"Even Chuck Norris Can't Stop Darren
McFadden"
Darren McFadden's calendar goes straight from March
31st to April 2nd; no one fools Darren McFadden.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Darren
McFadden can pee his name into concrete.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9
percent of germs. Darren McFadden can kill 100 percent
of whatever the he wants.
Darren McFadden counted to infinity - twice.
Darren McFadden's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has
never cried.
Darren McFadden was originally cast as the main
character in 24, but was replaced by the producers
when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the
day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Darren McFadden can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of
Darren McFadden's sperm escaped and got into the
engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Darren McFadden died ten years ago, but the Grim
Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Superman owns a pair of Darren McFadden pajamas.
Darren McFadden puts the "laughter" in
"manslaughter".
Darren McFadden does not sleep. He waits.
Darren McFadden owns the greatest Poker Face of
all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of
Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of
Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and
a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Darren McFadden can slam revolving doors.
Darren McFadden doesn't pop his collar, his shirts
just get erections when they touch his body.
Darren McFadden sleeps with a night light. Not
because Darren McFadden is afraid of the dark, but the
dark is afraid of Darren McFadden
Darren McFadden does not hunt because the word
hunting implies the possibility of failure. Darren
McFadden goes killing.
Once a cobra bit Darren McFadden's leg. After five
days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Darren McFadden's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It
just says, "Time to kick ass."
Darren McFadden is not hung like a horse... horses
are hung like Darren McFadden
When Darren McFadden gives you the finger, he's
telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Darren McFadden doesn't have hair on his testicles,
because hair does not grow on steel.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he
checks his closet for Darren McFadden.
When Darren McFadden looks in a mirror the mirror
shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to
get in between Darren McFadden and Darren McFadden.
Giraffes were created when Darren McFadden
uppercutted a horse.
When Darren McFadden exercises, the machine gets
stronger.
Ghosts are actually caused by Darren McFadden killing
people faster than Death can process them.
Darren McFadden is the only person on the planet that
can kick you in the back of the face.
Darren McFadden doesn't use pickup lines, he simply
says, "Now."
Darren McFadden once had a heart attack; his heart
lost.
Darren McFadden can build a snowman out of rain.
Darren McFadden plays russian roulette with a fully
loded revolver... and wins.
Darren McFadden once punched a man in the soul.
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Darren
McFadden to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly
this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Darren
McFadden now looking for candy after he kicks his
victims.
Darren McFadden once had an erection while lying face
down. He struck oil.
Darren McFadden is currently suing NBC, claiming Law
and Order are trademarked names for his left and right
legs.
Darren McFadden can kill two stones with one bird.
If you can see Darren McFadden, he can see you. If
you can't see Darren McFadden you may be only seconds
away from death.
Darren McFadden did that to Michael Jackson's face.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down
Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Darren McFadden can
go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
The chief export of Darren McFadden is pain.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this
spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact
a warning, that the spot belongs to Darren McFadden
and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Darren McFadden was once the F.B.I's chief
negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and
saying, "This is Darren McFadden."
The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet
for Darren McFadden. This amuses Darren McFadden
because he is bulletproof.
The only time Darren McFadden was wrong was when he
thought he had made a mistake.
When lightning strikes Darren McFadden, Darren
McFadden strikes back.
Darren McFadden can tie his shoes with his feet.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found
a note that said, "Darren McFadden was here."
When Darren McFadden enters a room, he doesn't turn
the lights on, he turns the dark off.
A unicorn once kicked Darren McFadden. That is why
they no longer exist.
Darren McFadden used to beat the hell out of his
shadow because it was following to close. It now
stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
Darren McFadden doesn't read books. He stares them
down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Darren McFadden what time it is, he always
says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds
to what?" he replies "Till I score another touchdown."
Since Darren McFadden's birth, broken ankles due to
insane spins have increased 13,000 percent.
McFadden"
Darren McFadden's calendar goes straight from March
31st to April 2nd; no one fools Darren McFadden.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Darren
McFadden can pee his name into concrete.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9
percent of germs. Darren McFadden can kill 100 percent
of whatever the he wants.
Darren McFadden counted to infinity - twice.
Darren McFadden's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has
never cried.
Darren McFadden was originally cast as the main
character in 24, but was replaced by the producers
when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the
day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
Darren McFadden can speak braille.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of
Darren McFadden's sperm escaped and got into the
engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Darren McFadden died ten years ago, but the Grim
Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Superman owns a pair of Darren McFadden pajamas.
Darren McFadden puts the "laughter" in
"manslaughter".
Darren McFadden does not sleep. He waits.
Darren McFadden owns the greatest Poker Face of
all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of
Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of
Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and
a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Darren McFadden can slam revolving doors.
Darren McFadden doesn't pop his collar, his shirts
just get erections when they touch his body.
Darren McFadden sleeps with a night light. Not
because Darren McFadden is afraid of the dark, but the
dark is afraid of Darren McFadden
Darren McFadden does not hunt because the word
hunting implies the possibility of failure. Darren
McFadden goes killing.
Once a cobra bit Darren McFadden's leg. After five
days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Darren McFadden's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It
just says, "Time to kick ass."
Darren McFadden is not hung like a horse... horses
are hung like Darren McFadden
When Darren McFadden gives you the finger, he's
telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Darren McFadden doesn't have hair on his testicles,
because hair does not grow on steel.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he
checks his closet for Darren McFadden.
When Darren McFadden looks in a mirror the mirror
shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to
get in between Darren McFadden and Darren McFadden.
Giraffes were created when Darren McFadden
uppercutted a horse.
When Darren McFadden exercises, the machine gets
stronger.
Ghosts are actually caused by Darren McFadden killing
people faster than Death can process them.
Darren McFadden is the only person on the planet that
can kick you in the back of the face.
Darren McFadden doesn't use pickup lines, he simply
says, "Now."
Darren McFadden once had a heart attack; his heart
lost.
Darren McFadden can build a snowman out of rain.
Darren McFadden plays russian roulette with a fully
loded revolver... and wins.
Darren McFadden once punched a man in the soul.
Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Darren
McFadden to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly
this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Darren
McFadden now looking for candy after he kicks his
victims.
Darren McFadden once had an erection while lying face
down. He struck oil.
Darren McFadden is currently suing NBC, claiming Law
and Order are trademarked names for his left and right
legs.
Darren McFadden can kill two stones with one bird.
If you can see Darren McFadden, he can see you. If
you can't see Darren McFadden you may be only seconds
away from death.
Darren McFadden did that to Michael Jackson's face.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down
Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Darren McFadden can
go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
The chief export of Darren McFadden is pain.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this
spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact
a warning, that the spot belongs to Darren McFadden
and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Darren McFadden was once the F.B.I's chief
negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and
saying, "This is Darren McFadden."
The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet
for Darren McFadden. This amuses Darren McFadden
because he is bulletproof.
The only time Darren McFadden was wrong was when he
thought he had made a mistake.
When lightning strikes Darren McFadden, Darren
McFadden strikes back.
Darren McFadden can tie his shoes with his feet.
On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found
a note that said, "Darren McFadden was here."
When Darren McFadden enters a room, he doesn't turn
the lights on, he turns the dark off.
A unicorn once kicked Darren McFadden. That is why
they no longer exist.
Darren McFadden used to beat the hell out of his
shadow because it was following to close. It now
stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
Darren McFadden doesn't read books. He stares them
down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Darren McFadden what time it is, he always
says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds
to what?" he replies "Till I score another touchdown."
Since Darren McFadden's birth, broken ankles due to
insane spins have increased 13,000 percent.
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