I think it's just containing the ****s given within imaginary borders created by men with too much power. Humans are humans, man. Loss of innocent life sucks, regardless of what nation you're from. Fact is, there are bigger atrocities being committed right now.
Basically, a stranger in Djibouti bears the same existential significance as a stranger in Wyoming.
Not to me, it doesn't. My duty is to my tribe.
Kind of like the complaint about why some care more about dogs than humans. Well, I'll tell you why I care more about my dogs and cats than I do humans: because they're a part of my family. They're in my tribe. This is to say that morality and identification are complicated things. I for one, don't believe in a nebulous universal mass of humans as most important; I believe foremost in who I know, who I identify with, who I can directly help/who can directly help me, who I share common interests with, etc.
As far as nation groups are concerned, Americans best meet those requirements for me.
I think you're well-intentioned and certainly if more people thought like you the world would be a better place.
But we can still mourn world suffering while holding those traumas and that suffering experienced by our nation as fundamentally more significant to us than the rest. Because it's our tribe.
And for all its flaws, national tribalism (call it nationalism, if you wish) is the only thing that ever got humans off this planet in the first place. Private industries would have never done it alone. They're too concerned about immediate profits (anti-tribalism) and would never have taken the long-term initiative.
Sorry for the rant. Now back to 9-11.