Babylon Bee thread.

#331
#331
Trump Supporter Hilly Rae Clintock Suspected Of Inciting Riot At Capitol

Witnesses say they heard Hilly Rae saying things like: 'Boy howdy! I'm fixin' to burn this here building down!' and 'This house dun belong to me an' my kinfolk!' and 'The election was stolen from Hill-- I mean, Trump!'"

Federal authorities are offering a reward of 100,000 dollars to anyone with dirt on Hilly Rae Clintock or clues to her whereabouts. Unfortunately, everyone who has come forward so far has mysteriously disappeared.
 
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#332
#332
DEFENDTHISHOUSE said:
Biden Unveils Skin Color Chart To Determine Who Gets Federal Aid
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WILMINGTON, DE—President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress.

“Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses,” Biden informed the nation. “We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey with white males and those with melanin deficiencies cutting in from where we are placing them at the back of the line.”

Experts praised the administration’s new color chart as being very unambiguous, black-and-white even, on who the government was going to help and not help.
 
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#334
#334
Volgolfer1618 said:
New Evidence Suggests Rioter Was Actually Trump Supporter Disguised As Antifa Disguised As Trump Supporter
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#335
#335
The Babylon Bee Notices Something Familiar About Democrat States Re-Opening Their Economies

The Babylon Bee, the best satire site on the Internet, IMHO, sees something “vaguely familiar” with Democrat-run states — more than several of which have enforced month after month of draconian COVID shutdown orders — that are re-opening their economies.

The Babylon Bee Notices Something Familiar About Democrat States Re-Opening Their Economies
 
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