(JOKE RUMORS) So with all the rumors floating around...

#1
aaronvol

aaronvol

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#1
about potential coaches playing golf, I must say i am a little disappointed that they aren't playing football instead. Wouldn't that be great! Gruden seen playing football with Hammy at Cedar Bluff Intermediate School. Since so many of these "golf" rumors are impossible to confirm I thought I would have some fun. So, in the spirit of fun, I wanted to start a thread that lets us all come up with the most ridiculous coaching rumors around the wonderful area of Knoxville. Mine...

Will Muschamp, Bill Cowher, and Lane Kiffin were spotted with Mike Hamilton at Celebration Station go-cart track playing paper-rock-scissors for the coaching position.
 
#2
#2
Gruden and his family were seen with Hamilton at a local mall inside the Build a bear. They stopped at a coldstone later and got the kids some ice cream. The announcement of Gruden's wife as new head cheerleading coach will come later today...Thanks aaronvol, I needed a good laugh!
 
#3
#3
adammav9 said:
Gruden and his family were seen with Hamilton at a local mall inside the Build a bear. They stopped at a coldstone later and got the kids some ice cream. The announcement of Gruden's wife as new head cheerleading coach will come later today...Thanks aaronvol, I needed a good laugh!
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brilliant!
 
#4
#4
Hamilton was seen with Bobby Petrino at a mall talking about the coaching position. Chuck Norris overheard them talkin from the fortress of solitude, and roundhouse kicked Petrino for being a crappy coach, then he glared at hamilton and he spotantiously combusted for being a moron. Chuck decided he was going to be the head coach, athletic director, and protect us from the canadians...
 
#5
#5
GASOUTHERNVOL said:
Hamilton was seen with Bobby Petrino at a mall talking about the coaching position. Chuck Norris overheard them talkin from the fortress of solitude, and roundhouse kicked Petrino for being a crappy coach, then he glared at hamilton and he spotantiously combusted for being a moron. Chuck decided he was going to be the head coach, athletic director, and protect us from the canadians...
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i am so proud of volnation right now. unreal. seriously i am rolling at work.
 
#6
#6
On a down note, Kiffin and Sarkisian were seen driving around Knoxville with Hamilton looking for an IN & Out Restaurant. When told those are only on the west coast, they immediately withdrew their names from the list of potential coaches.

*Note: If you've never had a burger from In & Out, put it on your bucket list.*
 
#7
#7
Bill Cowher was spotted at a Mcdonalds in Beardon having Mcnuggets with Elvis Presley! This of course means Cowher is the new HC and Elvis will be OC! This comes from a very reliable source close to the program (my wifes hair dresser) so you know it is true. :naughty:
 
#8
#8
According to the Knoxville News Sentinal. Breaking News 11-7-2008 11:00 AM. A creature that is described as part man, part bear and part pig was seen entering Hamilton's office. There have been random noises coming from the building. Police are waiting the arrival of Al Gore, Manbearpig expert. More as this story develops...
 
#9
#9
I just heard that Bill Cowher and Hammy were working out a deal for him to come a coach for $100, 000 a year. When Cowher heard how low the figure was he became irate, almost to the point of physically attacking Hamilton, at which Hammy pulled out a switch with a button on it. He smiled, pushed the button, and the wall in the locker room turned (like in the old movies). what was in the room behind it? A vault, huge vault, filled with Chewing gum. Cowher smiled and they shook on it. then went to the Mouse's Ear.
 
#11
#11
aaronvol said:
about potential coaches playing golf, I must say i am a little disappointed that they aren't playing football instead. Wouldn't that be great! Gruden seen playing football with Hammy at Cedar Bluff Intermediate School. Since so many of these "golf" rumors are impossible to confirm I thought I would have some fun. So, in the spirit of fun, I wanted to start a thread that lets us all come up with the most ridiculous coaching rumors around the wonderful area of Knoxville. Mine...

Will Muschamp, Bill Cowher, and Lane Kiffin were spotted with Mike Hamilton at Celebration Station go-cart track playing paper-rock-scissors for the coaching position.
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I heard Cower came out of left field w/ nuclear bomb and the game was over
 
#15
#15
I heard that Mike Hamilton was spotted yesterday at the Firehouse Subs in Knoxville talking with Terry Bowden. Reports said the conversation didnt last very long and that Terry left smiling. Two days later Hamiltons got the news that his wife was knocked up. I dont think Terry is going to be the new coach.
 
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#16
#16
News Report From Alabama. Top scientist have revealed after an extensive rounds of expirements using top of the line tools. that Nick Saban is NOT bear bryant, and in fact bear bryant is still dead. More as this story develops
 
#17
#17
A friend of mine spotted Hammy talking to Will Muschamp at Hardees. Hamilton was watering a Venus Flytrap that he brought with him and Muschamp was eating a thickburger. A glob of ketchup off his thickburger got on Muschamp's armband and he was not happy. Then Rod Wilks came in and put an end to humanity.....oh yeah, and faildozer was there too.
 
#18
#18
Well I heard that Peyton was thinkin about retiring and wants the HC job and he is bringin in Al Wilson for Linebackers coach and Pearless Price for Recievers coach. It was also stated that he might bring in Jason Witten to coach the Tight Ends and Jamal Lewis to coach the Running backs. They said they were going to call it the TAKE OVER!
 
#19
#19
these are all amazing...however, the venus fly trap is tops right now. holy cow! or the tommy bowden.
 
#22
#22
m37bruno said:
Well I heard that Peyton was thinkin about retiring and wants the HC job and he is bringin in Al Wilson for Linebackers coach and Pearless Price for Recievers coach. It was also stated that he might bring in Jason Witten to coach the Tight Ends and Jamal Lewis to coach the Running backs. They said they were going to call it the TAKE OVER!
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this actually doesnt make me laugh...just happy.
 
#24
#24
Lane Kiffin, Jimmy Johnson, Butch Davis, Will Ferrell, and Ric Flair were spotted together at Dollywood today - holding hands and skipping towards the River Rampage. Word is they made a deal that the one who got the least wet would become the new coach at UT. Word is Ric Flair chopped them all overboard to make sure he was the least wet.

He was then quoted as saying, "Mike Hamilton, diamonds are forever and so is Ric Flair. I'm a limousine ridin', jet flyin, kiss stealin' son of a gun. It takes a man to beat the man and I guarantee you that I AM THE MAN now in the SEC. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

He was then seen slapping the figure four on Willie Nelson in the parking lot at last report....
 
#25
#25
DownNDirty said:
Lane Kiffin, Jimmy Johnson, Butch Davis, Will Ferrell, and Ric Flair were spotted together at Dollywood today - holding hands and skipping towards the River Rampage. Word is they made a deal that the one who got the least wet would become the new coach at UT. Word is Ric Flair chopped them all overboard to make sure he was the least wet.

He was then quoted as saying, "Mike Hamilton, diamonds are forever and so is Ric Flair. I'm a limousine ridin', jet flyin, kiss stealin' son of a gun. It takes a man to beat the man and I guarantee you that I AM THE MAN now in the SEC. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

He was then seen slapping the figure four on Willie Nelson in the parking lot at last report....
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i heard sting was with them with the orange and black face paint.
 
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