2016 Vols commit Darel Middleton disappears?

#126
#126
I can honestly post this from personal experience.

I went through my whole life having all the fun in the world, living life to the fullest, future plans, excited for new events... One day a few years ago (I was 18 at the time) I felt a change I couldn't describe to doctors going on and it got worse to the point I thought I would die. Now here I am with severe GAD, (anxiety), depression and the works. Didn't ask for it, didn't see it coming. Spend my days now with an indescribable feeling that just won't go away nagging at me and wondering if ill have a future. For absolutely no reason. But to MY mind there is a reason.

All people around that haven't experienced it can tell me is "get over it it's in your head" if only it were that easy. There wouldn't be suicides if it were easy. Do you think it's because they are idiots or too big of a sissy to deal with it? You ever thought about how hard it would be to do that to yourself? Why would they just do it... I've lived it an no one knows what's going on in his head.

Btw... It will cause a bad attitude out of nowhere and not wanna talk to anyone. There's times I can't even talk without losing it. I doubt a kid his size with his talents is throwing it away for the hell of it. Just my 2 cents.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
#127
#127
WoodsmanVol said:
One size doesn't fit all, son. Fact is, you, me, nobody here knows what's really going on. So being judgmental about is hypocrisy, presumptuous, and vainglorious. He could be kicking himself in the rear, destroying a vast opportunity. He could have a family situation that's h3ll. Until you've walked a mile in his shoes, best thing to do is shut up. And hope whatever it is, gets straightened out for him before it's too late. Got that much character in you, bub?
Click to expand...

First off, I'm not your son.

Secondly, yeah, some people really do have a good idea of what is going on because they are close enough to have seen it.
 
#128
#128
UTProf said:
I haven't attacked you although you've gotten piffy with me more than once. I have asked you questions regarding what you're trying to convey -- nothing more or less. It's your contention that this is important. Fine. If you want to explain why go ahead but if not I'm not going to draw conclusions from innuendo about someone I don't know. A school conference can be a big deal or no big deal at all.
Click to expand...

Point being - if you are an educator then you should have an idea of how discipline issues are dealt with, even at the high school level.

If that's piffy in your book, then so be it. I will be the first to admit that I am not a politically correct person nor do I have any respect for those who believe and act like they are bigger than the team - at any level.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
#129
#129
BruiserVol said:
I can honestly post this from personal experience.

I went through my whole life having all the fun in the world, living life to the fullest, future plans, excited for new events... One day a few years ago (I was 18 at the time) I felt a change I couldn't describe to doctors going on and it got worse to the point I thought I would die. Now here I am with severe GAD, (anxiety), depression and the works. Didn't ask for it, didn't see it coming. Spend my days now with an indescribable feeling that just won't go away nagging at me and wondering if ill have a future. For absolutely no reason. But to MY mind there is a reason.

All people around that haven't experienced it can tell me is "get over it it's in your head" if only it were that easy. There wouldn't be suicides if it were easy. Do you think it's because they are idiots or too big of a sissy to deal with it? You ever thought about how hard it would be to do that to yourself? Why would they just do it... I've lived it an no one knows what's going on in his head.

Btw... It will cause a bad attitude out of nowhere and not wanna talk to anyone. There's times I can't even talk without losing it. I doubt a kid his size with his talents is throwing it away for the hell of it. Just my 2 cents.
Click to expand...
First, sorry you are dealing with something like this. I can't imagine how hard that is.

Secondly, you may be right regarding Darel, but having seen him a lot over two years it seems more like he needs to grow up and mature. There are countless examples of kids with the world in their hands that throw it away. Maybe there is something going on that none of us know about and if so I hope it gets straightened out. However, IMO, I think this is just another example of people making excuses for his behavior. He's still very young and can turn this around, but his character needs a lot of work right now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
#130
#130
I don't know anything about the kid or his situation but I do know none of his issues get solved by a bunch of idiots arguing on the internet.

So later rednecks.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#131
#131
It's never completely gone, but you learn to deal with it. Time is the best healer. I hope he has support, because it makes all the difference. If it is jus an attitude problem, clashing with him will do nothing but make it worse. Someone needs to really light a fire under him in the right direction while it's early.
 
#132
#132
VolBraniac said:
I'm with you, you're doing a helluva job.
Click to expand...

Aren't you so clever, you little braniac, you. Quoting my post then editing it to say something completely different. I'm surprised no one on VN has ever had the intelligence to try that before. Your mom is so proud.

Thanks for adding nothing to the conversation.
 
#133
#133
DaddyChad said:
I don't know anything about the kid or his situation but I do know none of his issues get solved by a bunch of idiots arguing on the internet.

So later rednecks.
Click to expand...

Thanks for stopping by! Enjoyed your contribution!
 
#134
#134
Headfootballcoach said:
The kid has a mother who is trying very hard. She is a single mother with other children in the household. She tries to set rules. Darel does what he wants to do. For example, when mom goes to work Darel runs the neighborhood against moms requests. I have seen his mother reach out to others for help.
Click to expand...

Finally, someone provides a nugget of an inside look at this kid's life. Thank you. And I'm not being a smartass with this post, so please don't get offended. He comes from a broken home. You've provided a piece to the puzzle that is Darel Middleton. Has anyone responded to the mother's request for help? I understand you may not know, but at least she recognizes there is a problem of some sort and is attempting to fix it.
 
#135
#135
BruiserVol said:
I can honestly post this from personal experience.

I went through my whole life having all the fun in the world, living life to the fullest, future plans, excited for new events... One day a few years ago (I was 18 at the time) I felt a change I couldn't describe to doctors going on and it got worse to the point I thought I would die. Now here I am with severe GAD, (anxiety), depression and the works. Didn't ask for it, didn't see it coming. Spend my days now with an indescribable feeling that just won't go away nagging at me and wondering if ill have a future. For absolutely no reason. But to MY mind there is a reason.

All people around that haven't experienced it can tell me is "get over it it's in your head" if only it were that easy. There wouldn't be suicides if it were easy. Do you think it's because they are idiots or too big of a sissy to deal with it? You ever thought about how hard it would be to do that to yourself? Why would they just do it... I've lived it an no one knows what's going on in his head.

Btw... It will cause a bad attitude out of nowhere and not wanna talk to anyone. There's times I can't even talk without losing it. I doubt a kid his size with his talents is throwing it away for the hell of it. Just my 2 cents.
Click to expand...

My personal favorite, "You just need to think more positive!" Yep, like it's that easy. I've lived it for many years. Every day you just have to find something to hold onto, something to pull you into the next day. Then you start again. And it's like no one really wants to believe it exists because they can't understand it. I've been there, hell, I am there, so know you're not alone. I'd say take comfort in it, but I know I don't really find comfort in knowing others experience the same kind of hell. This is not something you wish upon others, so when you see the possibility of it existing in others, especially a high school kid, you feel the need to point it out in hopes that if he does have a similar issue, he can get help before he does something he can never take back.
 
#136
#136
jps2194 said:
Sorry, I still don't follow what you are saying by do I want that crap at UT? No, I don't want that crap at UT - read my posts? If he turns his life around and matures / grows up, then sure. Otherwise, UT needs to move on.

Regarding nothing to fix it, multiple people have tried to help him to no avail. Right now he has a me first attitude and is only concerned with himself. I'm sure he's been told for a long time how great he is and has probably got that prima donna attitude. Certainly maturity will help - but then again look at T.O.

I've stated multiple times (in the recruiting thread) that I hope he turns it around. He had actually shown positive signs towards the end of the football season right before he got kicked off the team for the last time. His effort on the field had improved and he wore our QB's jersey the game after he tore his ACL. He was finally showing some leadership and effort and then BOOM - got kicked off again. It's sad really - with his attributes he could dominate if he will fix it between the ears.

I hope he learns from this and matures. He had been a model athlete on the b-ball team until he went awol.
Click to expand...

We're on the same side!
 
#139
#139
jps2194 said:
Yet that is exactly what you did :p
Click to expand...

To a degree, I guess. I'm just hopeful there is more to him acting out than he's just not a good kid. I would like to believe he can get better, be it a mental issue or an attitude problem. I think attitude problems are harder to fix. Well, not harder to fix, just less likely to be acknowledged as a problem by the sufferer. My personal experience, and what I've gotten from others with similar conditions, we know we have problems and we try to fix them, or at least find a way to live with them without bringing harm to others. Knowing you have a mental problem gives you at least some power to fight it. People with attitude problems generally just don't care, so they never try to "get better". I can't wish my problems away, but I know I have a disease that causes me to think differently, so I combat it. People with attitude problems don't approach the problem the same way. Of course, the first step to fixing any problem is knowing and acknowledging you have a problem.

I just don't want to see a 15-16 year old kid shredded on a mb when there might be more to the problem than anyone knows. I understand some of you believe you "know" things based on your proximity to the situation. I've known kids that kept major problems hidden from their families. If they can hide such things from people around them 24/7, why is it so hard to grasp they could hide it from other adults? And honestly, people asserting they "know" things does not help this kid. Those people have already passed judgement and washed their hands of the kid. If this were your kid, would you want people to give up on him? And yes, I understand you're there for your child, so the situation is different, but it's been stated this kid comes from a single parent home. If for some reason you weren't there, wouldn't you hope someone would step up and help your kid? Every kid needs a support system. I hope Mr. Middleton finds one.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#140
#140
Weezer said:
To a degree, I guess. I'm just hopeful there is more to him acting out than he's just not a good kid. I would like to believe he can get better, be it a mental issue or an attitude problem. I think attitude problems are harder to fix. Well, not harder to fix, just less likely to be acknowledged as a problem by the sufferer. My personal experience, and what I've gotten from others with similar conditions, we know we have problems and we try to fix them, or at least find a way to live with them without bringing harm to others. Knowing you have a mental problem gives you at least some power to fight it. People with attitude problems generally just don't care, so they never try to "get better". I can't wish my problems away, but I know I have a disease that causes me to think differently, so I combat it. People with attitude problems don't approach the problem the same way. Of course, the first step to fixing any problem is knowing and acknowledging you have a problem.

I just don't want to see a 15-16 year old kid shredded on a mb when there might be more to the problem than anyone knows. I understand some of you believe you "know" things based on your proximity to the situation. I've known kids that kept major problems hidden from their families. If they can hide such things from people around them 24/7, why is it so hard to grasp they could hide it from other adults? And honestly, people asserting they "know" things does not help this kid. Those people have already passed judgement and washed their hands of the kid. If this were your kid, would you want people to give up on him? And yes, I understand you're there for your child, so the situation is different, but it's been stated this kid comes from a single parent home. If for some reason you weren't there, wouldn't you hope someone would step up and help your kid? Every kid needs a support system. I hope Mr. Middleton finds one.[/Q
He should still be held to the same standerds as any other kid.
Click to expand...
 
#141
#141
If this kid lived in Alabama and was a potential 5 star commit to bama, with all the stories of his attitude issues, would they still blindly defend him?

If the kid came from a broken home, believes he doesn't need help, argues with those that try to help him and bullies others then it's not about football anymore. It's about a kid screaming for help on the inside but thinks he doesn't need it on the outside. He's the product if his environment. The lack of discipline because of a broken home, the possible greatness of his abilities (pride/self worth), the music, tv, friends, and "so called mentors" in his life can/could have created a stubborn, pride filled, arrogant minded heart. If that is the foundation of his beliefs then the kid needs to fall hard, really hard to see those walls torn down before someone can reach him again. Wether that comes before HS ends or after he loses everything I pray he figures it out before he leaves this earth.

This coming from someone who found out the hard way. Yes I was diagnosed with bipolar issues, ADHD, and obsessive compulsive by doctors and therapists. Instead of pills I would take for the rest of my life, I changed my diet, thinking, what I listened too, who I hung around with, what I ate, and God's mercy... My whole way of life. My wife was my strength and stuck by me even when she feared my outburst. It took her leaving me and seriously considering suicide (with a knife in my hand throughout a whole night and a slightly cut wrist) to realize my life needed a big change. Everything in my life is now Blessed and I have Joy, Peace, and Wisdom to control who I am. When I start to see a bad change again I go back and see what I'm doing to cause it. Pills are good for a lot of things and they can hide real issues in other things.

You should see my points but if you don't I can't explain it to you any other way. You just desire to reject it or don't believe it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
#144
#144
SolidRockGolf said:
If this kid lived in Alabama and was a potential 5 star commit to bama, with all the stories of his attitude issues, would they still blindly defend him?

If the kid came from a broken home, believes he doesn't need help, argues with those that try to help him and bullies others then it's not about football anymore. It's about a kid screaming for help on the inside but thinks he doesn't need it on the outside. He's the product if his environment. The lack of discipline because of a broken home, the possible greatness of his abilities (pride/self worth), the music, tv, friends, and "so called mentors" in his life can/could have created a stubborn, pride filled, arrogant minded heart. If that is the foundation of his beliefs then the kid needs to fall hard, really hard to see those walls torn down before someone can reach him again. Wether that comes before HS ends or after he loses everything I pray he figures it out before he leaves this earth.

This coming from someone who found out the hard way. Yes I was diagnosed with bipolar issues, ADHD, and obsessive compulsive by doctors and therapists. Instead of pills I would take for the rest of my life, I changed my diet, thinking, what I listened too, who I hung around with, what I ate, and God's mercy... My whole way of life. My wife was my strength and stuck by me even when she feared my outburst. It took her leaving me and seriously considering suicide (with a knife in my hand throughout a whole night and a slightly cut wrist) to realize my life needed a big change. Everything in my life is now Blessed and I have Joy, Peace, and Wisdom to control who I am. When I start to see a bad change again I go back and see what I'm doing to cause it. Pills are good for a lot of things and they can hide real issues in other things.

You should see my points but if you don't I can't explain it to you any other way. You just desire to reject it or don't believe it.
Click to expand...
Well said and congratulations on turning your life around. Awesome post! It's a shame a lot of troubled young people don't get the clarity you received and take control of their situation and turn it into a positive.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#145
#145
jps2194 said:
Well said and congratulations on turning your life around. Awesome post! It's a shame a lot of troubled young people don't get the clarity you received and take control of their situation and turn it into a positive.
Click to expand...

Not trying to be a smartass, but there is nothing positive about BPD. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but it's one of those things I have to re-enforce. As for taking control, that is not an easy thing to do. Some people have the make-up to do it while others just don't. It has nothing to do with one person being stronger willed than the other and everything to do with the mental tools you have at your disposal. BPD is BPD, but every person is unique in the way their mind confronts the situation. You cannot look at how one person copes and expect another to be able to do the same. That's not the way mental illness works.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#146
#146
SolidRockGolf said:
If this kid lived in Alabama and was a potential 5 star commit to bama, with all the stories of his attitude issues, would they still blindly defend him?

If the kid came from a broken home, believes he doesn't need help, argues with those that try to help him and bullies others then it's not about football anymore. It's about a kid screaming for help on the inside but thinks he doesn't need it on the outside. He's the product if his environment. The lack of discipline because of a broken home, the possible greatness of his abilities (pride/self worth), the music, tv, friends, and "so called mentors" in his life can/could have created a stubborn, pride filled, arrogant minded heart. If that is the foundation of his beliefs then the kid needs to fall hard, really hard to see those walls torn down before someone can reach him again. Wether that comes before HS ends or after he loses everything I pray he figures it out before he leaves this earth.

This coming from someone who found out the hard way. Yes I was diagnosed with bipolar issues, ADHD, and obsessive compulsive by doctors and therapists. Instead of pills I would take for the rest of my life, I changed my diet, thinking, what I listened too, who I hung around with, what I ate, and God's mercy... My whole way of life. My wife was my strength and stuck by me even when she feared my outburst. It took her leaving me and seriously considering suicide (with a knife in my hand throughout a whole night and a slightly cut wrist) to realize my life needed a big change. Everything in my life is now Blessed and I have Joy, Peace, and Wisdom to control who I am. When I start to see a bad change again I go back and see what I'm doing to cause it. Pills are good for a lot of things and they can hide real issues in other things.

You should see my points but if you don't I can't explain it to you any other way. You just desire to reject it or don't believe it.
Click to expand...

Would I defend this kid if he was a Bama recruit? Yes. For me, it's not about football, it's about the kid. And at 15-16 years of age, that's what he is, a kid. He's almost a young man, but not quite there yet. Now, if he killed someone, I would absolutely look at this in a different light, but right now, from what I've read, this is a kid acting out. The question is why? Could he be a bad seed with a poor work ethic? Yes, he could. Could there be something wrong with him mentally or emotionally, yes, there could. If it's the former, I agree that a hard fall is his only hope of realization, but even that's not a guarantee. If it's the latter, I pray this kid finds out while he still has a future to save. Too many young people are falling through the cracks of society. Or maybe they've always fallen through and my age is what causes me to see it now. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a bleeding heart hoping to see someone avoid unneccessary pain. To wax philosophical for a moment, there are already too many broken souls in this world.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#147
#147
Weezer said:
Not trying to be a smartass, but there is nothing positive about BPD. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but it's one of those things I have to re-enforce. As for taking control, that is not an easy thing to do. Some people have the make-up to do it while others just don't. It has nothing to do with one person being stronger willed than the other and everything to do with the mental tools you have at your disposal. BPD is BPD, but every person is unique in the way their mind confronts the situation. You cannot look at how one person copes and expect another to be able to do the same. That's not the way mental illness works.
Click to expand...
Good grief - please give it a rest. Surely you (and everyone else) understood I was referring to him turning around his life and not all troubled youth have bipolar disorder. You've beat this dead horse to death. Let it lie for the sake of this thread - PLEASE.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
#148
#148
jps2194 said:
Good grief - please give it a rest. Surely you (and everyone else) understood I was referring to him turning around his life and not all troubled youth have bipolar disorder. You've beat this dead horse to death. Let it lie for the sake of this thread - PLEASE.
Click to expand...

If he had a bipolar disorder, it would be well known around his school. It would be known to us also.
 
#149
#149
Burger said:
If he had a bipolar disorder, it would be well known around his school. It would be known to us also.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily. In my days, I've seen kids either misdiagnosed or outright labelled: anti-social, stupid, mentally retarded and worse. Kids who happened to be deaf, suffering from painful toothaches cause family couldn't afford a dentist, visually impaired, had urinary tract infections and so on. But some know-it -all expert or presumed expert, or self-assumed expert labeled them as (you name it) and created a stymied kid. Often, it took someone who really knew what they were doing or a highly sympathetic teacher, counselor, or even in two cases I know, a janitor to act against policy and get the kid the real help s/he needed. Indeed, this recently happened a few weeks ago and the teacher was reprimanded, fired, but the school got such negative publicity they hire her back. So no, it doesn't necessarily mean the condition would be well-known. If I hadn't seen the things I've seen over years, I'd be 100% agreement with you. Trouble is, I have seen the opposite of what you say too many times.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
#150
#150
WoodsmanVol said:
Not necessarily. In my days, I've seen kids either misdiagnosed or outright labelled: anti-social, stupid, mentally retarded and worse. Kids who happened to be deaf, suffering from painful toothaches cause family couldn't afford a dentist, visually impaired, had urinary tract infections and so on. But some know-it -all expert or presumed expert, or self-assumed expert labeled them as (you name it) and created a stymied kid. Often, it took someone who really knew what they were doing or a highly sympathetic teacher, counselor, or even in two cases I know, a janitor to act against policy and get the kid the real help s/he needed. Indeed, this recently happened a few weeks ago and the teacher was reprimanded, fired, but the school got such negative publicity they hire her back. So no, it doesn't necessarily mean the condition would be well-known. If I hadn't seen the things I've seen over years, I'd be 100% agreement with you. Trouble is, I have seen the opposite of what you say too many times.
Click to expand...

Gotta help yourself before anyone can help you. I was able to beat a normally unbeatable disorder because of hard work. I truly think psychology experts are truly the biggest idiots in our nation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
New Posts
You must log in or register to reply here.

Advertisement



Back
Top