One time, a long time ago in a restaurant far, far away, stood me, a waiter working at T.G.I.Friday's. At that time Friday's was a happening place to work and was the "hottest" spot in town for celebrities and singles (My, how times have changed).
I remember this running back from the Dallas Cowboys (who shall remain nameless) was seated in my section. As he was perusing the menu, several other w/w's came up to me to tell me who he was and what a lousy tipper he was.
They said, "He'll run you around and then stiff you."
Well, that was not going to happen to me without some sort of repercussion. So, I devised a plan.
As I took his order ever so politely, I recalled how I used to follow his college career as an All-American back. He seemed quite pleased at this. It was a bit of a patronizing act from me, but well carried out, which I attribute to my acting skills. But, I digress.
As his order came up in the window, I pulled it aside and placed a nice, warm luggy on top of his mushroom-sauced burger. No one could tell it was there, except me. This was going to be my revenge for the lousy tip, if any, I was to receive.
After a few bits, I checked back with him and asked how his burger was. He curteously replied, "It's very good."
"Good. I knew you'd like it.", I replied, smiling all the way.
Finally, when it came time for the bill, I left it on the table, fully expecting nothing more that the total charges.
When I went back to survey the damages and reinforce my preconceived attitude toward this individual, I found much to my surprise......a very generous tip.
I was so ashamed of myself.
I never told anyone the story for years and years and I swore on that moment that I would never do anything as vile as that again. I knew that I deserved some karmic justice.
After that little incident, I never assumed as a waiter or bartender again.
I also learned that one tip is not going to effect my total take for the week or day for that matter. And it certainly wasn't going to rule my service toward any individual. It actually changed my outlook on a lot of things.
I wonder if I've ever eaten a "spit" burger. I really don't want to know.
—The Remorseful Avenger
