His Paw replied "That&#39;s cuz you&#39;s from Bama, son&#33;"

The next day he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, Teacher ast us to count as high as we could en Ah counted the highest&#33;"

His Paw replied, "That&#39;s cuz you&#39;s from Bama, son&#33;"

The next day, he came home and told his Paw "Paw, Paw, today, when we wuz all in a line, Ah noticed Ah wuz the biggest of all&#33; Ah bet that&#39;s cuz Ah&#39;m from Bama, huh Paw?"

His Paw replied, "No son, that&#39;s cuz yer 17 years old."
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:eek:lol: Good one, LIO. But just in case some Bammer who can actually read comes on here and starts up with you, let me head it off by pointing out that you don&#39;t "pick" potatoes. You dig them. Of course, one who has such a noble profession as yours should not be expected to know the intricasies of backwoods agri-business. Keep the jokes comin&#39;. That one&#39;s a riot. Have already shared it with several e-mail pals after subbin digging for picking.
 
#19
#19
Originally posted by wncvolfan@Oct 21, 2005 12:15 PM
:eek:lol: Good one, LIO.  But just in case some Bammer who can actually read comes on here and starts up with you, let me head it off by pointing out that you don&#39;t "pick" potatoes.  You dig them.  Of course, one who has such a noble profession as yours should not be expected to know the intricasies of backwoods agri-business.  Keep the jokes comin&#39;.  That one&#39;s a riot.  Have already shared it with several e-mail pals after subbin digging for picking.
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I think the point was that "Paw" was so stupid, he went looking for a job picking potatoes.

:dunno:
 
#20
#20
Originally posted by LadyinOrange@Oct 21, 2005 7:50 PM
I think the point was that "Paw" was so stupid, he went looking for a job picking potatoes.

:dunno:
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I&#39;m tracking, if you say so, I believe it. :D
 
#23
#23
Since it&#39;s bammer week, I&#39;ll post it again:
What do a Bama fan and a maggott have in common?

Answer: They can both live off of a dead bear for over 20 years...
 
#25
#25
Brodie Croyle wasnt supposed to play due to his grades. After talking things over with the UA president, it was decided that he could play the 2nd half of the UT game IF he could answer a question at halftime.

When HT finally approached, a podium was set up at midfield of Bryant-Denny stadium. The bama faithful held their collective breathes because they needed Croyle for the 2nd half. The president stepped up to the microphone and asked the question.

"What is 2 + 2?"

Croyle, thought about it a minute, looked up at the sky while in deep thought, took a deep breathe and replied "FOUR&#33;"

The bama faithful let out an "AWWWWWWWW&#33; GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE&#33;&#33;&#33;"
 
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