Growing a beard

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#1
wounded mullet

wounded mullet

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Men, is growing a beard on a regular basis a desire for you? Something you need to do to sort of say, "Hey world, **** you and your razors, im not giving in to the 8 bladed Schick this week". Sometimes beard growing is a symbolic gesture to project a change in one's self or mood. Either way it must be done.

Yet you say, mullet, it's just a effing beard, what are you rambling about? No it's not silly woman, it's my being, my scratching post for enlightened thinking. It's sometimes ruffled with red and blonde, sometimes stained with the overzealous drinking of OJ in the morning. Will i cut it for you? No, until the cute girl at work says im starting to look like a rapist that works for al Qaeda, this beard will stay peeled to my face.


Or until it starts hitting in the 80's on a regular basis, because nobody likes a itchy sweaty face.
Or i get tired of trimming those crazy steroid growing rouge wild hairs.
There's always the option of downsizing to a goatee, but then you feel kind of douchey. Like you just became your evil twin brother.
Or you can relive the late 90's and sport the goatee/mutton chop combo. maybe go to a Smashmouth concert afterward.



The question.. Are you a beard man? If so, are you a permanent beard man or just one like me who goes through their phases about two or three times a year.


Girls, if you are packing a little more testosterone levels than you should, feel free to share your beard stories as well. Thanks for listening..
 
#2
#2
wounded mullet said:
Men, is growing a beard on a regular basis a desire for you? Something you need to do to sort of say, "Hey world, **** you and your razors, im not giving in to the 8 bladed Schick this week". Sometimes beard growing is a symbolic gesture to project a change in one's self or mood. Either way it must be done.

Yet you say, mullet, it's just a effing beard, what are you rambling about? No it's not silly woman, it's my being, my scratching post for enlightened thinking. It's sometimes ruffled with red and blonde, sometimes stained with the overzealous drinking of OJ in the morning. Will i cut it for you? No, until the cute girl at work says im starting to look like a rapist that works for al Qaeda, this beard will stay peeled to my face.


Or until it starts hitting in the 80's on a regular basis, because nobody likes a itchy sweaty face.
Or i get tired of trimming those crazy steroid growing rouge wild hairs.
There's always the option of downsizing to a goatee, but then you feel kind of douchey. Like you just became your evil twin brother.
Or you can relive the late 90's and sport the goatee/mutton chop combo. maybe go to a Smashmouth concert afterward.



The question.. Are you a beard man? If so, are you a permanent beard man or just one like me who goes through their phases about two or three times a year.


Girls, if you are packing a little more testosterone levels than you should, feel free to share your beard stories as well. Thanks for listening..
Click to expand...

I grow a beard for a few reasons:
1. I look good with one
2. I'm too lazy to shave sometimes
3. It is a way to rebel
4. When I'm in a bad mood I'm less likely to shave


I've got a good beard going right now. Probably time to get rid of it soon, though.
 
#3
#3
I've had a well groomed beard for about 2 years. Nothing "Awesome Beard" level, but it's what i do.
 
#4
#4
I have the "Irish Special" it's not great like the Sparta dude but it gets me through the winters.
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#6
#6
Goatee here but usually look like I am about to start growing a beard. Usually shave about every 4 or 5 days.
 
#8
#8
I randomly don't shave for a few days and have a beard for a while. Depends on my mood that week I guess.
 
#9
#9
I guess after futher recollection that I have grown the mullet, although not so wounded of the beard family.... The expanded Goat-tee-offering.

Me and My GTO.
 
#10
#10
I can't fully pull off the goat tee because it doesn't fully connect unless my mustache whiskers get pretty long.
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#11
#11
Great thread. I usually have your standard procrastination beard by the of the week. I have a full fledged procrastination beard right fu$%ing now.
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#12
#12
Mine grows really slow, so growing out a manly beard would take forever. Like if I started now, I would have a decent one by the time I got put in the nursing home.
 
#13
#13
DynamiteMcGhee said:
Mine grows really slow, so growing out a manly beard would take forever. Like if I started now, I would have a decent one by the time I got put in the nursing home.
Click to expand...

I know the feeling on that. This seems like it has been a lifelong project of just growing a epic beard once. I always end up getting frustrated before it comes to fruition.
 
#14
#14
Every time I'm on leave I grow out a beard. People were shocked at how big my beard grew over 15 days of Christmas/block leave before I deployed. Before the Army, I was one of those that would get the desire to grow out the beard 3-4 times a year just to mix it up. During the non-beard times, I'd never shave within 3 days of each other unless I had something important to do where the day old beard look just wouldn't work. I hate having to shave everyday. It sucks.
 
#15
#15
For the life of me, I can't grow a full beard. It comes in crazy thick all under my chin/face, but terribly thin at the mustache and sides, and not at all at the corners of my mouth.

Also, despite being light brown haired, the under-part that is thick is as red as a fire truck, the pathetic mustache is yellow like the sun, and the sides match the roof.

Gentlemen, my facial hair is a cluster-****. An absolute cluster-****. But I still try to grow it out, every 2 or 3 months, and I never shave two days in a row. Call it jail pussy if you wish.
 
#18
#18
I'm a weekend beard warrior. Sometimes don't shave on Thursday or Friday depending on work schedule. By Sunday night it's looking good
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#20
#20
Fyodor Dostoevsky said:
I only clip. I have not used a razor on my face in 5 months. Shaving makes one look old.
Click to expand...

Eh, that varies from person to person. When I'm clean shaven I have that baby face look. I turned 30 a month ago but most people think I look around 23, no lie. With the beard, I definitely look closer to 30.

I'm the opposite of JayTrain. My hair is light brown to blonde (depending on how often I'm out in the sun), but my beard will have lots of dark brown and red in it initially. If I trim it after a month or so it usually starts to match my natural hair color..
 
#21
#21
I would love to be able to grow a beard. I can't. I've tried and tried. It's too patchy and the mustache part doesn't connect to the rest, which I can't stand. I wish I could grow a Ryan Reynolds beard. But mine is more like an Garrett Hedlund beard.

Reynolds
Ryan-Reynolds-with-Beard.jpg


Hedlund
Hedlund-The-Greatest-premiere-2010-garrett-hedlund-12953311-444-594.jpg
 
#25
#25
1. I can't grow a beard because of my job
2. Even if I could, my facial hair grows like Joe Dirt's
 
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