Give me some ammo - BAMMER JOKES

#1
alavolfan

alavolfan

Back in bammer...bummer
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
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#1
I live about 1 hour north of Tuscaloosa and have had to put up with their trash talk for a year now. What I would like are some good, fairly clean jokes to use with these BAMMERs. Of course, I believe that the TIDE is going to turn this weekend... but still would love to hear your jokes bout BAMA. GO VOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#2
#2
How are a divorce and a tornado in Alabama similar?

Either way, somebody's going to lose a trailer...
 
#4
#4
How do you get a Bama cheerleader in your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push real hard.

What do you get when you put 32 cheerleaders in a room?
A full set of teeth.

Some oldies but goodies.
 
#5
#5
What is the most often documented statement by the Bama campus police?

Honest officer - I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
 
#7
#7
alavolfan said:
I live about 1 hour north of Tuscaloosa and have had to put up with their trash talk for a year now. What I would like are some good, fairly clean jokes to use with these BAMMERs. Of course, I believe that the TIDE is going to turn this weekend... but still would love to hear your jokes bout BAMA. GO VOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
How's about: You know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama. Otherwise, we'd call it a teethbrush...
 
#13
#13
Married to a Bama girl I have to have numerous jokes to counteract all the junk I suffer when we visit with the inlaws:

Did you hear about the Alabama library burning down? It burned up all 6 books and 2 of them had not even been colored in yet.

Did you hear that the Alabama President's house burned down? It burned up all the way down to the wheels.

How do you know when a cheerleader is from Bama? She has more tatoos than teeth.

This is TOO easy!
 
#15
#15
Good to see you married up, my friend! :clapping:

And as for our President's Mansion. . .

UofALpresidentsmansion.jpg
 
#17
#17
Did you hear that they had to quit putting the deodorant discs in the urinals in Bryant stadium? All the Bama kept stealing them thinking they were large size Certs.
 
#18
#18
Do you know why Bear Bryant left the state of Alabama right after he retired from coaching? He wanted to get as far away from football as he could.
 
#19
#19
Why do they throw manure at weddings in Alabama instead of rice? To keep the flies off the bride!!!!!!!!!!!:rock: :crazy:
 
#21
#21
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

If it had been invented anywhere else, they would have called it the "Teethbrush".
 
#23
#23
Question and Answer

Q. Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
A. 3 dollars a year for a million years.

Q. What do a Divorce in Alabama, a Tornado in Kansas and a Hurricane in Florida have in common?
A. Somebody's fixin' to lose them a house trailer.

Q. Why do folks from Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A. Nobody admitted 17 and under.

Q. What do you get when you have 32 Alabamians in the same room?
A. A full set of teeth.

Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?
A. Everyone has the same DNA.

Q. A new law was passed in Alabama recently.
A. When a couple gets a divorce, they're still brother and sister.

Two Alabamians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

"Jus' some chickens.

"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"

"I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmmm......, five?"

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"

The Alabamian and his gal were embracing passionately in the front seat of the car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked.

"No," he replied.

A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?"

"No," he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."

Q. Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alabama burned down?
A. Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?
A. Wear a Bama jersey!
 
#24
#24
Q. What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Alabama fans?
A. The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks.

Two Auburn fans are walking in the woods. One says, "Look! A dead bird."
The other one looks up into the sky and says, "Where?"

Q. Do you know the difference between an Auburn fan getting run over by a car and an Alabama fan?
A. There are skid marks in front of the Bama fan!!

Two innebriated Auburn fans are walking along a railroad track.
One says, "Darn! These stairs are killin' me!"
The other says, "It's ain't the stairs I can't stand, it's the low handrails!"

Q. What's a seven course meal at Auburn?
A. A possum and a six-pack.

Q. Do you know why Terry Bowden was fired?
A. He was too short to step down.

An Alabama offensive lineman who doesn't hold, a humble Florida Gator, and Santa Claus all checked into the same hotel. As they entered the elevator, they spotted a $50 bill on the floor. Who ended up with the money and why?
Answer: Santa Claus - the other two aren't real!

Q. What do they put on the bottoms of Coke bottles at Auburn?
A. Please open other end.

This year's Auburn team is so sorry they have to buy a house just to get a yard.

Q. How do you keep an Auburn football player out of your yard?
A. Put a goal post in it.

Q. How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just one, but it takes a roomfull to sit around and talk about how the BEAR would have done it.
 
#25
#25
What is the difference between a Bammer fan and a maggot?

The maggot will only feast of the carcass of a dead Bear for about a week before it gets on with the rest of its life.
 
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