Alabama Joke Time again, VN!

#28
#28
Did you hear that the University of Alabama Library burned down?

Yea, both books and one of them wasn't even colored in yet.
 
#29
#29
A Tennessee fan, Vandy fan, and Bama fan are all running from the cops. They find an old abandoned barn out in the country and decide to hide there. When they see the police cars roll up they each jump into a potatoe sack. When the police enter they kick the sack that contains the Tennessee fan and they hear RUFF RUFF, they then kick the sack containing the Vandy fan and they hear MEOW MEOW. They proceed to kick the sack containing the Bama fan and they hear POTATOE POTATOE.
 
#30
#30
In Alabama What does a divorce and a tornado have in common?

In either case someone is going to loose a trailor.
 
#31
#31
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5..."

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.
 
#33
#33
If you see an ALABAMA fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?
It could be your bike
 
#34
#34
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in alabama?
If it was invented anywhere else it would be a teethbrush.
 
#36
#36
One day in an elementary school in Tuscaloosa, AL, a teacher asks her class if the Alabama Crimson Tide are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes, except for Little Jimmy.

The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"

Little Jimmy says, "The Tennessee Volunteers "

The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Volunteer fan, my mom is a Volunteer fan, I guess that makes me a Volunteer fan."

The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"

Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me an Alabama fan."
 
#37
#37
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama? If it were invented anywhere else, it would be called the teethbrush.

What do you call a 14 year old virgin girl in Alabama? The girl that can out run her brothers.

"Now that there is funny, I don't care who you are".
 
#38
#38
What do you get when a redneck in alabama wife divorces him and all she left behind was the dog?
 

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#40
#40
Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Tuscaloosa?

A: Knoxville: 187 Miles



Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Alabama, a Tennessee grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Tennessee grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Volunteers!" and pushed the Crimson Tide fan off the side of the mountain.
 
#41
#41
Why do all the trees in TN lean south?

Because KY blows & AL sucks.


What's the best thing in AL?

I-65 North
 
#42
#42
During a recruiting trip to Alabama Lane kiffin, Monte Kiffin and Ed Orgeron goes into a bar. After drinking several rounds Lane and Monte begin to argue about who has the biggest penis. Ed who was not drinking alcahol, only red bull and dipping coffee grinds, grunts "yaww yaww yaww whip em out and lay them on the bar and we will see".

In walks Nick Saban from a long day of meeting with the NCAA who ruled they must forfeit 21 victories and recieved 3 years probation. The bartender asks " what wiil you have nick?" Saban replies " well I came in for a Strawberry daiquiri but I believe I will have the buffet."
 
#45
#45
Railroad Vol said:
During a recruiting trip to Alabama Lane kiffin, Monte Kiffin and Ed Orgeron goes into a bar. After drinking several rounds Lane and Monte begin to argue about who has the biggest penis. Ed who was not drinking alcahol, only red bull and dipping coffee grinds, grunts "yaww yaww yaww whip em out and lay them on the bar and we will see".

In walks Nick Saban from a long day of meeting with the NCAA who ruled they must forfeit 21 victories and recieved 3 years probation. The bartender asks " what wiil you have nick?" Saban replies " well I came in for a Strawberry daiquiri but I believe I will have the buffet."
Click to expand...

?????????
 
#46
#46
what is a mile long and has an @$$ hole every foot?

alabama's homecoming parade.


How do you get an alabama girl out of her dorm room?

grease her thighs
 
#47
#47
How are weed and the Alabama football team alike?

They both get smoked in a bowl!
 
#48
#48
A Tennessee, a Auburn, and an Alabama football player were traveling in the middle east and strayed into Iran, They were sentenced to the firing squad. The Tennessee guy was placed against the wall READY...AIM...He hollered TIDAL WAVE, They turned around and looked and he climbed the wall and got away. The Auburn guy was placed against the wall READY...AIM...He hollered TORNADO, They turned and looked and he climbed the wall and got away. The Alabama guy had been watching and thought he had it figured out. He was placed against the wall READY...AIM...He hollered FIRE.
 
#49
#49
The funniest thing to me about Alabama is when i went to Talladega one year. It was after Tony Stewart was asked in an interview which track didn't he like. He said
"Talladega"
"Why?"
"Because it's in Alabama"
Then at a souvenir stand a guy was screamin 'Don't buy Tony's stuff, he don't like Alabamer' But to top it off there was a port a potty in the back of a truck painted orange and in black letters it said "Tony turd, go home"

Good grief those people never cease to amaze me.
 
#50
#50
rmsmith said:
The funniest thing to me about Alabama is when i went to Talladega one year. It was after Tony Stewart was asked in an interview which track didn't he like. He said
"Talladega"
"Why?"
"Because it's in Alabama"
Then at a souvenir stand a guy was screamin 'Don't buy Tony's stuff, he don't like Alabamer' But to top it off there was a port a potty in the back of a truck painted orange and in black letters it said "Tony turd, go home"

Good grief those people never cease to amaze me.
Click to expand...


i knew that there was a reason i liked Tony Stewart.


What does a bama cheerleader say after sex?


so are you gonna raise me allowance now dad?
 
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