Sheik Yerbouti
Class of 2000
- Joined
- May 1, 2007
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Watching college football can be tough for a Vol fan. Personally, I attended UT from 1996 through 2000, and I experienced excellent college football during that time. I was, to put it lightly, spoiled. It took a lot of crushing defeats to help me come to terms with the fact that my expectations were not set at a reasonable level. That said, I am now tired of wandering in the desert, and I am ready for the Vols to return to the promised land of top-15 relevance. We can catch a glimpse of the promised land, but we don't seem to have the Lord's blessing yet to enter. Accordingly, I have mustered the following list of practical suggestions for my Vol brethren to help pass the time and ease our somewhat rocky transition back into national relevance:
- Binge-watch Oregon football games from 1994 through 2015. Oregon had a 9-4 season under Rich Brooks in 1994, who was then hired away. In 1995 began the Mike Bellotti era, and this is where I view Oregon's march to greatness as beginning. They were a bit up and down, but mostly they had a run of talented teams that just whiffed on a few games per year. Since 2010, they have been to two national championship games, although they lost both. They have been fun to watch most seasons, and I'm sure the national championships were heartbreakers. That said, it's been a good run, characterized by a high level of continuity in the identity of their head coach, and in their philosophy about football. I remember thinking, "is Oregon for real" when I was at UT. It took them a long time to get to championship level, but they stayed the course. They are an object lesson in planning, patience and program building. There's something to be learned there.
- Cleanse the campus of the Cherokee curse. Read up here if you don't know this story. I still believe that we, as a university, owe an apology and some sort of ceremony to the Cherokee Nation. It's only right. I'll organize this if someone can put me in touch with the appropriate administrators.
- Read a story from "Third Saturday in October" to our children in preparation for each game day. Get your copy of the excellent game-by-game retelling of the history of the Tennessee/Alabama rivalry here. I got mine used on Amazon for a couple of pennies. There is a lot of great history here, including the history of how the General recruited Bobby Dodd and Gene McEver to beat Vanderbilt so badly they never reemerged as a national football power again. Ever. Perhaps most importantly, this will give you some perspective on where we came from as a fan base. Didn't like the calls in a game? Brawl on the field. Couldn't finish the game in the daylight? Pull the cars up to the field, turn on the headlights and finish in the damn dark. Didn't like the refs? Run them out of town chucking stones. We were people of action. It's worth remembering.
- Organize a weekend-warrior tackle football game. You could have thrown a better pass than Dobbs? What's stopping you? Just go play football. You'll feel better.
- Actually do something positive for the coaches and team. We sometimes truly are the legions of the miserable. I challenge you to subvert expectations and send a positive or encouraging, handwritten note to your favorite player, your favorite coach, or to someone who you think needs a boost. It's worth a shot, and it doesn't take much time.
- Learn something about aerospace engineering. This is so that next time the idiot color commentator brings it up, you can say, "big deal, I'm also studying aerospace engineering." You can start here.
- Park a bunch of mobile homes on Chris Fowler's front lawn. In my estimation, we have not properly avenged the trailer-park frenzy comment. What better than a stealthy and coordinated effort to turn his lawn into a literal trailer park?
- Organize a letter writing campaign focused on Cornelius Vanderbilt's two creepy, borderline-incestuous marriages. Did you know what a creep this guy was? He married his cousin. Twice. The second time the cousin was like 43 years younger than him. Don't take my word for it; take it from Vanderbilt. Their fans are so smug; it would be nice to remind them who exactly they are celebrating every Saturday in the fall. Hint: it's a creepy perv with money.
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