Bad jokes. Dad jokes and whatnot

[malinoisvol]

What goes in Hard and Dry and comes out Soft and Wet?

Granola

 

[ALLVOL 4LIFE]

What goes in Hard and Dry and comes out Soft and Wet?

Get your minds out of the gutter. It’s chewing gum. Lol

 

[Behr]

Get your minds out of the gutter. It’s chewing gum. Lol

What's long, hard and full of seemen?

JoeVols tube socks.

 

[Behr]

Actually, they're not long at all, but I had to say that to make the joke work.

 

[Weezer]

Actually, they're not long at all, but I had to say that to make the joke work.

Last year for Halloween, Joe went as one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He wore a baby sock.

 

[Behr]

Last year for Halloween, Joe went as one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He wore a baby sock.

I appreciate you sticking with the theme of the thread. That was really b a d.

 

[Weezer]

 

[Weezer]

 

[Weezer]

 

[Weezer]

 

[Weezer]

 

[Weezer]

 

[Weezer]

 

[Quaint88]

Me: Do you know what the white stuff in bird **** is?
You: No. What is it?

Spoiler

Me: Bird ****.

 

[hmanvolfan]

Me: Do you know what the white stuff in bird **** is?
You: No. What is it?

Spoiler

Me: That’s bird**** too

Fixed that for ya.

 

[Behr]

You know when ducks and geese fly together in a V formation one "leg" of the V is always longer than the other.

You know why?

 

[Quaint88]

Fixed that for ya.

That's the way I heard it as well, but sometimes people ask

Spoiler

"What's bird **** 2?" like there's a sequel that they're unaware of.

 

[hmanvolfan]

You know when ducks and geese fly together in a V formation one "leg" of the V is always longer than the other.

You know why?

Cause they a buncha jacklegs?

 

[Behr]

Cause they a buncha jacklegs?

More birds in it.

 

[hmanvolfan]

That's the way I heard it as well, but sometimes people ask

Spoiler

"What's bird **** 2?" like there's a sequel that they're unaware of.

That’s funny.

 

[Weezer]

A man goes to the zoo. The only animal they have is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu.

 

[Weezer]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a street performer. Noticing they're having trouble seeing him, the performer steps up on a crate and asks, "Can you see me now?

They responded "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja"

 

[Weezer]

Teacher asks Little Joe, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Joe responds, "H I J K L M N O". The teacher asks Little Joe, " Where did you come up with that?" Little Joe responds, "Well yesterday you said the chemical formula for water was H to O."

 

[Behr]

Little Johnny was in school and the teacher asked him " little Johnny, who is the dumbest Fugger you know" Johnny said "Weezer".

 

[Weezer]

A large, hairy gay man is called a Behr. Coincidence?