Headlines in the year 2034

#1
volinbham

volinbham

VN GURU
Joined
Oct 21, 2004
Messages
70,107
Likes
63,532
#1
.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches with only 3 illegitimate children.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Click to expand...
 
#7
#7
jo paterno has half of body replaced by us robotics making him a cyborg. penn state offers a 20 year extension to coach jo pa 2.0
Posted via VolNation Mobile
 
#8
#8
Naughty, naughty children, santa obamba isn't going to stuff your stockings if you persist in this political incorrectness.:birgits_giggle:
 
#9
#9
Vols win tenth National Championship. Coach Lane Kiffin named Coach of the year a record 12th time. In his 35th year as Head Coach, Kiffin remarked," I still treasure the first COY award my second year when we won ten games.

The Vols rolled to a 45 to 10 win over previously unbeaten Penn State who also set a record for Joe Paterno being the oldest coach in the NC game. Some are questioning the validity, his being dead now for ten years. His stuffed body was stationed on the sideline.
 
#10
#10
rbroyles said:
Vols win tenth National Championship. Coach Lane Kiffin named Coach of the year a record 12th time. In his 35th year as Head Coach, Kiffin remarked," I still treasure the first COY award my second year when we won ten games.

The Vols rolled to a 45 to 10 win over previously unbeaten Penn State who also set a record for Joe Paterno being the oldest coach in the NC game. Some are questioning the validity, his being dead now for ten years. His stuffed body was stationed on the sideline.
Click to expand...

don't you mean up in the press box?
 
#12
#12
true enough. my bad.
I thought it was already determined though, that he would be a cyborg.
 
#13
#13
kev20 said:
true enough. my bad.
I thought it was already determined though, that he would be a cyborg.
Click to expand...

My psychic thinks otherwise, of course he was the same one who predicted a 11-1 season for UT last year.
 
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.
Advertisement



Back
Top