chuck norris jokes

[vols kick balls]

if you know any chuck norris jokes post em here

Chuck Norris's tears have the cure for cancer... to bad chuck norris never cries

guns dont kill people chuck norris kills people

when the boogeyman goes to bed at night he checks his closet for chuck norris

 

[Crew]

Chuck Norris has two speeds.

Walk and Kill. :biggrin2:

 

[chasechasechase]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father did

 

[Crew]

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

 

[milohimself]

Chuck Norris once went back in time to prevent the JFK assassination. Chuck Norris deflected Oswald's bullets with his beard, causing JFK's head to explode in sheer amazement.

 

[Jasongivm6]

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

 

[Jasongivm6]

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

 

[Crew]

Chuck Norris thinks Phil needs to stop clapping when the team screws up.


Chuck: :gun: Phil: :clapping:

 

[chasechasechase]

chuck norris can believe that it IS butter

 

[Crew]

Chuck Norris once drew a line in the sand.

....He liked it so much, he gave it a name. The Grand Canyon.

 

[rockytop muskrat]

Chuck Norris went to a frat party and everyone thought it would be fun to pee on the bathroom floor. Chuck Norris crapped on the ceiling.

 

[Josh]

Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's crap.

 

[Josh]

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

 

[OrangeEmpire]

Ray Charles once met Churck Norris and regained his site, only to lose it when Chuck Norris kicked him with a roundhouse because Ray Charles said thank you God and not thank you Chuck Norris.

 

[USAF_Vol]

Chuck Norris once had sex with a mack truck. Thus producing Optimus Prime

 

[checkerboard_charly]

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[checkerboard_charly]

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

 

[checkerboard_charly]

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

 

[checkerboard_charly]

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

 

[tidwell]

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up when he gets drunks, he throws down.

 

[chasechasechase]

 

[Volunteersfan]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did

 

[milohimself]

Chuck Norris ends relationships by saying "It's not me, it's you."

 

[MemphisVol]

Chuck Norris walked into a bar with a duck on his head. Round after round, the duck matched Chuck two shots for one. Finally, the bartender just had to ask, and the duck said, "Hell, man, now that everybody knows I've laid this, I figured who's gonna touch me- might as well get drunk."

 

[OrangeEmpire]

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees......