I need some help making a life decision.

#1
jhcrane14

jhcrane14

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#1
So I know this form is not the place to go to ask advice on important life decisions, but the Lord put it on my heart to come here to ask. And overall, this is really not that crucial of a decision but it’s important to me.

So here’s the deal, I found out that I am going to be a father recently, and my wife wants to have a baby reveal and I do not. I believe the word of God when it tells us we are hidden inside our mother‘s womb and that to do the gender reveal is spitting in God’s face and saying you trust science over God. Is that too self-righteous of me?

I talked to my wife about it a little bit and she is really intent on doing it so part of me agreed. But she wanted to do the traditional colors, pink and blue, the colors of our wedding were orange and green so I told her I wanted to do our wedding colors for the baby reveal.

Green is a girl and Tennessee orange is a boy, however, I have gotten a lot of backlash from this saying it should just be the standard pink and blue.

Am I overthinking this and being too arrogant? Any fathers out there who have gone through this and can help give me a little bit of advice?
 
#8
#8
A bit legalistic if you are confusing being hidden in the womb and gender reveal as spitting in God's face. All science is doing here is confirming the sex of the child he already placed in your wife. If I were you, I'd be praying you are more biblical and less legalistic in raising your child. No offense.
 
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#9
#9
GVF said:
A bit legalistic if you are confusing being hidden in the womb and gender reveal as spitting in God's face. All science is doing here is confirming the sex of the child he already placed in your wife. If I were you, I'd be praying you are more biblical and less legalistic in raising your child. No offense.
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No offense taken at all, this is more along the advice I was looking for. I realize our feelings can lie to us. I’m just looking for a healthy way to visit my frustration and get over my feelings. I realize part of me is being self-righteous. I just need to give it to God and move on.

Thank you 🙏
 
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#10
#10
I am not a fan of these gender reveal things. It, to me, indicates you are overly infatuated with drawing attention to yourself. If you feel the need to make a huge production out of it, then whatever. But it seems like just a huge waste of time and money. Spend the resources more effectively by putting that toward growing closer together as upcoming parents. Tell your closest friends and family if you want to.

The Bible doesn't condemn the practice of a gender reveal per se as the angels were prone to telling folks they would have a son. I think what is condemned is the vanity that goes along with this type of thing.
 
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#11
#11
superdave1984 said:
I am not a fan of these gender reveal things. It, to me, indicates you are overly infatuated with drawing attention to yourself. If you feel the need to make a huge production out of it, then whatever. But it seems like just a huge waste of time and money. Spend the resources more effectively by putting that toward growing closer together as upcoming parents. Tell your closest friends and family if you want to.

The Bible doesn't condemn the practice of a gender reveal per se as the angels were prone to telling folks they would have a son. I think what is condemned is the vanity that goes along with this type of thing.
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That and the risk of the husband doing something utterly stupid (aka redneck) and putting everyone at risk. lol. Most reveal parties end up with the parents acting like they special the first ones to birth a child in 50 years.
 
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#14
#14
volmanjr said:
I feel like you are worrying too much about the details. As a father whose 2 boys are grown and gone from the house, I regret not slowing down to cherish all the little moments along the way. Plus, happy spouse happy house.
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Thank you, I needed to hear this.
 
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#15
#15
BigOrangeMojo said:
The bigger spiritual issue would be going into debt to finance a gender reveal. If you are plopping it on a credit card, you are blatantly going against biblical principles (the borrower is slave to the lender)...
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Thankfully, I’m not paying for any of it. It is all being handled by someone else and I am not spending anything. Part of me deep inside is still against it, but I love my wife, so I am humbling myself and doing it for her.
 
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#16
#16
My wife and I have an almost 6-month old. We didn't do a "gender reveal". It's mostly an attention grabbing waste, in both of our opinions.

We told our parents directly at home. Then we let the people we cared about know.

We did spend a little more for an all-out baby shower, though.

I don't think doing one is spitting in the face of God by any stretch, if that's the actual worry.
 
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#17
#17
superdave1984 said:
I am not a fan of these gender reveal things. It, to me, indicates you are overly infatuated with drawing attention to yourself. If you feel the need to make a huge production out of it, then whatever. But it seems like just a huge waste of time and money. Spend the resources more effectively by putting that toward growing closer together as upcoming parents. Tell your closest friends and family if you want to.

The Bible doesn't condemn the practice of a gender reveal per se as the angels were prone to telling folks they would have a son. I think what is condemned is the vanity that goes along with this type of thing.
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Angels telling people they would have a son is a really good point…thank you 🙏
 
#18
#18
I think gender reveals are kind of dumb. But if it keeps wife happy as she is nearing the birth of your child, I'd bite my lip and do it. Just don't break the bank on the thing. Happy wife, happy life and all that.

Maybe lean into it as a celebration of the life God has entrusted to you're keeping.
 
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#19
#19
First, congratulations! Don't lose sight of how blessed you and your wife are.

Tons and tons of small stuff will come up related to having kids. Little inconveniences, little catastrophes, little victories, and little amazements. In the scheme of your role of being a parent, don't overthink each little thing.

The commandment is Love. The parenting commandment is train them up in the way they should go. The rest is the best gravy straight from God.

Before you know it, you'll see the first steps, the first busted lip from a fall, the first words, the first cuss words, the first date, the first way too late curfew missed, the first..... you're going to be a grandpa.

Don't sweat the small stuff. There's a lot of small stuff with kids and some of it is gold and some of it is coal. Enjoy it all.
 
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#20
#20
jhcrane14 said:
So I know this form is not the place to go to ask advice on important life decisions, but the Lord put it on my heart to come here to ask. And overall, this is really not that crucial of a decision but it’s important to me.

So here’s the deal, I found out that I am going to be a father recently, and my wife wants to have a baby reveal and I do not. I believe the word of God when it tells us we are hidden inside our mother‘s womb and that to do the gender reveal is spitting in God’s face and saying you trust science over God. Is that too self-righteous of me?

I talked to my wife about it a little bit and she is really intent on doing it so part of me agreed. But she wanted to do the traditional colors, pink and blue, the colors of our wedding were orange and green so I told her I wanted to do our wedding colors for the baby reveal.

Green is a girl and Tennessee orange is a boy, however, I have gotten a lot of backlash from this saying it should just be the standard pink and blue.

Am I overthinking this and being too arrogant? Any fathers out there who have gone through this and can help give me a little bit of advice?
Click to expand...
Firstly, I don't think God will care about you discovering the gender of your child through scientific methods.

Secondly, as man that has been happily married for 26 years. Let her have the colors she wants. It means more to her than it will to you. When you see her happiness in the moment, it will be worth it to you to let her have her way.

Congratulations to you and your wife.
 
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#23
#23
SayUWantAreVOLution said:
First, congratulations! Don't lose sight of how blessed you and your wife are.

Tons and tons of small stuff will come up related to having kids. Little inconveniences, little catastrophes, little victories, and little amazements. In the scheme of your role of being a parent, don't overthink each little thing.

The commandment is Love. The parenting commandment is train them up in the way they should go. The rest is the best gravy straight from God.

Before you know it, you'll see the first steps, the first busted lip from a fall, the first words, the first cuss words, the first date, the first way too late curfew missed, the first..... you're going to be a grandpa.

Don't sweat the small stuff. There's a lot of small stuff with kids and some of it is gold and some of it is coal. Enjoy it all.
Click to expand...
Thank you, I needed to hear this.
 
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