Football Practice Delayed 2 Hours

#1
misplaced_vol_fan

misplaced_vol_fan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2008
Messages
66
Likes
0
#1
There was a scare at the vols practice field today after a player found an unidentified white powde on the field. The field was evacuated and FBI and local authorities were sent in to investigate. After the test from the FBI labs came back, the team was informed that the unidentified powder was the goal line and they would not see it again this year.
 
#9
#9
Anybody heard the one where a priest, a rabbi, and John Chavis walk into a bar?
 
#11
#11
Well since this thread is lacking I'll try to pick it up:

Another guy walks into a bar with a one foot man sitting on his shoulder.

He ordered a beer.

The bartender was curious as he got the beer for the guy, but as he put the beer down on the bar, before the guy could reach it, the little man lept off his shoulder and picked up the beer and dumped it in the guys lap.

The guy sighs and asks for a shot of whisky.

As soon as the glass hits the bar, the little man threw the drink in the guys face and smashed the shot glass against the wall.

"I have to know.... where did you get that guy?"

"Well... I'll tell you... I was walking on the beach, saw a brass lamp, rubbed it, and a geenie came out. He said I could have one wish. I asked for a twelve inch prick and this is what I got..."
 
#12
#12
Tarzan and Jane

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the
jungle she was attracted to him,

And during her questions about his life ,
she asked him how he had sex?

'Tarzan not know sex' he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said 'Oh,....Tarzan use knot
hole in trunk of tree.'

Horrified Jane said, ' Tarzan you have it all wrong,
but I will show you how to do it properly.'

She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground.

'Here' she said,pointing to her privates,
'you must put it in here.'

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Janehis considerable manhood,stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch !

Jane rolled around in agony for what
seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to grasp for air and
screamed ' What did you do that for ?'

Tarzan replied, 'Check for squirrel.'
 
#15
#15
Orange necks!

Forget Rednecks! Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from
Tennessee -- aka 'Orange necks.'

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you may live in Tennessee.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in
Tennessee.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you may live in Tennessee.

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Knoxville for the weekend, you
may live in Tennessee.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Tennessee.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live
in Tennessee.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you may live in Tennessee.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
you may live in Tennessee.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and
everybody's passing you, you may live in Tennessee.

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly, you may live in Tennessee.

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
Tennessee friends and others, you definitely live in Tennessee.
 
#17
#17
misplaced_vol_fan said:
There was a scare at the vols practice field today after a player found an unidentified white powde on the field. The field was evacuated and FBI and local authorities were sent in to investigate. After the test from the FBI labs came back, the team was informed that the unidentified powder was the goal line and they would not see it again this year.
Click to expand...

This joke was actually funny about 10 years ago when it first started circulating.
 
#18
#18
I think this joke started circulating when the internet was 1st started. Al Gore might have been the 1st to send it.
 
#19
#19
misplaced_vol_fan said:
There was a scare at the vols practice field today after a player found an unidentified white powde on the field. The field was evacuated and FBI and local authorities were sent in to investigate. After the test from the FBI labs came back, the team was informed that the unidentified powder was the goal line and they would not see it again this year.
Click to expand...

And here I thought there was a Tony Robinson sighting :shaking2:
 
#20
#20
The FEMA joke goes something like this.

It was reported that FEMA was very interested in hiring CPF. Why you may ask? Because it was determined that nobody could evacuate a 100,000 people as fast as CPF!:dance2::post-4-1090547912:
 
#21
#21
This joke was started sometime around 911 when everyone was worried about Anthrax and terrorist attacks if I remember correctly.
 
#22
#22
UT eliminated Al Gore from consideration as the new coach today. Said Mike Hamilton, "We need someone who can win in Tennessee and Florida."
 
Last edited:
#24
#24
misplaced_vol_fan said:
There was a scare at the vols practice field today after a player found an unidentified white powde on the field. The field was evacuated and FBI and local authorities were sent in to investigate. After the test from the FBI labs came back, the team was informed that the unidentified powder was the goal line and they would not see it again this year.
Click to expand...
beep...beep old old
 
New posts
You must log in or register to reply here.
Advertisement

Back
Top