Bear Bryant

#51
#51
GASOUTHERNVOL said:
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever
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Ive never heard that one but its freaking great!! I'll add it to my list. Thanks, and keep em' coming.
 
#53
#53
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
 
#54
#54
The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.
 
#59
#59
i dont have that luxury this week, my planning is full of pointless meetings, it ticks me off cause normally i have planning then lunch so its basically a 2 hour lunch,,,


Chuck Norris doesnt have equipment problems, equipment has chuck norris problems
 
#60
#60
Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

so vick was trying to imitate norris?
 
#62
#62
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
 
#65
#65
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
 
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