Panthro
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2008
- Messages
- 7,878
- Likes
- 2,714
Found this on a sports blog I check out from time to time.
Go to the website to vote on "How Will Lane Kiffin Get in Trouble Next?"
Here are the options.
1. Sexting
According to various news outlets, sexting is all the rage among todays youth. When I was in high school, we drew naked doodles of our classmates on our biology notes, and we liked it. Seeing actual genitals took years of hard work, emotional charades, and strategically placed malt liquor. Nevertheless, if high school kids are doing it, you can believe college coaches know about it and are soon to follow. This will become even more likely if Kiffin hires Sean Salisbury as an assistant coach/cock pic coordinator.
2. Illegal Contact via Carrier Pigeon
As coaches exhaust their technological know-how with MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, and AOL Chat Rooms (The SEC typically being a decade behind the rest of America), the most forward-thinking will actually go backwards, and embrace the communication processes of the past. After a telegraph proves too difficult to use, Kiffin will attach his phone number to the leg of any wayward bird he finds, and release them in search of 63 linebackers with 4.5 speed. Tennessee will be forced to self-report after the bird instead makes a nest in Pat Summitts hair.
3. An Indecent Proposal
The first rule of recruiting is to utilize anything and everything you may have to your advantage, and Kiffins main advantage (in life) is his smoking hot wife. If Woody Harrelson can offer up one night with Demi Moore to Robert Redford for a million dollars, you better believe Lane is capable of doing the same with Layla and Joe Montanas kid. The cover will be blown when he inexplicably commits to Tennessee and Lane never looks at him in the eye again. Rocky Top, indeed.
4. Billboard on Peyton Mannings Forehead
Struggling to gain positive press, Kiffin will turn to three-time NFL MVP and former Vols Big-Man-on-Campus Peyton Manning to help turn public perception around. The 10 x 10 advertisement will initially be effective, but UT will once again be forced to self-report as NCAA officials across the country observe the illegal ManningBoard on NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, PBS, The Discovery Channel, Cinemax 1 through 5, VH1 Classic and Telemundo. Eli will continue to serve as a UT commercial by demonstrating the perils of an Ole Miss education every time he opens his mouth.
With Leather - Sports news and gossip, panda sex, and the occasional Toonces the driving cat Photoshop
Kind of stupid, but there isn't much else to talk about in May.
Go to the website to vote on "How Will Lane Kiffin Get in Trouble Next?"
Here are the options.
1. Sexting
According to various news outlets, sexting is all the rage among todays youth. When I was in high school, we drew naked doodles of our classmates on our biology notes, and we liked it. Seeing actual genitals took years of hard work, emotional charades, and strategically placed malt liquor. Nevertheless, if high school kids are doing it, you can believe college coaches know about it and are soon to follow. This will become even more likely if Kiffin hires Sean Salisbury as an assistant coach/cock pic coordinator.
2. Illegal Contact via Carrier Pigeon
As coaches exhaust their technological know-how with MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, and AOL Chat Rooms (The SEC typically being a decade behind the rest of America), the most forward-thinking will actually go backwards, and embrace the communication processes of the past. After a telegraph proves too difficult to use, Kiffin will attach his phone number to the leg of any wayward bird he finds, and release them in search of 63 linebackers with 4.5 speed. Tennessee will be forced to self-report after the bird instead makes a nest in Pat Summitts hair.
3. An Indecent Proposal
The first rule of recruiting is to utilize anything and everything you may have to your advantage, and Kiffins main advantage (in life) is his smoking hot wife. If Woody Harrelson can offer up one night with Demi Moore to Robert Redford for a million dollars, you better believe Lane is capable of doing the same with Layla and Joe Montanas kid. The cover will be blown when he inexplicably commits to Tennessee and Lane never looks at him in the eye again. Rocky Top, indeed.
4. Billboard on Peyton Mannings Forehead
Struggling to gain positive press, Kiffin will turn to three-time NFL MVP and former Vols Big-Man-on-Campus Peyton Manning to help turn public perception around. The 10 x 10 advertisement will initially be effective, but UT will once again be forced to self-report as NCAA officials across the country observe the illegal ManningBoard on NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox, PBS, The Discovery Channel, Cinemax 1 through 5, VH1 Classic and Telemundo. Eli will continue to serve as a UT commercial by demonstrating the perils of an Ole Miss education every time he opens his mouth.
With Leather - Sports news and gossip, panda sex, and the occasional Toonces the driving cat Photoshop
Kind of stupid, but there isn't much else to talk about in May.
