Funny Facebook Status'

[Chris4Vols22]

:lol:

Had to own up to it haha. Can't be hypocriticizing.

 

[pualsline]

 

[Volunteer_Kirby]

It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country.

It's what's INSIDE that counts.

I love you refrigerator.

 

[KingsportVol88]

That uneasy moment when my doctor is checking my junk for a physical and I run my fingers through her hair.

 

[vader]

That uneasy moment when my doctor is checking my junk for a physical and I run my fingers through his hair.

Even more uneasy

 

[pualsline]

 

[PKT_VOL]

 

[pualsline]

My bracket has more x's than Taylor Swift

 

[heartvols]

I know this post is over a month old, but . . . you also can't play the role of grammar nazi while posting a run on sentence as nasty as that one was.

Lol, I know that's right!

 

[pualsline]

 

[pualsline]

 

[KnoxRealtorVOL]

Disregard the ad at the bottom

 

[pualsline]

"Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office. I WILL track you down. You have my Word."

 

[KingsportVol88]

Women wake up yawning while men wake up with an erection. Coincidence?? I think NOT

 

[pualsline]

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

[pualsline]

 

[Georgia Peach]

.

 

[pualsline]

 

[PKT_VOL]

Win!

 

[orangebloodgmc]

I hope they read him his Miranda rights.

 

[pualsline]

 

[Phat-Phil]

"What the f*** is almond milk? Almonds ain't got no titties."

 

[rjd970]

"I named my WiFi after my last girlfriend because it's never fully connected with me, it's really slow ans stupid...and also because I caught other people using it."

 

[TNinSC]

My brothers girlfriend posts from her first trip to Joes Crab Shack: "i can't believe it took me this long to have crabs. Not too bad....",

 

[Obsessed]

My brothers girlfriend posts from her first trip to Joes Crab Shack: "i can't believe it took me this long to have crabs. Not too bad....",

Lmao