Idiot Alert!

#1

Hoosier_Vol

VFL Stuck in B1G Hell
Joined
May 26, 2005
Messages
35,600
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45,419
#1
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason:
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." Kingman, KS.
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, !
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
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STAY ALERT!
They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE
 
#3
#3
I got asked one of the airport questions 1 too many times on a hungover morning in Montana. This time it was about the 1/4", round-edged safety scissors in my 'traveller's sewing kit'. I made the mistake of saying, sarcastically, that any decent hijaker could do more damage with a pen- or even their fingers.

They decided to let me go just in time to make my plane- though they'd held it at the gate 15 minutes and apparently had made an announcement before I got on to the effect that they were leaving late solely because I was the human equivalent of a rectal polyp.
 
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