Not a dry eye in this house. Must read.

#26
#26
VOLS VOLS VOOOOOOOLS
I SAID GO VOLS PEOPLE

Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for dinner
 
#27
#27
DieRache said:
Everyone this short story/ poem was written by my 14 year old girl. A little back ground. She has always since she was a baby sat with me and watched every game. She is true Vols fan. I held her the entire NC game, she was only a few months old at the time. She has watched the VolNation go thru the tough times. She has been thru them as well. She still wakes up with me on game day and we tailgate ourselves even if we are 9 hours away. Any way she had to write a poem. She wrote this...

The night was dark and cool. A slight breeze blew off the water in to his house. He had been gone for a while. When he left he thought he had left the house in good hands. And for years it had been. He had been watching over them from afar.
After a time his house was left to fall into turmoil. A once great man had fallin onto hard times and was having trouble taking car of the old man's house. So a younger man was brought in, and after abusing the house and bring much dishonor and chaos into it, and leaving in haste. An honorable man was hired to take over and to restore the household.
Too be sure his house was restored to past glory the old general decided it was time to return and provide a guiding hand and to over watch this honorable man do his work. The Honorable man brought in young men of talent and pride to help with his task. They stood tall as they worked hard, proud to be call upon to stand and defend the house they call Neyland.
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That'a'girl.
 
#29
#29
Special Ed said:
Nothing poetic about the structure.
More of a brief composition than a story.
A for effort.
C minus for spelling/grammar.
B for composition.
C for content (short on thematic elements)
C+ for structure/substance
A for Vol-mania
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Are you retarded? Wait, nevermind.
 
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#33
#33
Just thought a little constructive criticism might help before she turns it in to her teacher. Not that hard to fix this - if she really cares to. My kids always had me parse their work before they turned it in for a grade. It's a habit with me.
 
#35
#35
Special Ed said:
Just thought a little constructive criticism might help before she turns it in to her teacher. Not that hard to fix this - if she really cares to. My kids always had me parse their work before they turned it in for a grade. It's a habit with me.
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Not appropriate. Appropriate behavior is something you need to learn. And then maybe you can teach that to your kids.
 
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Reactions: 10 people
#36
#36
Great read. This is a 14 year old girl with a detailed knowledge of our program's recent history. I have 2 girls ages 6 and 3. I hope when they are teenagers they still want to hang with dad and watch/go to the games. Congrats on raising a VFL!
Posted via VolNation Mobile
 
#39
#39
DieRache said:
Everyone this short story/ poem was written by my 14 year old girl. A little back ground. She has always since she was a baby sat with me and watched every game. She is true Vols fan. I held her the entire NC game, she was only a few months old at the time. She has watched the VolNation go thru the tough times. She has been thru them as well. She still wakes up with me on game day and we tailgate ourselves even if we are 9 hours away. Any way she had to write a poem. She wrote this...

The night was dark and cool. A slight breeze blew off the water in to his house. He had been gone for a while. When he left he thought he had left the house in good hands. And for years it had been. He had been watching over them from afar.
After a time his house was left to fall into turmoil. A once great man had fallin onto hard times and was having trouble taking car of the old man's house. So a younger man was brought in, and after abusing the house and bring much dishonor and chaos into it, and leaving in haste. An honorable man was hired to take over and to restore the household.
Too be sure his house was restored to past glory the old general decided it was time to return and provide a guiding hand and to over watch this honorable man do his work. The Honorable man brought in young men of talent and pride to help with his task. They stood tall as they worked hard, proud to be call upon to stand and defend the house they call Neyland.
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Well done. :salute: I'm also glad I'm not the only one who has told fictional stories such as this around our program. Way back when, I did something very similar with Fulmer and Spurrier --two brothers born of the same land but only one could be given the inheritance while the other's desire for riches and glory led him to reside and become like the residents of those outside the land of his birth. Fate would force him to become a warrior for the outside land and attack what was once his home. etc. etc.

Your girl has a good mind for fiction writing, please encourage to write more about any topic she enjoys. One day her imagination and storytelling ability may wind up being key to her future.
 
#40
#40
Special Ed said:
Just thought a little constructive criticism might help before she turns it in to her teacher. Not that hard to fix this - if she really cares to. My kids always had me parse their work before they turned it in for a grade. It's a habit with me.
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Clearly.
 
#45
#45
DieRache said:
Everyone this short story/ poem was written by my 14 year old girl. A little back ground. She has always since she was a baby sat with me and watched every game. She is true Vols fan. I held her the entire NC game, she was only a few months old at the time. She has watched the VolNation go thru the tough times. She has been thru them as well. She still wakes up with me on game day and we tailgate ourselves even if we are 9 hours away. Any way she had to write a poem. She wrote this...

The night was dark and cool. A slight breeze blew off the water in to his house. He had been gone for a while. When he left he thought he had left the house in good hands. And for years it had been. He had been watching over them from afar.
After a time his house was left to fall into turmoil. A once great man had fallin onto hard times and was having trouble taking car of the old man's house. So a younger man was brought in, and after abusing the house and bring much dishonor and chaos into it, and leaving in haste. An honorable man was hired to take over and to restore the household.
Too be sure his house was restored to past glory the old general decided it was time to return and provide a guiding hand and to over watch this honorable man do his work. The Honorable man brought in young men of talent and pride to help with his task. They stood tall as they worked hard, proud to be call upon to stand and defend the house they call Neyland.
Click to expand...

How quick can we get this mailed to Dooley and our players, if a read like this won't inspire you to stand strong you don't have an ounce of orange in your blood. :good!:
 
#46
#46
You have a daughter to be proud of! Hope when she grows up, she gets to graduate from UT with honors!
 
#48
#48
DieRache...Tell your daughter thanks for sharing her beutiful poem.

Brought a tear to my eye it did.
 
#49
#49
Special Ed said:
Just thought a little constructive criticism might help before she turns it in to her teacher. Not that hard to fix this - if she really cares to. My kids always had me parse their work before they turned it in for a grade. It's a habit with me.
Click to expand...

Are you kidding? That's A+ work in public school, unless her teacher is a fan of a rival school.
 
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