Bad jokes. Dad jokes and whatnot

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[VolNExile]

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[Sgt_Nick_Fury]

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That or try a MFing bagel plain...

 

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[Firebirdparts]

 

[LouderVol]

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

 

[LouderVol]

What's the difference between three jokes, and three men?

Your mom doesnt like three jokes at the same time.

 

[Behr]

@Behr
This is the "Bad jokes" thread, not the "Gayest Jokes on Earth" thread.

 

[Firebirdparts]

 

[Sgt_Nick_Fury]

Bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a Gin...."
(freeze your whole body and just hold it when telling wait as long as possible to continue)
"...and tonic."

Bartender says, "sure, but why the big pause?"

(stare at your hands a moment)

"I'm a bear?"

 

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[Sgt_Nick_Fury]

Black Bear walks into a Gatlinberg bar and says, "Gimmie a beer!"

Bartender says "we don't serve bears beer in this here bar!"

Bear becomes annoyed, "Look I don't want no trouble but give me a beer now!"

Bartender restates, "We do not serve bears beer in this here bar!"

Bear looks around, it's noon, and sees an old bar hag already sipping her gin at the end of the bar and says, "Look Mr you gimmie a beer or I'm gonna maul that customer right now"

Bartender says I don't care what you do, we do not serve bears beer in this here bar!"

Bear says, "alright" goes down and proceeds to maul the woman to death.... comes back blood dripping from his chin, and says, "Last chance give me a beer"

Bartender says "We do not serve bears beer in this here bar, and we don't serve drug users either"

Bear is astonished, "Drug User?"

Bartender, "there's that barbitchuate."

 

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