Anyone got a good Rival School Joke?

#1
orangetaz

orangetaz

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#1
This is good anyone got more?

A first grade teacher explains to her
class that she is an Alabama fan.
She asks her students to raise their
hands if they are Alabama fans too.

Not really knowing what an Alabama fan
was, but wanting to be liked by their
teacher, their hands fly into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Susie
has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided
to be different.
"Because I'm not an Alabama fan" she reports.

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm an Tennessee Vols fan" boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Susie why she is an Tennessee fan

"Well, my Dad and Mom are Vols fans, so
I'm a Vols fan too" she responds.

"That's no reason," the teacher says.
"What if your mom was a moron, and
your dad was an idiot? What would you be then?"
the teacher asks..

Susie smiles and says, "Then I'd be an Alabama fan!"
 
#3
#3
An Alabama graduate was traveling through Tennessee and decided to pull over for a bite to eat. Walking up to the counter, he notices the cashier has a Tennessee hat on. He sneers and says "Alright redneck fool, give me a Big Mac and some fries!" The cashier politely says "We don't have Big Macs here." The Bama grad flies into a rage and says "Ok then, you stupid traffic cone, gimme a Whopper and some fries." The cashier calmly states "We don't have Whoppers here either." The Bama grad is almost in hysterics and says "Alright you backwoods, bumpkin Vol fan- WHAT DO YOU HAVE HERE???" The cashier rolled his eyes and said "Hardware."
 
#5
#5
A Tennessee fan and a Vanderbilt fan were in the restroom at Vanderbilt's stadium during a game. The Tennesse fan finishes first and heads to the door to not miss any of the football action. The Vandy guy says "At Vanderbilt we're taught to wash our hands after relieving ourselves" to which the Tennessee man said "At Tennessee we're taught to not pee on our hands"..
 
#6
#6
what's the difference between steve spurrier and God?
God doesn't think he's steve spurrier.

Sign over the urinal at (insert school name here, except tn)
Don't eat the big white mint.:post-4-1090547912:
 
#7
#7
Three little boys are fishing on a pier in Florida. Urban Meyer, who is there fishing too,falls into the water and hits his head on a rock and is immediately knocked unconscious. The three little boys pull him out of the water and bring him around. Meyer is so grateful that he tells the little boys to ask for anything they want and he will personally see that they get it. The first little boy says "I would like to have a basketball with Michael Jordan's autograph." Meyer says "Son, not only will you get a basketball but you will get to watch Michael Jordan sign it in person." The second little boy says "I want to go to Disney World." Meyer says "Not only will you go to Disney World, but I will pay for a week for your whole family to go." The third little boy, who is wearing a Tennessee shirt and cap, says "Get me a set of crutches, a walker, and a wheelchair." Meyer looks puzzled and says "Son, you don't look disabled to me." The little boy says "I will be when my daddy finds out I pulled you out of that water."
 
#9
#9
Anyone know what maggots and bama fans have in common?

They can both live off a dead bear for 25 years.
 
#10
#10
rjl4tnvols said:
what's the difference between steve spurrier and God?
God doesn't think he's steve spurrier.

Sign over the urinal at (insert school name here, except tn)
Don't eat the big white mint.:post-4-1090547912:
Click to expand...



You can;t spell Citrus without UT :birgits_giggle::birgits_giggle::birgits_giggle:

just kidding but obc does own the vols
 
#21
#21
One foggy night a Vols fan was heading south and a Gator fan was driving
north.

While crossing a narrow bridge they hit each other head-on, mangling both
cars.

The Vols fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage.
He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive".

Likewise, the Gator fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too, feeling
fortunate to have survived.

The Gator fan walks over to the Vol fan and says, "Hey, man, I
think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live
as friends instead of being rivals."

The Vol fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely
right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else
survived the wreck." The Vol fan then pops open the trunk of his car and
removes a full undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee sippin whiskey.

He says to the Gator fan, "I think this is another sign that we should
toast to our newfound friendship." The Gator fan agrees and grabs the bottle.
After sucking down half of the bottle, the Gator fan hands the bottle
back to the Vols fan and says, "Your turn".

The Vols fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of
the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll
just wait for the cops to show up."
 
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