armchair
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The gray area is when a woman and a man are spending time together in house or apartment: they are hanging out, maybe they've met in a bar or are on a first or early date. They want to get to know each other; maybe one is infatuated with the other, or both are infatuated; maybe they've been drinking--yep. The woman likes the guy, is happy to kiss, let's say--but she doesn't have sex on her mind. She doesn't want to foul up a potential relationship by appearing too prudish--she likes the guy, after all, but she wants to get to know him better before going too far. She's OK with fooling around a bit--but doesn't want sex. The guy interprets the woman being in his apartment, say, and kissing, say, fooling around, say, as wanting to go all the way--and it is easy to think that when you're a testosterone surging horn dog--and so he goes for all the way. The woman resists but the man "forces himself on her." That was an expression that was used frequently in the past--"he forced himself on me." That essentially meant, he raped me. That's a gray area. The fooling around is consensual; the sex isn't. In the past, people used to shrug it off--it's what happens if a woman gets drunk and starts fooling around with a man. Not anymore. Now, forcing yourself on somebody is felony rape--and yet inebriated young people have found themselves in variations of this situation since cavemen walked the earth (and you can bet that cavemen forced themselves on cavewoman!). Indeed, it is the classic young person's romantic cliff walk--who hasn't been in it a number of times. Of course a lot of young women are looking for sex, just like the guy--but some aren't. And then there is the question of, how much resistance was there? One little push and then happy capitulation--or real fear and fight and horror? Generally, if a woman goes to a hospital or goes to the police, you've obviously got a serious situation--as who does that if the sex was consensual?