After Reflecting On Some Of Yesterday's Discourse...

#1
hatvol96

hatvol96

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#1
and almost becoming nauseated at a couple of Fulmerite posts about "tradition" and "history," I have come up with a checklist of what I would like the next head coach to do.
1. Immediately introduce black as a primary uniform color.
2. Explain that checkerboards are for old men sitting on the porch at Cracker Barrell and have the end zones painted in modern fashion.
3. Disband the Pride of the Southland and replace them with Motorhead.
4. Tear the Neyland Maxims off the wall and replace them with a simple sign saying: Arrive. Dominate. Humiliate. Repeat.
5. Tell the Knoxville media that any inane questions or attempts to curry favor will result in loss of press box dining access.
6. 12 year old looking cheerleaders replaced with entertainers flown in from the Las Vegas location of the Spearmint Rhino or Scores New York.
7. With the exception of the retired numbers of combat casualties, only signs or banners related to team accomplishments will be posted in the stadium.
8. Sign a clothing deal with Armani or Zegna to provide sideline attire.
9. Fire all football staffers with previous ties to Tennessee.
10. Replace Smokey with a pit bull bred at Bad Newz Kennels.
 
#3
#3
I think all the dogs from Bad Newz have been put down but I'll stop by the SPCA and check.

And #6 would be a great fundraiser!
 
#7
#7
No need to remove the Maxims. All they basically preach is the fundamentals of football. If this team were able to live up the Maxims, we wouldn't have been humiliated twice. I'm not saying we would have beaten Cal or Florida, but we wouldn't have looked foolish.

All the talk about tradition is really just more ammo in the war against Fulmer. He's not living up to the tradition that has produced the best UT teams.
 
#9
#9
hatvol96 said:
7. With the exception of the retired numbers of combat casualties, only signs or banners related to team accomplishments will be posted in the stadium.
Click to expand...

Absolutely. I loved the uniqueness of UT retiring the numbers of true heroes and no one else.
 
#10
#10
I could live with a decent Smokey dog and the cessation of force-fed LED advertising.
 
#14
#14
I envision a complete overhaul of the old culture, similar to what Jones and Johnson brought to Dallas when Landry, Schramm, and the rest of those dinosaurs were iced.
 
#15
#15
hatvol96 said:
I envision a complete overhaul of the old culture, similar to what Jones and Johnson brought to Dallas when Landry, Schramm, and the rest of those dinosaurs were iced.
Click to expand...

Some tradition is nice I agree, but I also agree that change is inevitable.
 
#16
#16
hatvol96 said:
I envision a complete overhaul of the old culture, similar to what Jones and Johnson brought to Dallas when Landry, Schramm, and the rest of those dinosaurs were iced.
Click to expand...

Come on, hat. Changing all that stuff isn't going to make things better. I remember a few posters claiming that the return of the double stripe pants last year was a harbinger of UT's return to glory. It wasn't. Getting rid of checkerboard endzones isn't going to have anymore of an effect.
 
#17
#17
i'm pretty sure you're going overboard for the purpose of re-stating that UT needs a complete overhaul. No reason to replace the tradition though. Just live up to it.
 
#21
#21
Bluetick hound replaced with a pitbull.Well at least if we didn't win we could sick him on the opposing team.
 
#22
#22
Ridding the program of those archaic traditions would make it clear today and tomorrow matter and yesterday is irrelevant.
 
#23
#23
The stadium goes dark all of the sudden BOOM fireworks and the ROCK says CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE VOLS ARE COOKIN!!!!!
 
#25
#25
Not to the fans yammering about the need to hire someone who understands the "traditions" of UT football.
 
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