Bama Joke/Fark Thread
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Doughbelly
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Credit to an Awbern Fan ??? What is Alabama football?
It is getting serenaded with "Rocky Top" by the Minnesota band after losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.
It is losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to Tuscaloosa and still thinking you were innocent.
It is losing 3 in a row and 4 of 5 to your arch-rival and still maintaining an air of superiority.
It's being too stupid to realize your total irrelevance.
It is rolling baby, it's rolling.
It is sinking so low that you brag about being up at half-time against your archrival, and then calling your archrival a red-headed step-sister.
It is sinking so low that the best insult you can come up with for your archrival's fans is to throw sugar packets at them while they're kicking your a** on your home field...again.
It is never beating your archrival in your home stadium and claiming your archrival has an inferiority complex.
It is claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain recognizes you with more than 6.
It is making fun of your archrivals "half a national championship," when most of the ones you claim were shared.
It is claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State and Vandy.
It is claiming national championships retroactively.
It is claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
It is being more jealous of your archrival's 2 Heisman trophies than your archrival is of any of your national championships, real or imagined.
It is all about the Benjamins.
It is 5 coaches in 5 years.
It is 2 probations for cheating in less than 10 years.
It is a worse record and winning percentage than AU in the last 20 years.
It is going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a "Bowl" game.
It is moral victory after moral victory.
It is having a coach with less career wins than Tuberville got in one year.
It is knowing that your biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.
It is being mediocre for over 20 years.
It is being a national laughingstock and not even realizing it.
It is delusion, delusion, delusion..
It is counting your 1/2 MNC's as a whole.
It is accepting and claiming MNC's from any and everybody that will offer one but laughing at others that might.
It is knowing you are the best team even when you lose.
It is knowing that the refs are against you.
It is knowing that the NCAA is against you.
It is knowing that UT owns you.
It is Mike Price.
It is getting turned down by USF's coach.
It is coming off probation before the sanctions have really taken effect yet and thinking your going to win a MNC.
It is thinking THIS is the year we beat Auburn.
It is trying to make yourself believe that youre superior to Auburn.
It is trying to act like your facilities are equal to Auburn.
It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP, Texas A&M, Millsaps College, and Luverne High School.
It is having your 5th choice for HC turn you down.
It is having the Football Stadium at Duke named after a coach who used Alabama as a stepping stone.
It is asking if "Got Twelve?" refers to the number of players in your history that weren't bought and paid for.
It is watching Tommy Tuberville AND Phil Fulmer having as many SEC wins at BDS as your own Head Coach.
It is dreaming of a day when you could beat Tennessee 3 times in 15 months.
It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to your arch rival didn't make them fall in the polls.
It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn't show up again to ruin Homecoming.
It is reminiscing of Shula's Greatest Game - a win over Southern Miss.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.
It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.
It is being proudly named the "Crimson Tide" after merely tying Auburn in a football game - and broadcasting that fact to the world on your website.
It is being called "The Thin Red Line".
It is getting serenaded with "Rocky Top" by the Minnesota band after losing a 3rd-tier bowl game.
It is losing cases in courtrooms from Memphis to Tuscaloosa and still thinking you were innocent.
It is losing 3 in a row and 4 of 5 to your arch-rival and still maintaining an air of superiority.
It's being too stupid to realize your total irrelevance.
It is rolling baby, it's rolling.
It is sinking so low that you brag about being up at half-time against your archrival, and then calling your archrival a red-headed step-sister.
It is sinking so low that the best insult you can come up with for your archrival's fans is to throw sugar packets at them while they're kicking your a** on your home field...again.
It is never beating your archrival in your home stadium and claiming your archrival has an inferiority complex.
It is claiming 12 national titles when no one else with half a brain recognizes you with more than 6.
It is making fun of your archrivals "half a national championship," when most of the ones you claim were shared.
It is claiming a national championship after losing to Mississippi State and Vandy.
It is claiming national championships retroactively.
It is claiming national championships after losing your bowl game.
It is being more jealous of your archrival's 2 Heisman trophies than your archrival is of any of your national championships, real or imagined.
It is all about the Benjamins.
It is 5 coaches in 5 years.
It is 2 probations for cheating in less than 10 years.
It is a worse record and winning percentage than AU in the last 20 years.
It is going to Hawaii to get beat and calling it a "Bowl" game.
It is moral victory after moral victory.
It is having a coach with less career wins than Tuberville got in one year.
It is knowing that your biggest tradition is buying and bidding on players.
It is being mediocre for over 20 years.
It is being a national laughingstock and not even realizing it.
It is delusion, delusion, delusion..
It is counting your 1/2 MNC's as a whole.
It is accepting and claiming MNC's from any and everybody that will offer one but laughing at others that might.
It is knowing you are the best team even when you lose.
It is knowing that the refs are against you.
It is knowing that the NCAA is against you.
It is knowing that UT owns you.
It is Mike Price.
It is getting turned down by USF's coach.
It is coming off probation before the sanctions have really taken effect yet and thinking your going to win a MNC.
It is thinking THIS is the year we beat Auburn.
It is trying to make yourself believe that youre superior to Auburn.
It is trying to act like your facilities are equal to Auburn.
It is watching you go through 4 coaches in 2 years.
It is having head coaches leave for places like Duke, Kentucky, UTEP, Texas A&M, Millsaps College, and Luverne High School.
It is having your 5th choice for HC turn you down.
It is having the Football Stadium at Duke named after a coach who used Alabama as a stepping stone.
It is asking if "Got Twelve?" refers to the number of players in your history that weren't bought and paid for.
It is watching Tommy Tuberville AND Phil Fulmer having as many SEC wins at BDS as your own Head Coach.
It is dreaming of a day when you could beat Tennessee 3 times in 15 months.
It is remembering when losing by any margin at home to your arch rival didn't make them fall in the polls.
It is hoping that Northern Illinois doesn't show up again to ruin Homecoming.
It is reminiscing of Shula's Greatest Game - a win over Southern Miss.
It is offering Ole Miss walk-ons Football Scholarships.
It is sharing a home field with the Blazers.
It is being proudly named the "Crimson Tide" after merely tying Auburn in a football game - and broadcasting that fact to the world on your website.
It is being called "The Thin Red Line".
Doughbelly
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What is Bama Football
It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent boxes when the whole world can see that you don't know how to use either.
It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the Tigers and yelling "War Eagle" when you're called the Crimson Tide and have an Elephant walk the sidelines.
It is having your head football coach make less than the head basketball coach.
It is Phyllis of Mulga being the prettiest face in the Bama crowd.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and 6-6.
It is giving your head coach a contract where he can earn a bonus for winning 7 games - and the bonus remaining unpaid.
It is throwing bricks through your coach's window after a 10 win season.
It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying "well, at least we're not as bad as Alabama".
It is bragging about playing your arch rival close but losing with your third string QB, third string FB, and third string RB when just 2 years prior your arch rival beat you with their second string QB, fourth string FB, and fourth string RB on your own field.
It is "forgetting" how to pronounce "TSDTR" and forgetting to show up to the game to back it up.
It is running off the last coach that won you a National Championship.
It is recognizing that the closest your Head Coach and Quarterback will be to a ring is when they shake their father's hand.
It is threatening to leave the SEC and having no one notice.
It is pulling for Memphis because they're actually winning and they have your 150k D-lineman.
It is proclaiming your QB to be the best thing since sliced bread after he shreds Utah State, Mississippi, and Western Carolina before he gets hurt....again.
It is losing to South Carolina at home.
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.
It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.
It is having a football field that is as wilted as the football team.
It is tarnishing the legend of your greatest coach by playing an incoherent drunken sound-clip at the beginning of each football game.
It is knowing what used to be and then realizing what is.
It is being the fourth best football team in your state.
It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state government.
It is scoring 20 whole points in 3 centuries against your arch-rival on campus.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring head coaches in the nation, yet worst track record.
It is trying to convince your 15 year old son that Bama is a powerhouse because he can't remember those days.
It is being the state champion....of Mississippi....only because Auburn didn't play Southern Miss.
It is having your senior quarterback declare that his team has as much talent as Auburn, despite being 0-3 vs. Auburn and watching Auburn win 5 more games against mutual opponents over the past 3 years.
It is picking Vandy as your second SEC East rival.
It is having Vandy or Kentucky on your schedule for 50 consecutive years, until 2005's SEC rotation finally kicks them both off.
It is running up the score....against Western Carolina....and limping off the field.
It is joining Arkansas, Mississippi, and Vanderbilt as the only SEC victims of the Golden Gophers.
It is declaring that your D is "back" despite watching it give up 20 or more points to Arkansas, South Carolina, LSU, Auburn, and Minnesota - all in losing efforts.
It is scheduling a 2 game road series with Hawaii for the money.
It is watching a man with the 50 yard stare...and then realizing that he's your coach.
It is having Brittany Spears marriages outlast coach's tenures.
It is fans proudly displaying toilet paper rolls and empty detergent boxes when the whole world can see that you don't know how to use either.
It is a Million Dollar Band and a Two Million Dollar Defensive Line.
It is decades of ignorantly mocking your arch rival for being named the Tigers and yelling "War Eagle" when you're called the Crimson Tide and have an Elephant walk the sidelines.
It is having your head football coach make less than the head basketball coach.
It is Phyllis of Mulga being the prettiest face in the Bama crowd.
It is giving your head coach a contract extension after going 4-9 and 6-6.
It is giving your head coach a contract where he can earn a bonus for winning 7 games - and the bonus remaining unpaid.
It is throwing bricks through your coach's window after a 10 win season.
It is knowing that Notre Dame takes pride in saying "well, at least we're not as bad as Alabama".
It is bragging about playing your arch rival close but losing with your third string QB, third string FB, and third string RB when just 2 years prior your arch rival beat you with their second string QB, fourth string FB, and fourth string RB on your own field.
It is "forgetting" how to pronounce "TSDTR" and forgetting to show up to the game to back it up.
It is running off the last coach that won you a National Championship.
It is recognizing that the closest your Head Coach and Quarterback will be to a ring is when they shake their father's hand.
It is threatening to leave the SEC and having no one notice.
It is pulling for Memphis because they're actually winning and they have your 150k D-lineman.
It is proclaiming your QB to be the best thing since sliced bread after he shreds Utah State, Mississippi, and Western Carolina before he gets hurt....again.
It is losing to South Carolina at home.
It is having a head coach realize that the ugliest stripper in Pensacola was prettier than the Alabama coaching job.
It is running off your backup QB by playing him with a concussion.
It is having a losing record since January 1st 2000.
It is having a football field that is as wilted as the football team.
It is tarnishing the legend of your greatest coach by playing an incoherent drunken sound-clip at the beginning of each football game.
It is knowing what used to be and then realizing what is.
It is being the fourth best football team in your state.
It is refusing to play those teams unless mandated by the state government.
It is scoring 20 whole points in 3 centuries against your arch-rival on campus.
It is forfeiting games for playing an ineligible player for an entire season.
It is getting caught cheating while still on probation.
It is having the AD with the most experience hiring head coaches in the nation, yet worst track record.
It is trying to convince your 15 year old son that Bama is a powerhouse because he can't remember those days.
It is being the state champion....of Mississippi....only because Auburn didn't play Southern Miss.
It is having your senior quarterback declare that his team has as much talent as Auburn, despite being 0-3 vs. Auburn and watching Auburn win 5 more games against mutual opponents over the past 3 years.
It is picking Vandy as your second SEC East rival.
It is having Vandy or Kentucky on your schedule for 50 consecutive years, until 2005's SEC rotation finally kicks them both off.
It is running up the score....against Western Carolina....and limping off the field.
It is joining Arkansas, Mississippi, and Vanderbilt as the only SEC victims of the Golden Gophers.
It is declaring that your D is "back" despite watching it give up 20 or more points to Arkansas, South Carolina, LSU, Auburn, and Minnesota - all in losing efforts.
It is scheduling a 2 game road series with Hawaii for the money.
It is watching a man with the 50 yard stare...and then realizing that he's your coach.
It is having Brittany Spears marriages outlast coach's tenures.
Doughbelly
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What is Bama Football?
It is watching Troy play better than you against mutual opponents Utah State, South Carolina, and LSU.
It is breathing a sigh of relief, because Troy lost to Northern Illinois too!
It is bringing an offensive coordinator out of a 4 year retirement...from Tulsa...after he posted 1 winning record in 12 seasons.
It is bragging that as an OC, Shula's NFL O was ranked #29, and then realizing that the NFL only has 32 teams.
It is hiring Ray Perkins' defensive coordinator 11 years after his career peaked as HC of Arkansas...for one year.
It is prominent Bama Booster William Bradford Huie emploring the youth of Alabama to take up badminton instead of play for the corrupt University of Alabama.
It is having an ad banner up on your official website, and seeing Kia advertising to your fans.
It is preselling season DVDs because no one will want to buy them after the season.
It is having a radio announcer that will remind you of a victory 20 years ago, especially when you're not going to get one today!
It is making Kia the official Import Car of the Alabama Crimson Tide.
It is paying more to settle sexual harassment lawsuits against your coaches than you paid to build your chimes named after an all-night diner.
It is having a flea market outside your stadium on game day and calling it "atmosphere".
It is being 0-1 against Northern Illinois.
It is knowing that your coach scored more on his secretary than he did against Auburn in your home stadium.
It is calling your arch-rival's head coach Wingnut when you're the one getting screwed.
It is having Auburn's head coach given an award named after your most famous head coach, yet never winning a trophy named after a famous Auburn head coach.
It is celebrating that JetGate failed because you think Tuberville is a bad coach, only to watch him win twice against you in a year.
It is having your head coach photographed in a Darth Vader T-shirt...on a cruise for Alabama boosters.
It is watching a fat man in a Hawaiian shirt shred your defense for the third time in 5 years.
It is systematically running off the last 5 coaches that won 10 games in a season and wondering why the inept son of a coaching legend was the only man who would take the job.
It is the memory of your greatest coach losing his last Iron Bowl.
It is that horrid pregame shrill that surely must be a recording of the Bear rolling over in his grave.
It is having a local Mercedes plant but advertising that Kia is the official import car of your football team.
It is having a losing record to Phil Fulmer.
It is hiring your head coach away from being a Maitre D' at a steak-house.
It is paying 900k a year to go 10-15.
It's having a 2-3 record versus Louisiana Tech.
It is having the most coaching changes in the SEC over the last 15 years.
It is being dominated by another coach who bears a remarkable resemblance to the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
It is being turned in by the Dough Boy, then blaming him because you were cheating.
It is coming to the gross realization that you may never be a great team again because the NCAA has finally figured you out.
It is having the "Elvis Syndrome" and acting as if some one who has been dead for over 20 years...IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Alabama Football
It is watching Troy play better than you against mutual opponents Utah State, South Carolina, and LSU.
It is breathing a sigh of relief, because Troy lost to Northern Illinois too!
It is bringing an offensive coordinator out of a 4 year retirement...from Tulsa...after he posted 1 winning record in 12 seasons.
It is bragging that as an OC, Shula's NFL O was ranked #29, and then realizing that the NFL only has 32 teams.
It is hiring Ray Perkins' defensive coordinator 11 years after his career peaked as HC of Arkansas...for one year.
It is prominent Bama Booster William Bradford Huie emploring the youth of Alabama to take up badminton instead of play for the corrupt University of Alabama.
It is having an ad banner up on your official website, and seeing Kia advertising to your fans.
It is preselling season DVDs because no one will want to buy them after the season.
It is having a radio announcer that will remind you of a victory 20 years ago, especially when you're not going to get one today!
It is making Kia the official Import Car of the Alabama Crimson Tide.
It is paying more to settle sexual harassment lawsuits against your coaches than you paid to build your chimes named after an all-night diner.
It is having a flea market outside your stadium on game day and calling it "atmosphere".
It is being 0-1 against Northern Illinois.
It is knowing that your coach scored more on his secretary than he did against Auburn in your home stadium.
It is calling your arch-rival's head coach Wingnut when you're the one getting screwed.
It is having Auburn's head coach given an award named after your most famous head coach, yet never winning a trophy named after a famous Auburn head coach.
It is celebrating that JetGate failed because you think Tuberville is a bad coach, only to watch him win twice against you in a year.
It is having your head coach photographed in a Darth Vader T-shirt...on a cruise for Alabama boosters.
It is watching a fat man in a Hawaiian shirt shred your defense for the third time in 5 years.
It is systematically running off the last 5 coaches that won 10 games in a season and wondering why the inept son of a coaching legend was the only man who would take the job.
It is the memory of your greatest coach losing his last Iron Bowl.
It is that horrid pregame shrill that surely must be a recording of the Bear rolling over in his grave.
It is having a local Mercedes plant but advertising that Kia is the official import car of your football team.
It is having a losing record to Phil Fulmer.
It is hiring your head coach away from being a Maitre D' at a steak-house.
It is paying 900k a year to go 10-15.
It's having a 2-3 record versus Louisiana Tech.
It is having the most coaching changes in the SEC over the last 15 years.
It is being dominated by another coach who bears a remarkable resemblance to the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
It is being turned in by the Dough Boy, then blaming him because you were cheating.
It is coming to the gross realization that you may never be a great team again because the NCAA has finally figured you out.
It is having the "Elvis Syndrome" and acting as if some one who has been dead for over 20 years...IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
This is Alabama Football
RollTideRoll
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lol:
#10_Ainge_#10
Just blame the flu
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GOT TWELVE?
ROLL DAMN TIDE!!!
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#10_Ainge_#10
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Originally posted by BamasBack12@Oct 18, 2005 12:19 PM
Say what you want, but that girl is hot. And girls wearing the houndstooth hats with skimpy dresses to games is one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. I can't wait to see some more this Saturday while our defense punishes your pitiful offense all afternoon long. It should be a great day all around.
[snapback]167701[/snapback]
We've already got Brodie's personalized crutches ready for him! He's going to need them after Mahelona takes him down and let him eat turf for about 30 minutes
Attachments
GOT TWELVE?
ROLL DAMN TIDE!!!
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#10_Ainge_#10
Just blame the flu
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GOT TWELVE?
ROLL DAMN TIDE!!!
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tvolsfan
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A bama fan and an tenn fan were driving down the same road towards each other.
Right when they were about to pass each other they got into a horrific car accident. Luckily both men came out unscratched.
The tenn fan looked at the other man and saw that he was wearing all bama clothes, and the bamafan also noticed that the other guy was wearing all tenn clothes.
The tenn fan went up to the bamafan and said, "Look, let's put our differences aside for one night and just thank God that we are still alive!"
The bama fan says, "Sure, I can do that... but for ONLY one night."
So putting their differences aside they gave each other a huge hug.
The tenn fan said, "Wait a second, I have a bottle of liquor in my trunk. Hopefully it didn't bust." He looked in his trunk and to his surprise the bottle hadn't broken. He grabbed the bottle and passed it to the bamafan and said, "Here, have a drink with me and celebrate still being alive!"
So the bamafan chugged half the bottle. He then tried passing it back to the tenn fan but he replied, "No thanks, I'll wait for the cops to show up!"
Right when they were about to pass each other they got into a horrific car accident. Luckily both men came out unscratched.
The tenn fan looked at the other man and saw that he was wearing all bama clothes, and the bamafan also noticed that the other guy was wearing all tenn clothes.
The tenn fan went up to the bamafan and said, "Look, let's put our differences aside for one night and just thank God that we are still alive!"
The bama fan says, "Sure, I can do that... but for ONLY one night."
So putting their differences aside they gave each other a huge hug.
The tenn fan said, "Wait a second, I have a bottle of liquor in my trunk. Hopefully it didn't bust." He looked in his trunk and to his surprise the bottle hadn't broken. He grabbed the bottle and passed it to the bamafan and said, "Here, have a drink with me and celebrate still being alive!"
So the bamafan chugged half the bottle. He then tried passing it back to the tenn fan but he replied, "No thanks, I'll wait for the cops to show up!"
tvolsfan
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tvolsfan
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A graduate from Tennessee, a graduate from Alabama and a pig were in the hospital waiting room, each awaiting the birth of his first child. Suddenly, the lights went out. Fortunately, power was restored shortly thereafter and the head nurse made her way to the waiting room.
"I've got good news and bad news, gentlemen and pig," she announced. Despite the electrical outage, two healthy boys and one healthy piglet have been delivered. However, since the lights went out at the most inopportune time, we aren't sure which first-born belongs to whom. The only way we know to resolve the problem is to draw straws and have the winner choose first."
The three proud papas agreed and the tenn grad won the drawing. He was escorted into the delivery room and looked at the three newborns for a painstakingly long time. Finally, with head bowed, he scooped up the piglet and headed for the door
"Sir, are you quite certain that you've made the right choice," the nurse asked "No, I'm not," replied the tenn grad. "But I just couldn't run the risk of ending up with the alabama kid."
"I've got good news and bad news, gentlemen and pig," she announced. Despite the electrical outage, two healthy boys and one healthy piglet have been delivered. However, since the lights went out at the most inopportune time, we aren't sure which first-born belongs to whom. The only way we know to resolve the problem is to draw straws and have the winner choose first."
The three proud papas agreed and the tenn grad won the drawing. He was escorted into the delivery room and looked at the three newborns for a painstakingly long time. Finally, with head bowed, he scooped up the piglet and headed for the door
"Sir, are you quite certain that you've made the right choice," the nurse asked "No, I'm not," replied the tenn grad. "But I just couldn't run the risk of ending up with the alabama kid."
tvolsfan
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Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the woman answers, "246."
"That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the Mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss."
Next Albert introduces himself to a man and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the gentleman answers, "144." "That's great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "15."
Albert responds, "How 'bout them Crimson Tide"
"That is wonderful!," says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the Mysteries of the Universe. We will have much to discuss."
Next Albert introduces himself to a man and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the gentleman answers, "144." "That's great!," responds Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "15."
Albert responds, "How 'bout them Crimson Tide"
tvolsfan
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An Vols fan used to amuse himself by scaring every bama fan he would see strutting down the side of the road. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, and then he would swerve back on the road just before hitting them.
One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the van continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a bama fan strutting down the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the guy. Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that bam fan."
"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
One day, as the van driver was driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the priest "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to give Mass at St. Joseph's Church, about five miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in!"
The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the van continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a bama fan strutting down the road, and instinctively, he swerved as if to hit him. But as usual, just in time, he swerved back to the road, narrowly missing the guy. Even though he was certain he missed the guy, he still heard a loud "THUD."
Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors, but he didn't see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that bam fan."
"That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door."
tvolsfan
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last joke of the night.
The Volunteers and Tide were both undefeated and playing for the SEC and possible national championship.
The vols are up by 4 points with 3 seconds left. bama has a 4th and goal at the tenn 1 yard line. Mike Shula looks up to the skies and says "God, what should I call now?".
To his surprise, in a clear distinct voice, he hears "Off Tackle". So, MIke calls the "Off Tackle", and all eleven Vols meet the rb in the backfield, and bury him and the vols win.
Mike, again, looks up to the sky and says "God, why did you tell me to run "Off Tackle.
Again, in a clear voice he hears, "I don't know, why did we Coach Neyland?"
The Volunteers and Tide were both undefeated and playing for the SEC and possible national championship.
The vols are up by 4 points with 3 seconds left. bama has a 4th and goal at the tenn 1 yard line. Mike Shula looks up to the skies and says "God, what should I call now?".
To his surprise, in a clear distinct voice, he hears "Off Tackle". So, MIke calls the "Off Tackle", and all eleven Vols meet the rb in the backfield, and bury him and the vols win.
Mike, again, looks up to the sky and says "God, why did you tell me to run "Off Tackle.
Again, in a clear voice he hears, "I don't know, why did we Coach Neyland?"
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