Cletus Jardine. My first post on Volnation. Go Vols!!!

#52
#52
VFL-82-JP said:
Dude in the middle seems legit, right down to the meth eyes.

Fella on the left didn't try hard enough. I mean, sandals and just-bought bib overalls? C'mon, dude, you need to put at least a LITTLE effort in. But I do like the hat.

Man on the right also doesn't have enough mileage on his overalls to make them for real, and his wedding ring isn't a Schlitz pull tab, so that's just wrong. Not enough scars on the stock of his rifle, or tears in his straw hat, neither. Nice shades. :)

But I have to give it to the bookends, they really went out of their way to fool us with those beards. Totally legit!
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We may not be purty to look at but we got some new duds for the picture. My brother JR is a good man and dont do any drugs. He has a pure heart and loves his Tennessee football! We are all about the Vols and are true fans!! Go Vols!!!
 
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#53
#53
Vfl2407 said:
Ize well take this hereun.
Cletus, ass won commodian to the nuther.
Yore turd needz a litl poleishin.
Yooze haz got to git yore whatsis cald the hook
And stay in yore karacter the hole time.

My hook is my poleing. Butt I only yooze it durin the seezon wit utter Vols who like bein poled on Satturdayz.
Keep att itt...Cletus...and welcome to Vol nation.
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Heck fur, you jest broke mah hillbonics meeter!
 
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#55
#55
Gandalf said:
A quick google search turns this up for the brothers 3 :D

ACSszfGk_QwthMTahTeq4oj1GKh9W4MIQXYsH6tG9A=s900-mo-c-c0xffffffff-rj-k-no
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Welcome! Could have done a little better on the hair but I like it.
Go Vols!
 
#57
#57
Gandalf said:
A quick google search turns this up for the brothers 3 :D

ACSszfGk_QwthMTahTeq4oj1GKh9W4MIQXYsH6tG9A=s900-mo-c-c0xffffffff-rj-k-no
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I'm not a gun expert but, the one on the right looks like a foreign made weapon. No self-respecting, American hillbilly would tote a foreign made weapon. Nor would they wear Flip Flops/Sandals. It's hunting boots or no shoes. Someone please correct me if I'm mistaken.
 
#65
#65
Jardine Brothers said:
Me and my brothers been waiting a long time to get this new football program up and running. We believe something special is bout to happen. Some fans is acting a bit skeered but aint no need to be cause things is gonna work out just fine. Pruitt and his folks gotta a lot of experience to pull from to make it right. Otis B said that those West Virginia boys gotta weak defense and Clem said that Grier is gonna have warbly legs after the Vols defense puts their first smack down on him. Any way this is my first post and I am looking forward to hanging out with my good Volunteer Friends throughout the season! Go Vols!!
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Wouldn't hurt if you run that batch back thru the thumper again!
 
#66
#66
Elvis Predicts the Vols gonna beat them west Virginia Boys 17-10!

I went squirrel huntin’ yesterday and parked next to a tree,
When a ghostly figure with a curled up lip, plopped down beside me
He said Cletus, them analyst type sayin’ the Vols cant beat them mountaineers
But they don’t know, what lies inside of Pruitt’s Volunteers

He got into a karate stance and pointed to the sky
He then said “hubba hubba” and he looked me in the eye
He twanged on his guitar strangs and said Cletus tell all your friends
That the Vols gonna beat them West Virginia boys…….. 17-10!

Go Vols!!!

He also said Daniel Bituli has a big game!
 
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#68
#68
Jardine Brothers said:
I went squirrel huntin’ yesterday and parked next to a tree,
When a ghostly figure with a curled up lip, plopped down beside me
He said Cletus, them analyst type sayin’ the Vols cant beat them mountaineers
But they don’t know, what lies inside of Pruitt’s Volunteers

He got into a karate stance and pointed to the sky
He then said “hubba hubba” and he looked me in the eye
He twanged on his guitar strangs and said Cletus tell all your friends
That the Vols gonna beat them West Virginia boys…….. 17-10!

Go Vols!!!

He also said Daniel Bituli has a big game!
Click to expand...

I wouldn't get close to squirrels if I were you because you're a nut. Cool poem, brother. I like it. :D
 
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#72
#72
I went squirrel huntin’ yesterday and parked next to a tree,
When a ghostly figure with a curled up lip, plopped down beside me
He said Cletus, them analyst type sayin’ the Vols cant beat them mountaineers
But they don’t know, what lies inside of Pruitt’s Volunteers

He got into a karate stance and pointed to the sky
He then said “hubba hubba” and he looked me in the eye
He twanged on his guitar strangs and said Cletus tell all your friends
That the Vols gonna beat them West Virginia boys…….. 17-10!

Go Vols!!!

He also said Daniel Bituli has a big game!
 
#75
#75
basspond said:
I'm not a gun expert but, the one on the right looks like a foreign made weapon. No self-respecting, American hillbilly would tote a foreign made weapon. Nor would they wear Flip Flops/Sandals. It's hunting boots or no shoes. Someone please correct me if I'm mistaken.
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It's an sks, fine product by simonov. Should have the chromium barrel. The Russian version did. Pretty sure even the norinco Chinese model had that.

If Cletus wasn't legit he became that way when he cleaned the god awful cosmoline off that bad boy. It's a labor of love I learned from a tula mosin, sks, and Wasr.

I bet cletus, (or clem there) didn't use no new boy tricks like oven cleaner or cooking it in a black plastic bag in the sun.
 
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