Dusting this off since it appears it might apply...
Timeline on a coaching search.
1. Complete remainder of season grumbling about current coach and how "he sucks/we suck." At some point, probably around game 8 or 9, grumbles become more apparent and start borderline wishing ill will on the current coaching staff. E.G. "Can the coach get eaten by a dinosaur or something?" or "Just fire him during halftime!"
2. Grumbles become even more apparent during game day when laced with liberal amounts of alcohol. Each play makes your disdain more apparent and leads to shouting, guzzling more alcohol, drunken rage internet posts and potentially throwing solid objects at the TV depending on your level of fandom. YouTube videos fueled by anger and alcohol with the fan's rants against the current coaching staff are a must at this point.
3. By game 10, a petition on change.org or We The People needs to be started of "Fire the Coach!" Receive massive amounts of troll posts from opposing fan bases in their desire to see the current coach remain along with barely contained snickers and snorts as to your current demise.
4. Game 11 or 12, AD finally is faced with no choice but to let the current coach go. A massive three day celebration by the vast majority of the fan base ensues listing each and every moment of the (former) coach's ineptitude since the day he was hired. "You remember when coach did this play?" or "How was he such a loser to lose this recruit?"
4a. A small minority of the fan base will call the move to dismiss the coach as the worst decision ever. Like for all time and the remainder of the fan base is completely ignorant and stupid because the team was just beginning to rise. These attitudes will prevail in said fans well into the next season.
5. After the three day bender and major claims the program is back on the right track (coach wise) the fan base collectively comes to its sense with "crap, what do we do now?"
6. List ever Division 1 coach that has a winning record as a possible candidate. Include NFL coordinators, select NFL coaches and former coaches in that candidate search. Find each and every way to link said candidate into your university in a collegiate version of "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon." It doesn't matter how thin the link can/will be, it applies. "This Coach did a football clinic at our school and said he thought they were one of the greatest programs he'd seen, like ever! We've got him in our pocket!"
6a. Another small group will be vocal in their desire for a current coordinator or interim coach to fill the head coach position. "There aren't any decent coaches available right now and what's the worst we can do? Have him fill it this year while we look for a candidate through the off season."
7. After about a week, settle into about a half dozen candidates, some of which are realistic, some make others think "WTF?" Again, the links into the program are highly valuable at this point as the massive internet search begins for each and every quote of said candidate about your program. At least one, but not limited to, will be your golden goose. Your can't miss deal that will bring back prominence to your program rapidly based on a name alone.
8. Field narrows in the days that follow into your golden goose candidate, no matter how far fetched it seems. At this point, airplane trackers are in play, massive internet searches, calls into sports radio and TV shows about why said coach will be there, MNF watching to see a color of a tie, blogs are written and insider information becomes to the forefront of the talk. "I heard a janitor saw a list in the trash can of the Assistant Junior Grade Associate Director for Field Management in the Athletic Department had a list of candidates and the name was underlined! BOOM!"
9. Roller coaster of emotions follows as said candidate does not confirm
or deny interest in said job. Minute by minute the fan base will be:
to
And will repeat as necessary over the following minutes, hours and days. Each word uttered by your candidate will be analyzed, interpreted and used as rationale for their interest in the job.
10. A small, but realistic element will bring forth yet another candidate that seems to have interest in the job. However, the golden goose crowd will jeer and shout down said candidate by every means possible and find every bad decision ever made.
11. Golden goose publicly says they have no interest in the job. This can/will be seen as a smokescreen as well as a diversion to stop talking about said candidate in order for negotiations to continue. Talk of said golden goose will continue for days/weeks following. "He can't turn us down! We have a top tier program and plenty of money to burn!"
11a. Several coaches will decline the position, adding gasoline to the bonfire of emotions. "You see?! They HAD to ask him in order to make it look like they were doing an actual search! This means Coach Golden Goose is on the way! As soon as Bowl Season/NFL Playoffs/Football broadcasting is complete! Soon!"
12. A front runner emerges quietly behind the scenes in the AD, but is not mentioned at this point.
13. Press conference is scheduled by the AD. Most fans think the new coach will be announced (their golden goose) but it happens to be the AD talking about the search and "finding the best candidate." More smokescreen talk, booms and celebrating occurs as the AD knows what's up and is concealing the truth.
14. Desperation ensues as the search is taking far longer than expected. Previous pics of "it's happening" and "we're screwed, it's not happening" come into effect more rapidly as the roller coaster of emotions comes in full force.
15. New coach is named and is not who you think it will be. Again, massive internet searches bog down servers all over the country as the new coach is studied in depth. Half the fans will say "not a bad choice...just not mine" and the other half will say "OMG, we will suck! Shoulda thrown the bank at the Golden Goose!"
16. Curiosity will ensue into the off season to include signing day. Fan base will be divided as "new coach sucks because we didn't land this recruit" to "he did well to salvage a top 25 recruiting class."
17. Spring game might give some hope, but to others it will bring despair.
18. For first season, attitudes will be as polar opposite as each play is seen as the mark of the coaching ability. "OMG! Did you see that touchdown! We've got our guy and are on the way back!" Versus "OMG! What a horrible play! We are no better than we were last year!" to the drunken fueled "OMG! We suck! We should have gone all out to hire Coach Goose!"
19. After the first season, fans begin to realize it might not be as bad as it seems and maybe Coach needs a chance.
20. Repeat as necessary every three to five years.
lol:
