The seventh? Quarterback. You cannot afford to lose the confidence of your fans with any of these jobs. The sequence of emotions is the same every time: disappointment, uneasiness, a loss of trust, bitter disappointment, constant fear, a shattering of trust and then, finally, venom.
Delhomme landed in the Venom Stage after his historic collapse against the Cardinals: five interceptions and a performance so magnificently putrid it prompted me to (A) compare it to the dumps police horses take; (B) add the Jake Delhomme "Seriously, I Might Get Beaten Up In My Own Locker Room After This Is Over" Face to the Mount Rushmore of Memorable Faces; and (C) write, "I sent a text to my buddy Geoff wondering if we were witnessing the worst performance in playoff history
and he threw three more picks AFTER THAT TEXT!" They couldn't bring him back after that
right?
Nope.
They brought him back.
Fans are like women. We are loyal. We are passionate. We are (occasionally) crazy. We have long memories, and we cannot forgive being hurt. You can break up with a woman once -- and only once -- and they might take you back, but they will put you through hell first. If you cheat on a woman? They might take you back, but they will never forgive you, and eventually, the whole relationship will self-combust.
Which brings us back to Jake. Even after he reached "had to go" status with Panthers fans, the team brought him back anyway. When I questioned this strategy in last Friday's column, e-mails from Carolina readers started pouring in. They all said the same things. Thank you. I'm glad you noticed. Nobody in Carolina can believe they brought him back. We cannot take it any longer. Jake's ensuing home car crash in Week 1 (four interceptions and a fumble) almost seemed preordained.
Everyone now assumes that Jake irrevocably sucks, which kills their season because Carolina's backup quarterbacks are even worse. They're stuck with Jake, which means they're stuck with 6-10 or 5-11 or maybe even 4-12.
Because here's what Jake accomplished in three parts. First, any time he plays well from this point forward, Panthers fans will feel like their ATM just accidentally spat out an extra $20. He can't lose. He's playing with (haunted) house money. Second, nobody believes in the 2009 Panthers anymore, making them the first 12-4 team ever eligible for "Nobody Believes In Us" status. And third, the booing and vitriol only rallied the Panthers around him. Did you read their quotes this week? Everyone had his back.