Alabama jokes

#52
#52
Why did God give a woman in Alabama one more brain cell than he did a horse?
It keeps them from shizzing in the road during a parade.
 
#53
#53
Question - What do Bama football players typically get on their SATs?

Answer - Drool
 
#56
#56
TN Tim said:
After Bear Bryant dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bear a little two-bedroom house with a faded Alabama banner hanging from the front porch.

"This is your house, coach," God says happily."Most people don't get their own houses up here."

Bear looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge, beautiful two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Tennessee flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Tennessee banner hangs between the marble columns.

"Thanks for the house, God," Bear says. "But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Neyland gets a mansion with Tennessee banners and UT flags flying all over the place. Why is that?"

God looks at him seriously for a moment, then says, "Bear, that's not the General's house. That's mine."
Click to expand...

This is the first post if the thread
 
#57
#57
volatil said:
A guy went to Tuscaloosa and picked up one of those new Mercedes. He was testing it out in the parking lot, turned on the radio and nothing happened. Furious, he demanded to see the sales manager, and told him "When I buy a $50,000 car I expect the dang radio to work." The sales manager explained to him that the radio had been programmed to his voice and all he had to do was tell the radio what he wanted to hear. He got back into the car and said "Country music," and old Willie Nelson started singing. "Rock and roll," he exclaimed, and immediately Elvis started crooning. "Easy listening," he remarked, and all at once it sounded like he was in an elevator. He was relaxed, driving up I-59 to Birmingham, and listening to smooth sounds. Then a pickup truck with two good ole boys almost ran him off the road. "Stupid rednecks!" he screamed. The radio immediately blurted out, "TOUCHdooooooooown AllaBAAAAAAAmaaa!!!!"
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:eek:lol:
 
#64
#64
Vol_Maul said:
Alabama is so good at football that they have more titles than the average resident has teeth.
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...and here's the picture...roll tide


alabama-graduation-day-funny-demotivational-poster-1278307301.jpg
 
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#67
#67
I suppose it is all in good fun, but the humor in the thought of a group of Tennessee people making redneck jokes about Alabama is classic.

I am VERY proud to say I was born and raised in Tennessee. I embrace it. I deny nothing of my heritage. In fact, some of the things that others consider "redneck" are the things I admire the most. So, I say this simply as a matter of fact.

Having spent my young life in Roane County, my teen and early adult life in Knoxville and finally in Nashville, there is NOT ONE picture, joke or anything else posted about Alabama that would not equally apply to Tennessee. Based on the things I have personally seen (some in my own family!! :) ), you could change the colors on most all of this stuff to orange and it would be absolutely equally believable.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for taking all the shots at Alabama that you can. But, the mobile home, redneck stuff just doesn't make sense to me.

Have any of you guys ever actually traveled more than 15 minutes outside of any of the "major" cities in Tennessee?
 
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#68
#68
SaintLouisVol said:
I suppose it is all in good fun, but the humor in the thought of a group of Tennessee people making redneck jokes about Alabama is classic.

I am VERY proud to say I was born and raised in Tennessee. I embrace it. I deny nothing of my heritage. In fact, some of the things that others consider "redneck" are the things I admire the most. So, I say this simply as a matter of fact.

Having spent my young life in Roane County, my teen and early adult life in Knoxville and finally in Nashville, there is NOT ONE picture, joke or anything else posted about Alabama that would not equally apply to Tennessee. Based on the things I have personally seen (some in my own family!! :) ), you could change the colors on most all of this stuff to orange and it would be absolutely equally believable.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for taking all the shots at Alabama that you can. But, the mobile home, redneck stuff just doesn't make sense to me.

Have any of you guys ever actually traveled more than 15 minutes outside of any of the "major" cities in Tennessee?
Click to expand...
You're not wrong but this IS a Tennessee board. If Bammers don't want to see them they can stay on red elephants r us.
 
#69
#69
SaintLouisVol said:
I suppose it is all in good fun, but the humor in the thought of a group of Tennessee people making redneck jokes about Alabama is classic.

I am VERY proud to say I was born and raised in Tennessee. I embrace it. I deny nothing of my heritage. In fact, some of the things that others consider "redneck" are the things I admire the most. So, I say this simply as a matter of fact.

Having spent my young life in Roane County, my teen and early adult life in Knoxville and finally in Nashville, there is NOT ONE picture, joke or anything else posted about Alabama that would not equally apply to Tennessee. Based on the things I have personally seen (some in my own family!! :) ), you could change the colors on most all of this stuff to orange and it would be absolutely equally believable.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for taking all the shots at Alabama that you can. But, the mobile home, redneck stuff just doesn't make sense to me.

Have any of you guys ever actually traveled more than 15 minutes outside of any of the "major" cities in Tennessee?
Click to expand...

rkw38 said:
You're not wrong but this IS a Tennessee board. If Bammers don't want to see them they can stay on red elephants r us.
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Exactly. Maybe this ESPN commercial will help you understand.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfrGaTV217g[/youtube]
 
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#70
#70
SaintLouisVol said:
I suppose it is all in good fun, but the humor in the thought of a group of Tennessee people making redneck jokes about Alabama is classic.

I am VERY proud to say I was born and raised in Tennessee. I embrace it. I deny nothing of my heritage. In fact, some of the things that others consider "redneck" are the things I admire the most. So, I say this simply as a matter of fact.

Having spent my young life in Roane County, my teen and early adult life in Knoxville and finally in Nashville, there is NOT ONE picture, joke or anything else posted about Alabama that would not equally apply to Tennessee. Based on the things I have personally seen (some in my own family!! :) ), you could change the colors on most all of this stuff to orange and it would be absolutely equally believable.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for taking all the shots at Alabama that you can. But, the mobile home, redneck stuff just doesn't make sense to me.

Have any of you guys ever actually traveled more than 15 minutes outside of any of the "major" cities in Tennessee?
Click to expand...

If we say it about them first then we win. Pretty simple concept.:)
 
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#72
#72
Losing to Vanderbilt 41 - 18 is way funnier than all of the previous jokes in this thread combined! My grand kids will still be laughing over that one. :birgits_giggle:
 
#73
#73
TuskALoosa said:
Losing to Vanderbilt 41 - 18 is way funnier than all of the previous jokes in this thread combined! My grand kids will still be laughing over that one. :birgits_giggle:
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Well, if memories last that long, I have only one thing to say:

1984.
 
#74
#74
SaintLouisVol said:
I suppose it is all in good fun, but the humor in the thought of a group of Tennessee people making redneck jokes about Alabama is classic.

I am VERY proud to say I was born and raised in Tennessee. I embrace it. I deny nothing of my heritage. In fact, some of the things that others consider "redneck" are the things I admire the most. So, I say this simply as a matter of fact.

Having spent my young life in Roane County, my teen and early adult life in Knoxville and finally in Nashville, there is NOT ONE picture, joke or anything else posted about Alabama that would not equally apply to Tennessee. Based on the things I have personally seen (some in my own family!! :) ), you could change the colors on most all of this stuff to orange and it would be absolutely equally believable.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for taking all the shots at Alabama that you can. But, the mobile home, redneck stuff just doesn't make sense to me.

Have any of you guys ever actually traveled more than 15 minutes outside of any of the "major" cities in Tennessee?
Click to expand...

It is, indeed, ironic that residents of the Deep South (and Tennessee doesn't really belong in that category from a purely geographical perspective) brandish the same insults in labelling each other as rednecks, hillbillies, inbred, etc.

I know that I will be considered a heretic by some for making this statement but the lyrics of "Rocky Top" reinforce every conceivable stereotype extant pertaining to rural Appalachia. The melody is catchy but the lyrics are a public relations nightmare.
 
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#75
#75
TuskALoosa said:
Losing to Vanderbilt 41 - 18 is way funnier than all of the previous jokes in this thread combined! My grand kids will still be laughing over that one. :birgits_giggle:
Click to expand...
The Almighty Saban lost to a directional school his first year at Bama. Was it Northern Illinois or one of the Louisiana directional schools? At least Vanderbilt is in the SEC and regardless what some on here believe, they have a darn good football coach while we had the worst coach in the history of the University of Tennessee.
 
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