Any good SC jokes????

#28
#28
Doctor Steve of the South Carolina Gamecocks had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him: "Bob, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go...."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality: "Bob, you're a vet."
 
#29
#29
Once on the Oprah Winfrey show she had a guest who was an expert in the supernatural, primarily concerned with ghosts. The expert stood up and asked the audience how many of them believed in ghosts. Almost all raised their hands. Then he asked how many had ever seen a ghost. About a dozen people raised their hands. Lastly he asked if anyone in the audience had ever had sex with a ghost. One man in the back raised his hand.

The expert asked him to stand up. He asked the man his name. The man replied, "Bubba."

"And where are you from sir," the expert asked.

"South Carolina," replied Bubba.

"And you say that you actually had sex with a ghost?"

"Ghost?" asked Bubba. "I thought you said goats".
 
#30
#30
Q: What did the S. Carolina city council do to slow the birth rate down in Columbia?
A: They outlawed family reunions.

Q: What does it mean when a S. Carolina baby drools out of both sides of its mouth?
A: It means the trailer is level.

Q: Why does a S. Carolina grad whistle while he's taking a crap?
A: So he knows which end to wipe when he's done.

Q: How can you tell if a S. Carolina grad has sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!

Q: What is the method of birth control on the S. Carolina campus?
A: Putting an X on the cows that kick!
 
#31
#31
Two S.Carolina graduates get married. Early the next morning, the father of the groom is awakened by a pounding on the front door. Standing there on the porch is the groom, extremely agitated.
The father asks "What are you doing here? You should be enjoying your honeymoon at the Motel 6."
"But Daddy, it's just awful. She's a virgin."
"Well, son, you should be proud. That's a rare thing in this day and age."
"But Daddy, if she ain't good enough for her family, she sure ain't good enough for ours."
 
#32
#32
FLVOL69 said:
Well, it's sc week and theres no other coach i love to hate like the head cock himself the ole spurdog.I'll get the ball rolling with a joke fsu fan told me.Why does Spurrier wear avisor?To hide his circumsion scars:):):)GO VOLS
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Vol Main said:
A penguin walks into a Columbia bar and asks the bartender, "Has my father been in here?"
The bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?"
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Vol Main said:
A Gamecock fan vintriloquist with a rubber chicken walks into a Columbia bar. The chicken asks the bartender, "Has my father been in here?" The Columbia bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?"
Click to expand...

Smokey1210 said:
Why does Steve. Spurior wear a visor?

To cover.his circumcision scares!
Posted via VolNation Mobile
Click to expand...
Maybe the jokes on us.... :eek:lol:
 
#33
#33
After the way this year has gone u gotta efffin laugh at something!:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:
 
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#37
#37
Masters & Johnson held a forum to discuss sexual patterns at an SEC fan convention last October 31st.They asked for a show of hands from everyone who had sex at least once a day..Mostly UT fans raised their hands..
They then asked for a show of hands if at least once a week..Most everybody raised their hands, except for any South Carolina fans...
Next they asked about once a month...Again most everybody but the SC fans..
They asked who had sex at least once every 6 months and almost everybody raised their hands again, but still no SC fans...
With exasperation, they asked if anybody got screwed at least ONCE a year and suddenly all the SC fans started frantically raising and waving their hands and wouldn't put them down or stop waving them...The folks asking the questions said they saw the hands and that they could put them down, but the SC fans just kept wavin' and wavin'...
The questioner asked why in the hell they were so excited ,to which the SC fans replied "Tonight's the night, tonight's the night!!!"
 
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