Marriage

If ever been married, have you had a marriage that ended in divorce?

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#330
#330
No. We are in a weird holding pattern. As long I do not look for love & acceptance, we have a great day. If I do, somehow the day includes an argument and long, awkward silence. There is hope, but little optimism.
 
#331
#331
When a person keeps their feelings inside, you do not truly know them. Whether you live with them or not. Distance or proximity has no bearing on knowing a person. The person has to actually tell you.

On the other hand, when a person gets angry, it is easy to see what makes them mad. It is clearly evident. But knowing what pisses a person off and what actually makes them happy are two TOTALLY different issues. They have nothing in common. They are not derived, enacted or dealt with in the same manner. EVERY one of our "arguments" would start out normal and then deteriorate from discussing feelings to angry bickering. For no reason other than a lack of effective communication. We badly need counseling if we are going to save our marriage. The question is does she want to go. The answer is no. She is not interested in saving it. She is not in a huge rush to get divorced either. But she is doing all sorts of new stuff and enjoying her new found "empowerment" as she calls it. But she isn't doing much of anything to help us or bring us back together. If anything, I would term her actions as "separation acts". Acts of independence. In short (yeah, right :) ), it don't look good.
 
#337
#337
I'm sure this has been addressed already, but I didn't want to read all 20 some odd pages. However, in case it hasn't...That 45% statistic applies to all marriages even 2nd 3rd or 4th marriages. So your poll and that stat aren't measuring the same thing. Your poll doesn't account for someone having multiple divorces.

Not a bad poll, just providing some feedback.
 
#345
#345
PimpVol said:
That is what I thought. Her parents do not exist. She was adopted by a single mother.


Today she said that she needs her freedom to do "what she wants to do".
Click to expand...

did you ask her exactly how much freedom, she thinks she going to have raising 3 boys as a divorced mom
 
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#346
#346
davethevol said:
I wonder how much strife in marriage is related to women's liberation and role reversals in the home/workplace. I saw a stat the other day that said 45% of married women are the primary income earners for their households. These changes in dynamics could be adversely affecting marriages without people realizing it. Just my 2 cents.
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Keep in mind that this 45% includes single moms. Just to clarify.
 
#348
#348
No. My mom had little freedom raising my brothers & I. But that does not matter. She will do what it takes to ruin our family. She is committed to it too. Fully. She thinks her new found sense of religion is going to help her. She has been "called" she claims, not to be a minister mind you, but "called" none the less. God (Jamal Bryant) told her I am not the right man. She is in there right now playing church music and having a great time. Making me not like church or religious people. How on Earth is God doing this? Makes little sense to me.
 
#349
#349
vol_in_ar said:
did you ask her exactly how much freedom, she thinks she going to have raising 3 boys as a divorced mom
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All these single black mothers are coming together. They do not need a man. They just need God & each other to be ok. Wish they had told me before I built a family with one of these sorry mother****ers. Could have actually had a family with someone dedicated to seeing it through. Not some lil' ***** who will take her ball and go home like a ****ing child @ the first sign of trouble. Recruiting is VERY important. Got to start with the right material to get the desired result.
 
#350
#350
PimpVol said:
No. My mom had little freedom raising my brothers & I. But that does not matter. She will do what it takes to ruin our family. She is committed to it too. Fully. She thinks her new found sense of religion is going to help her. She has been "called" she claims, not to be a minister mind you, but "called" none the less. God (Jamal Bryant) told her I am not the right man. She is in there right now playing church music and having a great time. Making me not like church or religious people. How on Earth is God doing this? Makes little sense to me.
Click to expand...

can you get her to talk with you, her and the minister?
 
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