This is a sincere thank-you from an all-orange UT fan.
You see, I came to be a UT fan later in life. I attended the University of Oklahoma and ended up in Nashville after college. Met a UT grad, married her, started going to games and got hooked. I now follow the Vols more than my Alma Mater.
My career took me to Huntsville, AL where I developed a severe hatred for the small-minded, redneck Tiders and their ilk. However, it wasn't so bad because Fulmer was right in the middle of his 11-5 run. Life was good.
Then, SUPRISE, Bama got caught doing what they do best... CHEATING. Even better, we turned them in. Oh you should have heard the weeping and gnashing of teeth of the unwashed Bammer nation. Trailer parks everywhere were indeed suicidal! But, who did they blame? Not the bammer boosters and coaches! No, they were mad because they got caught! Blaming UT for every ill that plagues the state from the football program to teen pregnancy. The standard cry was, "You Cheat too!" To which I would calmly reply that, yes, we probably do, but we're smart enough to not get caught. I loved it! It was so much fun I let my hate of all things Bammer dissapate. Plus, we were beating that Crimson tail regularly.
I noticed something else, too. Their fans went into hiding, all of sudden, Auburn fans could be found in abundance where they were definitely a minority a few years before. My hatred died down even more and found a new target in UF. I had found peace with the Bammer faithful.
Then in 2005 a foul wind blew up The Hill and my beloved Vols finished the year 5-7. Surely this was a fluke, some kind of devine joke.
The few Bama fans left in 2005 did have enough cajones to revel in their win, and UT's misfortune, but considering the state of bammer's program, their heart just wasn't in it. I let it go. Had to be an anomoly.
2006 we beat them again 6-3 because Mike Shula wouldn't take a chance on the UT goal line on 4th down in Neyland. He was scared. I knew it, and so did UA fans. Another UT win, the status quo was unchanged. All was right with the world again, and the bammers slunk off to their holes. Happy times for this UT fan. But it was all about to change.
You truly don't understand what the hiring of Saban was like in the state of Alabama unless you lived here. LOCAL NEWS channels interupted regularly scheduled programming for his arrival at the airport. I am not sure an appearance by Christ himself with Elvis as the opening act would have generated more excitement from the teeming, toothless masses in this God-Forsaken state. I'm not kidding when I say I saw grown men openly WEEPING when they shook his hand. Parents pulled children out of school to get a glimpse of him as he was paraded into the athletic office on campus. I personally know bosses who let employees off work to watch his first press conference. My gag reflex was working over time watching that douche parade around the state like a self-proclaimed king of the world and the dead-bear loving jackholes eat it up.
Immediately, all of the Tide necks began climbing out of hibernation. Talking smack, being boastful, and I'm sure, judging by the amounts I saw in the streets, buying Bama gear by the buttload. The worst was that stupid, red sticker with an S on it with the words "The Coach" written underneath, a tale-off of the Bush campaign stickers.Then the ignorant "Got Saban?" Shirts. Every time I see either of those, thoughts of violence enter my mind. The hatred that had been mollified for so long began to resurface.
In 2007, UT lost to Bama, but did get into the SEC championship through the back door so the loss was forgiven, but not forgotten. Another Outback Bowl with the sorry bammers in the Independence. So much for all that money the Crimson Flow gave to Satan. LMAO!!!
Special note: 2008 is better left forgotten.
This brings us to the present and why I want to thank Bama. My hatred for all things Crimson is at an all time high. The renewed sucess of their program and the arrogance and stupidity of their fans has reached epic proportions...
I hate them because a guy at my bar, Ruggby's, has a bammer shirt for every day of the week.
I hate them because every time I wear anything UT, some neck says I got something on my shirt while pointing at the Power T.
I hate those two hot, stupid bimbos wearing Bear hats.
I hate the stupid elephant trumpeting sounder that sounds like Andre the Giant getting prison-raped on their commercials.
I hate their 12, LOL, national championships.
I hate the Million Dollar Band. How arrogant is that?
I hate that Tuscaloosa wouldn't let Whataburger open a restraunt because their colors are Orange and White.
I hate Rammer Jammer. What the hell is a yellowhammer anyway? Isn't that like a sparrow or something.
I hate them for denying our request to wear or home uniforms in Tuscaloser this year.
I hate them, but I thank them for showing their true colors for last two seasons. Enjoy it now ignorant Tide fans. The Lane train is coming. Just like Saban in 2006.
God, I hate Alabama.
GO VOLS!!!!!
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